


Damaged Feathers

by swan_regal



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), SwanQueen - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Jennifer - Freeform, OUAT - Freeform, Once Upon A Time, Regina Mills - Freeform, SQ - Freeform, Self Harm, Suicide, Swan Queen - Freeform, emm - Freeform, emma swan - Freeform, lana - Freeform, mills, morilla - Freeform, morrison - Freeform, parrilla, regina - Freeform, swan - Freeform, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 47,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2612486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swan_regal/pseuds/swan_regal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma's past is haunting and the stress of being the saviour is starting to get to her. She does her best to hide it and only one person notices. Only one person is capable of understanding. But is Regina too late to save Emma from her inner demons? What will she do when she finds the blonde bleeding to death from her wrists? Will all of this push Regina over the line...quite literally?<br/>-<br/>A suicide attempt. Two damaged women. The swan. The queen. A perfect recipe for love or disaster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: story contains mature themes such as suicide and self harm. I in no way intend on offending or triggering anyone.

Hey guys! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I'm warning you now that there are some quite mature themes in my story, such as suicide and self harm.  
I'm not sure if I will continue writing this so let me know if you actually want me to. Your opinions and feedback are very much appreciated. Thanks and happy reading!  
-  
-  
"We will kill you! We will get our revenge on you once and for all!"  
Regina was pinned against the door of her mansion with a large group of angry citizens before her, yelling while flinging tomatoes and eggs towards the lone woman. Regina had lost the energy to fight back so she just stood on her porch as the people of Storybrooke grew louder and more violent by the second.  
Leroy had taken over the riot and was right in Regina's face, yelling at her and pushing her against the door. Just as Leroy's hands clasped around Regina's small neck, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.  
"Get your hands away from Mayor Mills, Leroy, or so help me I will personally see to it that you are thrown over the town line. Got it?"  
Regina let out a long breath that she hadn't realised she was holding, at the sound of the sheriff's voice cutting through the yells. Relief washed over her and her muscles relaxed a little.  
Emma slowly pushed her way through the crowd and made it up to the porch where Leroy had released Regina but was still glaring at her with malice.  
Emma grabbed his shoulder and yanked it back while yelling, "Hey! I'm talking to you! You will back off before I escort you to the town line, Leroy, and if you think for one second that I am messing around then you are sorely mistaken!"  
Leroy's glare transferred to Emma but the look he got in return proved that her intentions were true. He backed down the stairs joining the mob who had now hushed. Emma continued her speech, "And that goes for all of you. I'm putting a new law into place. If I find any of you attempting to hurt Regina again I will banish you across the town line. Am I clear?!"  
Disappointed grunts and whines filled the air but stopped immediately when Emma raised an eyebrow.  
The group gave up and began walking away. As Emma turned to face Regina, who hadn't moved from her position, a stray tomato crashed into the mayor's temple. Emma snapped her head around and shot an intense glare at the group who scurried off in a hurry.  
Emma turned to face Regina once more while opening a brown paper bag. She pulled out a napkin and made her way over to the brunette who was looking down at her shoes. Emma took in the sight before her. The 'Evil Queen' didn't look evil at all. All she saw was a woman with a bad past in need of a second chance.  
The Mayor raised her head to look at Emma, who had moved closer than arms distance. "Here." Emma said, as she raised the napkin in her hand to the side of Regina's face. Regina tried to step back in protest but Emma grabbed the Mayor's shoulder with her free hand. "Just let me help you.  
Please?" Regina shuddered under the sheriffs touch. She opened her mouth to argue but saw no point. She sighed in defeat and let Emma wipe away the squashed tomato.  
Regina had to suppress the giggle that arose in her throat as she watched Emma's tongue slip out of her mouth and her face scrunch up in concentration. Regina examined Emma's face from her pink lips to her defined jaw line. She had never seen the sheriff so close before. But she had always known how beautiful she was. While the Mayor was lost in her thoughts of the blondes beauty, Emma had finished wiping away the tomato juice from Regina's face and had turned around and was heading to the top of the stairs. She sat down on the top step placing her paper bag on her lap while motioning for Regina to join her. The Mayor mentally scolded herself for thinking of Emma in that fashion and joined the other woman on the stairs.  
"That's the third one this week Regina." Emma snuck a look over to the brunette sitting next to her but quickly looked away as Regina started to speak, "I know. I don't know......wait. How did you know to come? I assume no one in that beastly crowd called you over and I certainly didn't." Regina looked over to Emma who had picked up her paper bag and was waving it in the air in front of Regina's nose. 

"It's my lunch break. I was planning on going for a nice walk out to the park so I could enjoy my toasted sandwich away from the chaos that the town has become. That was when I heard a commotion so I came to check it out." Emma sighed and put her chin in her her hands with her elbows balancing on her thighs.

"Thank you, Miss Swan. I am glad to have the authorities on my side right now." Emma looked at Regina and smiled a tired smile. It was only then, at that angle, that Regina noticed just how worn out the sheriff looked. The deep blue smudges under her eyes were prominent against her pale skin and the usual glint of mischief had vanished from her green eyes. "What are you looking at?" Emma started rubbing her her cheeks. "Is there something on my face? Regina! Get it off!" The brunette didn't realise she had been staring that long. "No Miss Swan. There is nothing on your face except the obvious tiredness. You look exhausted. Maybe you should have tomorrow off?" Emma raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "Ever since this curse business broke out I have had no time to rest. Everyone has gone absolutely mental. There is an angry mob constantly trying to seek you out and hurt you. But really I am fine. Why do you care what I do? Before I broke the curse you hated me. And now you're expressing concern about how much sleep I get? Careful Madame-Mayor-Evil-Queen-Regina, it almost looks like you care about me." 

As tired as she was, Emma would not let up an opportunity to mock the older woman. Regina shot a disgusted look at Emma but lessened the intensity when she saw the goofy smile on the Sheriff's face. "Your death stares don't scare me, your highness," she said as she stood up in front of the older woman and jokingly bowed. Emma extended her arms towards the still seated woman, offering a helping hand. Regina resisted the underlying urge to grab onto the sheriff's hands and said, "I'm fine Miss Swan." 

Once both women were standing an awkward silence broke out. "Well...Sheriff Swan you had better go back to your job and let me get back to mine." Regina had opened the door to her mansion and was about to step inside when Emma spoke, "Regina wait! I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't be staying here." The mayor turned and glared at the blonde.

"What? I shouldn't stay in my own house?" Emma's gaze fell to the floor, "I just...as sheriff of this town I don't think it is safe for you to be here alone. The angry mobs target you and your home. It's dangerous." 

"Well, Sheriff, I think your message was pretty clear today so I'm sure they won't bother me again. I am offended that you don't think I can protect myself against a few idiots. And besides, no one in town would rent me a place to stay." 

"Regina I mean that you could come and live with me." The Mayor's eyebrows furrowed at that comment and before she could say anything the blonde quickly corrected herself, "I mean with me and the others of course. Like Mary Margaret and David. Henry too?"

"Miss Swan I think you are forgetting that your mother and father are two of the people who hate me the most. I destroyed their home and took you away from them. You would be very dim witted to believe that they would let me into their home with open arms." The harsh tone in Regina's voice visibly hurt Emma. The Mayor took a step forward with regret and said "Emma I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I just don't know that it would work."  
Emma held back a smile. She loved it when the mayor used her first name.  
"Ms Mills, as sheriff of this town I order you to come and live in Mary Margaret's house. There is a spare room for you next to my room and Henry will also be there. You can see him every day in a safe environment." 

The mayor raised her eyebrows as if to question Emma's authority. Emma was quick to add, "and I know that everyone else is scared of you but I'm not so get your crap together and come over at 7pm. That's that. Okay?"  
Regina sighed in defeat, "On one condition. You must take the day off tomorrow to get some sleep. Do we have an agreement Miss Swan?" 

"It seems we do."  
-  
-  
Later that day

Regina stood right outside Mary Margaret's door. She lifted a shaky hand up to the door handle but pulled away. This was a bad idea. She knew it was. She backed away, picking up her bags. She quickly walked back down the hall, turned the corner and smashed straight into someone.

"Mum!"

Regina gathered herself and looked down to see Henry's excited face staring back. "Mum where are you going? I thought you were staying with us from now on!" 

"She is." Regina looked beyond Henry to see blonde curls bouncing about as Emma ran up the stairs. She kneeled down next to Henry and said, "Hey kid, how about you grab your Mum's bags and take them to the spare room? I'll let you have ice cream for dessert?" Henry beamed at his mother and she returned the smile. 

As soon as he had left Emma's face dropped and she stared at the wall deep in thought. She sighed as she ran her ringers through her tangled hair. "What's wrong?" The brunette's words caused Emma to snap out of her daze. "Huh? Oh nothing. Long day I guess. Are you ready to do this?"

"I don't think it's right Miss Swan. Your parents hate me." Emma took a few steps closer to Regina and said "And you hate me but we seem to have come to some kind of compromise. So maybe they can too?" With that Emma walked past the mayor and towards the door to Mary Margaret's flat. "I don't hate you Emma." The blonde threw a look over her shoulder, "I can't hear you Regina! Come over her! Let's get this over with."

Regina made her way over to Emma, who had opened the door. The younger woman walked in first and was greeted by David, "Emma! Sweetie how are you? How was your..." His face went solemn at the sight of Regina. Mary Margaret walked into the room and her eyes widened when she saw the brunette that had entered her house. "What the hell is she doing here?! Get her out of my house right this instant!"  
Emma rolled her eyes and looked blankly from David to Mary Margaret. 

"Mum, Dad, she will be staying with us for a while. Until all these riots stop she needs to be somewhere safe and I believe that is right here with us."  
Mary Margaret opened her mouth to protest but Emma raised a hand in annoyance and continued, "I really don't care what you have to say about the matter. The fact is that she is staying here with us and that's final." Regina's eyebrows raised. She was impressed with Emma's show of authority and was also surprised to see Charmings back down. They obviously weren't happy but they weren't willing to fight Emma about it just yet.

After the initial fuss, things seemed to run smoothly. Mary Margaret and David were cooking dinner, Henry was in his room reading and Emma had shown Regina her new room. "If you need anything at all just give me a yell." Emma smiled at Regina and exited the room.  
-  
-  
Later that night

Dinner went as good as expected. The silence was extremely obvious. No one spoke for the whole duration and Emma had barely touched her food when she stood and took her plate over to the sink. She noticed that Regina had finished her pasta so she walked back over to the table and collected her plate and took it to the kitchen. Regina felt extremely uncomfortable at the table without Emma present so she too stood and made her way to the kitchen. 

Regina noticed Emma's plate still full of food, "Miss Swan, you have barely made a dent in your dinner." With a shrug of her shoulders, Emma dumped the remains of her dinner into the bin and placed her plate in the sink. The mayor frowned at Emma who gave her a sad smile in return and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. Regina was quick to follow her. She didn't want to be left alone with the Charmings.

She silently made her way up past Emma's room and into her own. She slumped down onto the soft double bed and sighed. Closing her eyes, Regina listened. She could hear the muffled voices downstairs of Henry talking to The Charmings, the low buzz of the heater in the corner of her room and also she could hear Emma humming to herself in the room next to her. The brunette couldn't help the smile that made its way onto her red lips. It sounded so peaceful and it felt so homely that Regina felt fully relaxed for the first time in years. 

She was abruptly pulled from her thoughts as a loud thud came from Emma's room, followed by a, "Shit!" Regina found herself running into the blondes room fearful that they were under attack by a mob of angry towns people. But all she found was Emma sprawled out, face down, on the hard wooden floor. Emma turned her head slightly to see the mayor in the doorway. "Sorry to startle you Regina, I just wasn't looking where I was going. I slipped." She sheepishly grinned at Regina who had made her way over to help the blonde up. "Miss Swan, would you be so kind as to stop fooling around and..." As she bent over to help the blonde up, she noticed Emma's shirt had slid up revealing her lower back. Regina froze when she saw the faded white lines all over the pale skin. 

Emma had managed to sit up now. Regina's voice was harsh when she said, "Emma, where did they come from?" When the blonde didn't respond Regina asked again, "Miss Swan! Where the hell did those scars come from?" Emma's face flushed hot and red. She looked up at Regina and then back down at the floor. "For God sake Emma! Where..." Regina's voiced softened when she realised that the blonde was crying. She felt a pang in her heart looking at the shivering young woman beneath her. She wanted to engulf the blonde in a warm hug but resisted the urge. Instead she sat down next to Emma and pressed her back against the bed frame. 

"Emma?"

"You know how I was in the system as a kid? Yeah well I got passed around a lot. I was just a meal ticket that got thrown around. I was worth nothing to them. When I was 12 I was put in a home with 2 other kids. If we stepped out of line, well...the consequences were...we would get taken to the back room and Matthew, my foster father, would take the belt off his jeans and whip us. It's no big deal Regina, really. It's in the past." The brunette sat silent, her jaw dropping from what she had just been told. She had to turn her head away from the sheriff as she could feel her eyes filling with tears. She managed to hold them in and she turned back to the blonde. "Emma I..."  
"Regina seriously. It's no big deal. It was in the past. I have moved on. I'm...I'm over it. I'm okay." And with that Emma pushed up with her legs, sliding up and sitting on the edge of her bed. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her black hoodie. Regina stood and went to say something but Emma cut her off, "Careful there Madame Mayor! There you go again! If you keep this up people might begin to actually think that you are capable of caring!" At that comment Emma lay back on her bed and smirked at Regina who had walked over to the doorway. She stopped before leaving and said, "Watch your tone, Miss Swan. After all you are speaking to the one and only Evil Queen." Regina did her best evil laugh which left the two women giggling hysterically.

As Regina walked into her own room and plopped herself onto her bed. She felt a deep satisfaction at being the cause of the blonde's laughter. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes tightly shut.  
-  
-  
She was only asleep for a few hours when she was awoken by Emma's screams,

"HELP! NO! NO PLEASE NO! MATTHEW NO! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!"

Panic rose in Regina as she heard the younger woman screaming. She shot up, ran out her door and heard footsteps to her right. Henry came into view down the hallway, walking rather casually. "Oh, hey Mum!" Regina gave him a confused look, "W-what's going on Henry?!"  
"It's Ma...her nightmares. She has them almost every night." Henry pushed past Regina, walked through the door and over to Emma, who was shaking and crying under her covers. Henry slipped into his mothers bed and hugged her tight and whispered that it was just a dream. He told her that he was there and that it will be okay. Regina's heart melted at the sight of his little prince acting so grown up while comforting the blonde. She didn't need anyone to tell her what those nightmares were about. 

Emma looked at Regina in time to see a look of sympathy and understanding. But as soon as she had seen it, it had disappeared again and she was left with Regina's usual masked face. 

The brunette went downstairs to fetch Emma a glass of water. By the time she went back upstairs, Henry was leaving his mothers room. "She's calmed down now. It might happen again but you don't need to worry, we have a routine" He gave her a tired smile and wandered back off into his bedroom. Regina walked over to where Emma lay and handed her the glass. The blonde sat up and thanked Regina, who had kneeled on the floor besides Emma's bedside table. She noticed an unlit candle sitting next to some of the blondes other possessions. Regina waved her hand around the top of the candle a few times. All of a sudden the candle was alight with a purple flame, dancing about in the darkness. 

"You can still use magic?"  
"Of course dear, I just haven't been because you know. I want to change for Henry." Emma smiled at Regina, "So what's the candle for?" The mayor took the empty glass from Emma's hands and said, "Keeps the nightmares away." She smiled and left the blonde alone to sleep.  
-  
-  
The next morning

Emma sensed someone in her room. She had only just woken up and she hadn't opened her eyes yet. She lay for a while listening to the shuffling of feet in her room. She peeked through squinted eyes to see who it was and saw the familiar figure of the mayor. The brunette was looking on a shelf when Emma startled her, "Regina?" Her voice was rough and groggy from sleep, but it was enough to make Regina jump. "Oh, Miss Swan. I-I was just looking for some perfume. Henry told me I could find some on this shelf but I can't seem to see any. I'm sorry for waking you." Emma opened both eyes and said, "Why do you need perfume? You aren't going out today." 

Regina turned with a confused expression. "You told me to take the day off work. My work basically revolves around saving your ass these days and if you are here then I won't need to." Emma shut her eyes while smirking and continued, "No one will try and hurt you here. So stay. And don't try and argue with me because..." Before she could finish her sentence she was already asleep. A small smile played on Regina's lips as she stared at the sleeping blonde whose messy hair was swept over half her face. 

She went back to her own room and found herself another few hours of sleep.  
-  
She woke up to the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice, "Emma! What the hell! Wake up! You are supposed to be getting ready for work!" Regina rolled her eyes and listened. Lines formed across her forehead as she tried hard to hear Emma's response. She heard the blonde groan a few times before replying, "Mum. I don't have to work today. Regina gave me the day off." Mary Margaret scoffed, "That woman does not control you! You need to be out there helping the people of Storybrooke!" This time it was Emma who scoffed in annoyance, "No. Mum those people are quite capable of taking care of themselves for one day!"  
"Emma! You are the saviour for God sakes! You need to be out there showing everyone who you are!" 

Regina awaited Emma's response but there was silence. Her eyebrows furrowed as she listened harder. She moved closer to the wall so she could hear more clearly, "Mum please don't do this right now. Not while Regina is here. You know I don't like the term 'saviour'. I am not a great and heroic saviour. That's not who I am. It's who you want me to me." Her voice cracked with weakness and the older woman's heart ached when she could hear the vulnerability in the words. Mary Margaret's harsh tone angered Regina, "You are the saviour whether you like it or not, so pull yourself together and start acting like it. Get up and go to work." The mayor jumped when she heard a door slam and her gaze fell on her own door when she heard the footsteps approaching. 

The door swung open and Mary Margaret's glare burned into Regina, "I want you out! When I get home from work you had better be long gone! You are not welcome here. You are evil!" The last three words were said with such malice that it made Regina cringe. The brunette in the doorway spun around and left. The space was filled moments later when a timid Henry walked in. "Mum? Don't listen to her. You aren't evil! I have to go to school now but I hope you're still here when we get back! I love you!" Regina smiled a sad smile, "I love you too Henry."  
-  
Regina and Emma had remained in their bedrooms until the Charmings and Henry had left. As soon as the coast was clear Regina felt the bubble of hunger in her stomach. She made her way down to the kitchen. She looked around in every cupboard for some ingredients and began preparing pancakes. 

Once she had finished eating her own, she made a few extra and placed them onto a plate with some maple syrup. She poured a glass of orange juice and carried the plate and cup up to where the blonde was still in bed. "Knock knock? You awake Miss Swan?" She earned a grunt from the sleeping woman. "I made pancakes." At this comment the blonde opened her eyes wide and grinned. "With syrup?!" Regina put the plate and glass on the bedside table. Emma looked at Regina with a confused smile, "I don't understand why people would want to hurt you. I mean, I read about you in Henry's book but I have never heard your story." She popped a chunk of pancake into her mouth and pointed to a vacant space on the end of her bed. Regina obliged and perched herself on the edge of the mattress , "Look. I lost someone that meant the world to me. Your mother took him from me. She took my happiness. So I took hers, along with everyone else's. I was evil. I am evil."

The hurt in Regina's eyes as she spoke made Emma want to take all of the older woman's pain away. When a single tear fell from Regina's eye she stood up to leave. Emma reached over and grabbed the brunette's hand, "Regina. You are not that person anymore. I don't care what Mary Margaret says because I believe that you have changed. Also, you are staying here regardless of what she says. You aren't safe at back at your house. Okay?" The mayor pulled back to release her hand from Emma's but immediately regretted the decision when the absence of warmth became obvious. "Emma. Your mother..." "Regina. I don't care what she says. I want you to stay. Please."

The brunette looked over to the younger woman whose eyes looked sincere and very tired. "Eat your pancakes and get some sleep. You look like you need it." Emma opened her mouth to say something but Regina cut her off, "I will be here when you wake up." With that, the brunette left Emma's room feeling unusually contempt with the idea that someone actually wanted her to hang around.  
-  
The rest of the day was quiet. Not an awkward quiet. Just a peaceful quiet. Emma slept for most of the day, occasionally coming down for a drink or something to eat. Regina spent her day seated comfortably on a chair, in the corner of the living room, with her nose in a book. 

Whenever Emma entered the room she would look over at Regina and wonder exactly why the woman who had the whole town running in fear, made her feel so safe. She rounded the island bench and poured herself a glass of orange juice.  
She put her elbows on the smooth surface and flicked through the newspaper that was on a pile of magazines. Emma loved reading the news papers. She loved reading about the big cities that she used to live in before Henry knocked on her door late that night. 

"Anything interesting happening on the outside?", Regina had noticed the blonde examining the paper. "Nothing out of the ordinary I guess. A few break ins, some guy won the lottery and lots of other boring..." Regina's head jerked up at the sound of glass shattering. Orange juice had splashed all over the floor and the younger woman had frozen.  
"Emma! What the hell!" Regina threw her book on the chair and ran over to the kitchen. "Emma what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" The blonde pointed to a page in the news paper and sunk to the floor, head in hands. Regina scooped up the paper and began to read aloud, "Matthew Hennings was killed last night in the crash that occurred on the corner of 6th and 7th street." She looked at the picture of a man with a cold glare then back down at the shaking blonde curled up on the floor and made the connection.

"Oh Emma", she said as she sat down, "Is he the Matthew from your nightmares? Your foster father?" Emma's sobs grew louder as she glanced at the older woman. Emma was laying down in a ball with her head next to Regina's thigh. Instinctively, the brunette placed a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder who responded by moving closer, lifting her head up and resting it in Regina's lap. She knew it was a bold move but she really didn't care right now. The mayor's shock took hold of her for only a second before she spoke, "Emma, he is gone now. He can't hurt you or anyone else ever again! I am so sorry! It's my fault. If I had never enacted that awful curse this never would have happened to you." Regina found herself running her fingers through locks of curly blonde hair in an attempt to comfort the younger woman. Emma's breaths slowed and her whimpers softened. "I know. I'm sorry I just freaked out when I saw the photo. Regina you can't think like that. If you never made the curse then, sure I wouldn't have been in foster care, but we also wouldn't have Henry. So I guess some good came out of it." 

Tears fell from the brunette eyes, half out of the burning guilt she felt in the pit of her stomach and half out of pity for the younger woman below her. The two women remained in that position, with Emma's head resting on Regina's thigh, for a long while. Both content in just having the comfort of each other, neither of them wanting to leave the other woman's warmth, though neither would dare to actually admit it. Regina let her head rest against the cupboard door behind her and closed her eyes, leaving her arm wrapped around the blonde's shivering shoulder. Emma felt the haze of sleep come over her, but not before hearing a faint, "I'm sorry", escape past the older women's cherry lips.  
-  
The women awoke with a jolt hearing the front door swing open and the Charmings walking in with Henry. Being the growing boy he was, Henry went straight around the island bench to grab some food but stopped dead when he saw the smashed glass, the orange juice everywhere and both his mums on the floor. 

"Ma? Mum? W-what happened?" 

The two women still groggy with sleep grunted in response. The stabbing pain in Emma's neck and the lack of feeling in Regina's legs made it obvious they had been asleep for a while. "What the hell is going on here?!" Mary Margaret now stood beside Henry. "What did you do Regina! Emma are you okay?" "Mum I'm-", Mary Margaret cut her off. "I thought I told you to get out of my house, Regina! And yet you are still here! Get away from my daughter this instant!" Emma sat up next to the brunette, their shoulders touching. 

"And you! I expected better from you Emma! I told you to get your ass to work but David tells me that you didn't even show your face all day!" At the mention of his name, David rounded the bench. He took in the scene, the two women on the floor looking quite terrified and his wife's red blotchy cheeks and bulging eyes. He pulled on Henry's shoulder forcing him away from the situation. 

"Let's go for a walk kid?" 

Both Emma and Regina mentally thanked David for sparing the child from having to witness any more. "Emma! Clean this mess up right now. And as for you, go and pack your things. You are not, and never were, welcome in my home. Your evil doesn't belong here." With that, Mary Margaret stormed off. Regina snuck a look at the woman beside her, who was staring at the ground through tear filled eyes. "Emma. I-"  
"I don't hear any movement in there!" Mary Margaret's voice pierced the air with its ferocity. Emma's eyes met the brown pair that were on her. She forced a smile, "I'm okay." Regina slowly got to her feet, immediately missing the comfort of Emma's shoulder pressing against her own. She exited the kitchen, remembering to grab the paper on the way through and throwing it in the trash can as she passed. 

She made it to the spare room and began to pack items into a duffel bag. She felt so guilty for leaving Emma down there alone with her mother. A million thought were dancing through Regina's head, swirling and entwining forcing the brunette to sit down due to dizziness. She took a few deep breaths and continued to pack until any sign that she had even been there was removed. She rolled her eyes at the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice and headed for the stairs. As she entered the room she saw that David and Henry had returned but she also noticed the blonde's absence. 

"Mum!" Regina felt small arms wrapping around her waist. She knelt down to be level with her son, "Hi Henry! Did you have a nice walk?" "Yeah it was okay, but Mum, what happened? Why were you and Ma on the floor with a smashed glass and orange juice and why was Mary Margaret yelling and why did Ma look like she had been crying and.." "Henry! Okay your Ma simply slipped and fell while holding the glass of juice. I was making sure she had no injures and she wasn't crying. She was just a little flustered is all." Regina felt the Charmings eyes burning into the back of her skull as she lied to her son, "and as for Mary Margaret's anger, I too would love hear an explanation as to why she would be yelling like that, but I'm afraid I don't have the time nor patience to endure such stories."  
She turned and met the glares of the couple standing over her. She stood and and placed her hands on her hips, "Now. Where is your daughter?" David scoffed, "Why the hell would you want to know! And why the hell would we tell you!" Regina's eyes skimmed over to Mary Margaret and she raised an eyebrow in question. "We don't want you anywhere near her! So I suggest-" Regina threw a hand up to stop Mary Margaret's yammering and turned to her son, giving him a hopeful half smile. 

"She went to work."  
-  
Emma had been at the station for a good half hour. Her face was still deep shades of red and her hands were still shaking. Paperwork fell off the desk as she rested her head, using her arms as a form of pillow. Emma closed her eyes and found herself lost, deep in thought. Her memories from childhood all the way up until today flooded through her brain and filled every possible cavity of her skull until she thought she might explode. A frustrated growl formed in her throat as she slammed her fist against the hard wooden table. The pain in Emma's wrist allowed her to focus her mind. 

She simultaneously rolled her eyes and frowned when she heard footsteps echoing through the hall. The footsteps stopped in the doorway behind Emma, who stayed facing the other way, "David, I'll come home soon but if you expect me to apologise to her then.." The blonde was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Then she heard the voice that makes her heart skip a beat and sends vibrations down her spine, 

"Miss Swan."

The way her name rolled smooth like honey off the mayor's tongue and past those red lips had Emma closing her eyes lost for words as she allowed herself to secretly enjoy the shivers that rippled through her body. The blonde pressed her sweaty palms against the hard oak table and exhaled, releasing the tension in her shoulders. "Regina?", she turned around to face the brunette and smiled, attempting to put up a hard front. "W-what are you doing? Why are you here?" The confusion on Emma's face mirrored the feelings churning inside of the older woman, for even she was wondering exactly why she had come. "I-uhh-well I-Emma you've been crying!", Regina noticed the puffiness of the younger woman's eyes and was grateful that the excuse to change the subject presented itself. 

"No! I'm just tired." Regina's gaze focussed on Emma's face for a moment, studying the hollowness in her eyes and the practiced smile. She walked over and sat across from the blonde, placing her hands closed together on the table top and shaking her head to flip a wisp of dark hair off her face. "Emma", she sighed, "That doesn't work on me." 

"What doesn't?" 

Regina looked up at and raised her hands, gesturing towards the woman across from her, "That." Emma raised a questioning eyebrow as Regina continued, "That thing you do. Where you hide how you really feel. You put up a wall disallowing anyone to truly know how you are feeling, and you, might I add, have near perfected it. However dear, you fail to understand that not everyone is as dim witted as your parents who have their judgement clouded with this overarching belief that everything is perfect. They have romanticised this world and they won't allow themselves to believe that something may be wrong. Thankfully, I am not as dull as they are. I can see right through your cover up, Miss Swan, and I know, for a fact, that you aren't coping." 

Regina tightened her fists into balls, preparing herself for whatever rage the other woman would throw upon her for speaking ill of her parents, but all that came was silence. Emma fidgeted, clenching her jaw and picking at her cuticles before she finally responded, "How can you tell?" She raised her head and green orbs met chocolate ones, "Emma, it's in your eyes. That smile that has everyone fooled doesn't work on me because I can see the hurt. You will never be able to cover up the fact that the goofy and mischievous spark that used to live in your eyes, is now gone."

The blonde stared at the older woman in realisation, "Y-you only know about all that because...because you do it too!" Regina hesitated, "Look...Emma, what I'm trying to say is that I can see something is off. You've stopped eating properly, you have those nightmares, you don't sleep and you act like everything is okay while you're around Henry but as soon as he leaves the real you comes out. The exhausted and hurt you comes out, and I know you think you're protecting him by hiding it but in the long run it will only end up hurting you and him and your family and..." Regina's voiced trailed off as she so badly wanted to add herself to the list but thought better of it. "...just talk to me Emma. Please." 

Tears rolled down the blonde's flushed cheeks as the wall that she worked so hard to build had slightly cracked, allowing the brunette to peek through. "Regina, I-I just. I just don't know what to do anymore." Regina could feel her heart tear as those words replayed in her head. Emma sounded so broken and defeated. She just wanted to be able to hold the blonde in her arms to protect her and take all of the pain away, but knowing that she couldn't do that saddened Regina. She hesitantly moved her hands forward and placed them over Emma's, feeling extreme pressure building up in her temples from nerves. But when Emma didn't pull away, a relief washed over the brunette and she felt her cheeks burn. 

"I just really don't know what to do anymore. Ever since I was a child, all I wanted was to find my real family and now that I have found them, well, it didn't exactly go as I had planned." Regina raised a curious eyebrow as the blonde continued, "I wanted to be able to spend time with them so I could get to know them, but they are so fixated with me being the 'Saviour', that they can't see me for who I am. They want a perfect daughter and I try! I really, really do! And it makes me so angry that I can't live up to their expectations! I hate myself for not being able to! Regina, I'm not good enough for them! It feels just like the foster homes I was in. I feel like I'm worth nothing. I am worth nothing. I can't really do anything right. I was useless as a child and I am useless now. My past has never really exited my mind and it's really scary sometimes and the whole saviour thing and the whole perfect daughter thing and the whole "we-want-to-kill-Regina" thing, it's just getting to me! I'm always tired and stressed and angry and upset and I just...I don't want the kid to see me like that so I hide it. And seriously, I am so angry at myself for ever letting myself believe that things will get better. Because I have given it time and it hasn't. And it won't. And I am lost. In all honesty, I don't really see a way out of the dark pit that has become my life because as soon as I think that I have found a way to climb out, I just fall on my ass again. There isn't even any point in trying anymore-"  
"No!", Regina's voice came out a lot shakier than she would have hoped. Her eyes welled up with tears as she squeezed the younger woman's hands tightly, "Emma don't you dare say that! You don't need a way out of this. You need a way through it!" The blonde was sobbing uncontrollably as she shook her head at the other woman, but Regina continued, "I don't care how long it takes! We will get through this!You are worth more than you could ever know, Emma, and you are perfect the way you are. You are perfect as you." 

"Regina...I just don't know what to do...wait what!? We?", the shock on Emma's face was evident and the brunette felt her face grow hot. Embarrassed, she pulled her hands away from the blondes and ran them through her hair, "Yes, we. I suppose it is the least I could do." 

Emma had stopped crying now as she stared at the older woman quizzically, a small smirk forming on her lips. Regina sensed eyes watching her, 

"What?" 

Emma continued to stare at the brunette, examining her features, "Before the curse broke, you hated me. But now we are sitting here, at my desk, having a conversation about something other than the 'destroying of my happiness'." She eyed Regina before getting to the point, "What changed?" The older woman's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed as she attempted to form words, "Well I-I...uh...I just um...I guess..." 

She sighed and mentally scolded herself for becoming flustered. Emma noticed how Regina's cheeks had turned the darkest shade of red she had ever seen. "Okay, well after you broke the curse, the whole town turned against me. I even lost Henry at one stage. But, even though I had treated you so horribly, you stayed by my side. At first I didn't want a bar of it, but as more and more mobs came to hunt me down, I suppose I found comfort in having someone on my side. You were not required to risk your own safety in trying to protect a monster, but you did. And now, seeing that you are the one in need of a little protection, I am willing to attempt to return the favour." Regina nodded her head slightly, satisfied with her answer not being a complete lie. It was simply the only half of the truth that Emma needed to hear.

"You aren't a monster, Regina, regardless of what everyone else thinks. And besides, you don't need to worry about those stupid people because you will always have Henry and myself on your side." Emma stared at the older woman until she caught her eye. 

They both exchanged sad smiles at the silent understanding, before it was interrupted by a phone buzzing. The blonde sighed before answering, "What do you want Mary...yes I am fine...can you just...yes she is with me and...stop yelling at me...no, stop interrupting...oh my god can you just...fine. I will come home now, but Regina is coming too...alright then I won't come...no mum I...okay good. I'll see you soon."

Emma hung up the phone and slammed it down on the hard brown surface. She combed through her hair with her fingers, looking over at Regina who had a concerned look on her face. The brunette shook her head, "I shouldn't-" "Why not? Regardless of whether you're there or not she will yell at me. She always does." The brunette stood and walked around to where the younger woman followed suit and Rose out of her chair. She reached out and grabbed Emma's hands in her own and instinctively began rubbing circles onto the soft skin with her thumbs. "We will get through this, Emma." Regina's reassuring smile caused butterflies to form in the blonde's stomach. She felt Regina's hands pull away as she went to turn towards the door but at the last second, Emma hesitantly wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck, pulling her in and hugging her tight. 

A breath escaped Regina's lips in surprise as she found herself engulfed in Emma's warmth. Feeling comforting hands pressing into her back as Regina relaxed into the hug, Emma was relieved that she hadn't pulled away. She let her head rest on the shoulder of the other woman for a long while before taking a step back. The older woman sensed the blonde etching away but held onto her for a few more moments before releasing her grip, instantly feeling the absence of heat and comfort. A small smile spread across Regina's red lips as she saw Emma's face slightly redden. "I promise, okay? No matter what happens, we will get through." The blonde glanced up at the older woman with a sincere smile, "Thank you, Regina." Not another word was said as the two made their way back to Mary Margaret's flat together.  
-  
Upon entry, Regina and Emma went straight upstairs, going past the glares shot in their direction from both Mary Margaret and David as they peered over their coffee mugs. The older woman found Henry in his room while the blonde went into her own room. 

"Henry? Are you awake?" He sat up in his bed with his back resting against the headboard, "Yeah Mum. Where have you been? Did you find Ma? Was she at work?" Regina perched herself on the end of the small bed, "Of course I found her, dear. She just needed some fresh air and time alone. Henry, does this happen frequently?" The boys gaze fell to his hands as he picked at the skin around his nails, "Ma is always getting yelled at by Mary Margaret which makes her really sad. I know she tries to keep it together to keep me safe but I know that she is sad. She cries a lot at night time." He looked up at his mother before continuing, "Mum, I just want her to be okay." "She will be okay Henry! I made her a promise tonight. Would you like to hear what is is?" His eyes widened in anticipation as he nodded his head. "I told her that you and I will help her through this and that we will get through this no matter what." A huge smile crept over Henry's face, "You really said that? Thank you Mum!" 

He crawled over to where his mother was sitting and flung his arms around her, squeezing so tight that Regina had to gasp for air. They stayed together for another minute or so in comfortable silence, until Emma's yells floated up from downstairs. Regina sighed as she stood from Henry's bed, "Stay here. I'll go check it out." 

With that, the brunette made her way down the stairs to the door dividing her from the next room. Regina heard her name being mentioned and decided not to enter straight away, instead pressing her ear against the cold wooden surface. 

"Mum! I can't even believe you! Regina isn't who you think she is! I really don't give two shits about what she did in the Enchanted Forest because we aren't there anymore! Wake up and see that you are in Storybrooke! Where she is Regina Mills the goddamn mayor! Not the Evil fucking Queen! Open your eyes and see that she is trying to change!"  
"No Emma! You haven't seen the real her! David and I have! She is evil, twisted and manipulative and she ruined our lives! Your life Emma, she ruined it!" Emma scoffed and her eyes burned into her mothers, "She may have been the reason for me growing up without you in my life but she is also the reason that we have Henry. Without her curse we wouldn't have our son." 

From the other side of the door, Regina's heart skipped a beat hearing Emma's words. 

"What! 'Our' son?! Henry doesn't belong to that...that monster! Henry is yours!" 

There was a pause before the blonde spoke again, "Are you serious. Are you fucking kidding me Mary Margaret. That so called 'monster' raised Henry. She witnessed his first steps. Her ears were blessed with the sounds of his first words. She was there when he rode his first bike. She was there to kiss away the pain from grazed elbows and knees. She was there to tuck him in at night and she was there to shine light through the darkness of his nightmares. Not me! She raised Henry." 

Emma paused to take a breath before continuing, tears filling her eyes and her voice becoming shaky, "Yeah sure, genetically he is my kid but I am not his mother. I am not worthy of calling such a wonderfully brought up kid my own. Whether you like it or not, Regina is, and always will be a better mother than I ever could have been to him. And for that, I owe her everything. I will not stand by and let you or anyone else treat her like shit because she doesn't deserve it! She is just a broken women who needs a second chance."

Regina's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, but she didn't have time to even think about it before Mary Margaret was at it again, yelling louder than ever before, "Emma. I don't know what kind of evil curse that woman has cast onto you but I promise we will fix it. We will talk to Gold and get you back to being the saviour in no time. You need to go and sleep this off because you don't even know what the hell you are saying."

"Are you being serious right now?! How many times do I have to tell you that she is not evil. She didn't curse me. I meant every single word of what I just said. And also, I am no saviour. You guys need to get that out of your heads because I can't take it anymore. I can't handle the pressure you and David put me under to be this big hero. You don't give me the chance to just be me. I am constantly worrying and stressing and I am over it. You guys make me feel like I am not good enough for you. I'm done Mary Margaret. I can't do this anymore. I can't." 

"Emma wait-"

Regina flinched hearing the front door slam shut. She paused to ponder for a moment. She was finding it extremely difficult to comprehend what had just been said. She couldn't help but feel this churning bubble of joy at the sincerity and kindness of the blonde's words. She thought about how Emma is with Henry and made a mental note to let her know that she is in fact a wonderful mother. 

Hearing Mary Margaret's fists slamming against a table top broke Regina away from her thoughts. She waited a moment for her mind to settle. 

Anger started to boil in the pit of her stomach as she burst into the room, "How...how dare you!", was all she managed to get out. The Charmings looked at her with such disgust but she continued anyway, "How dare you believe that I would place a curse on Emma! Especially after all she has done for me! You two idiots need to wake up from this dream that you are having! Your daughter was searching for you for 28 years and she has finally found you and all you can think about is her image?!" Regina put as much venom and anger as she could into her words, "All you focus on is trying to make her the saviour and shape her into your idea of a perfect daughter. Well, I suggest you snap yourselves out of this 'la-la land' you have created and realise that she is already perfect. She is perfect as Emma! Not some saviour that you want her to be. You fools are too blinded to even see the fact that your daughter is not coping! She doesn't want to be known as the saviour or the product of Snow White and Prince Charming. She wants to just be herself and you two aren't allowing her the chance!" She took a deep breath of frustration and continued, clenching her fists, "Stop being such selfish imbeciles and start actually caring about the daughter that you supposedly love. And if I hear that, after tonight, you have so much as used the term 'saviour' in front of Emma, I will personally deal with you. Do I make myself clear?!" 

David and Mary Margaret stood, holding each other for safety. "Oh, and wipe that fear off your faces. It's not a good look on you." Regina smirked before turning on her heels and exiting the room, making sure to slam the door extra hard, causing the whole house to rattle. The brunette pressed her back against the door as she began to mull over what had just occurred. Then she remembered.

Emma. 

-

"Henry!! Wake up!"

Regina shook the sleeping boy. "Henry wake up this instant!" The lump under the bed sheets began to wriggle and a brown mop of hair popped out of the blanket, "Mum?" Noticing the stream of tears falling from his mothers eyes he shot up looking extremely concerned, "Mum! What is it?" 

"It's your Mother. She ran out of the house a while ago and...and she wasn't in a good head space and...and...Henry I think she's in trouble. Is there anywhere that she likes to go? Anywhere at all that you can think of? Somewhere that she goes to collect her thoughts or be alone or anything? Henry-" The boy placed a hand on his mothers shoulder, "She loves the woods. Out by the toll bridge. If you cross the bridge and head north straight into the woods, you'll come across a small clearing. It's really closed in and peaceful there. She goes there to clear her head when she is stressed. Why Mum? What's going on?" 

"Thank you, dear. I really need to go! I'm sorry, why don't you ask your grandparents what's happening. I'm sure they would be happy to explain." 

With that, Regina turned and ran out of Henry's room, down the stairs, past the two idiots and out into the hallway. She tried calling Emma but cursed as no one answered. Remembering Henry's directions she ran out into the night in search of the younger woman.

As she reached the toll bridge it started pouring down heavy droplets of rain, "Are you serious?", she puffed, looking up at the sky. She really needed to find Emma, so she headed straight into the woods and after about three minutes, just as Henry had said, Regina came across a small clearing. She stood still and listened to the eerily quiet night for a moment. She almost jumped out of her skin when a rustling noise came from her right. "Emma?", she gasped as she turned to face the mysterious noise. 

"Emma!" 

The blonde was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against a log and her knees tucked into her chest. Her pale arms wrapped around her legs to hold them in place as her head rested on her knees. 

Regina ran over to the sobbing woman, sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the shuddering shoulders in front of her.

"Emma! What's going on? Why are you out here?!", and that's when she noticed the blood.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long for me to update. I’ve just been stressed these last few weeks finishing a Year 12 English short story then getting smashed straight after handing that in, with a goddamn essay on Shakespeare. BUT no more assessments to worry about now because its holidays which means heaps more updates!! Sorry for making you wait but here is chapter two!

The blonde was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against a log and her knees tucked into her chest. Her pale arms wrapped around her legs to hold them in place as her head rested on her knees.

Regina ran over to the sobbing woman, sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the shuddering shoulders in front of her.

"Emma! What's going on? Why are you out here?!", and that's when she noticed the blood.

 

“Oh Emma, what did you do?” Emma just glanced at Regina then looked down, releasing her grip on her own legs and turning her hands over, flinching as the heavy rain splashed onto the wounds. The older woman let out a gasp at the sight of the deep incisions on either wrist, “Oh my god. Emma! Okay, let me heal them and then we can get you to Whale and he can fix you!” The brunette frantically clasped her hands over Emma’s wrists in attempts to slow the bleeding, noticing how the blood had dribbled its way down Emma’s jeans and onto the wet ground. “Please we need to go now! Just let me help you! Come on, Emma! We need to go! Please…say something”

The blonde met Regina’s gaze with glassy eyes, “No.”

The older woman searched desperately in the green orbs for answers, “No? W-what do you mean no?”

“No. I don’t want you to heal them and I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

Regina shook her head, unable to comprehend the blonde’s words, “B-but….but you’ll-” “Yeah I know! I’ll die! And so what? No one needs me. All I am to them is ‘The Savior’. Why do you care anyway! A few months ago you wanted me dead more than anything! So now you are getting what you always wanted, so just leave me alone.” She attempted to pull her arms from the brunette’s grip, but failed. She began to weep, “Please! J-just let go. I want to go. I-I need to go Regina, please…please. I want to die, oh god, Regina, please just let me die-”

The older woman’s heart broke as she watched the blonde in front of her sob uncontrollably, “Emma…I was just scared of losing Henry, but I have changed! And don’t, for one second believe that no one needs you! Your mother and father need you, this town needs you, Henry needs you, a-and I need you. As ridiculous as it sounds, Emma, I need you. You are worth so, so much more than a label…well, to me you are” The younger woman searched the wet, chocolate eyes and was confused as she found truth in what was being said. “And, I-I…um…shit.” Regina mentally scolded herself for stuttering, “I’m not good at this emotions thing, but Emma, I really do need you…” Emma’s head started to tip to the side and her eyes fluttered open and closed. The older woman’s bloodstained hands shot up, cupping Emma’s pale cheeks, “No no no, Emma, stay with me!” The blonde’s eyes slowly opened and her mouth parted in an attempt to form words but Regina cut her off, “Please don’t leave me here alone Emma! Please…” Tears fell from both women’s eyes as they stared at one another, “I don’t want to live in a world without you! You cant leave me…please don’t leave me. Emma, I….I think….” The younger woman squinted to see through the heavy rain as thunder crashed in the sky. She saw the older woman’s lips moving but all she heart was a sharp ringing in her brain from the thunder, “W-what?”

Regina moved her face mere centimeters away from the younger woman’s, her heart beating furiously in her chest and her breathing becoming frantic, and yelled, “Emma! I-…goddammit…Emma, I love you.”

The younger woman’s eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed in a weak attempt to say something, but before she could, the brunette pulled her face forward, closing the gap between them. Plump red lips met soft pink ones. It took a moment for Emma to respond and Regina hoped it was due to shock rather than repulse, and was proved right as she felt the blonde deepen the kiss without further hesitation. Emma felt an overarching sense of belonging and Regina felt as though every weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

 

But it didn’t last long.

Suddenly, Emma stopped.

She stopped kissing, she stopped moving, she stopped feeling, she stopped breathing.

Regina caught Emma’s body as it fell limp into her arms.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She screamed as the life drained from the younger woman’s eyes, “NO! EMMA! WAKE UP!” The brunette was beside herself with fear, shaking the lifeless body with all the strength that she could muster, “SHIT! No Emma! Please don’t leave me here! Oh god please…you can’t go! Emma, I love you! Don’t go… …please don’t go.” She leaned down and kissed the pale woman, even though she knew very well that a kiss doesn’t wake one from this type of sleep.

Tears fell from Regina’s bloodshot eyes as she scooped Emma’s motionless body into her lap and hugged her tight. Suddenly, a purple mist engulfed the pair and they were gone.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Feeling the smooth, ice-cold surface of the hospital floor, Regina opened her eyes. Her vision was hazed over with tears and the only noise that she could her was her own whimpering. She tried to call for help, barely managing a whisper. Panic arose in the pit of the older woman’s stomach and she coughed to clear her throat, “SOMEONE HELP ME!” Satisfied with the volume of her scream she allowed her head to drop and rest on Emma’s chest. Suddenly, she felt the body beneath her being pulled away. She looked up and saw Dr. Whale and two nurses lift the blonde onto a stretcher. She watched as they ran off, wheeling Emma down the corridor, around a corner and into the depths of the hospital.

All fell silent. The brunette exhaled and leaned back against a wall. She sat, alone, in the dark room cold, wet, sobbing and praying for a miracle.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“EMMA! Where the hell is my daughter!? Whale!?”

Regina’s sobs ceased when she recognized whom the yelling was coming from. She sighed when she heard the two Charming idiots run through the automatic sliding doors and into the room in which she had been seated for just over an hour. Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, she kept still and quiet, not that the frantic couple would notice her in their panic anyway. She listened as footsteps ahead silenced the pair, “Ah I see you received my message. Emma is in critical condition and has lost a lot of blood but we just might be able to save her. If it wasn’t for…the Evil Queen getting her as quick as she did, well…the situation could have been a lot worse.”

“T-thank you Dr. Whale. Wait…Regina? What do you mean Regina got Emma here?” Struggling to speak through her whimpers, Regina couldn’t depict whether Snow sounded angry or just distraught.

“Uh yes, she came here…well, appeared rather, with Emma bleeding out in her arms. She’s sitting over there…” He raised his voice in annoyance glancing over to where the older woman was seated “…still dripping water onto my floor, might I add.”

The brunette didn’t have to look up to know that 3 pairs of eyes were staring at her. She could feel their gazes burning into her body. She kept her eyes glued to the floor in front of her and let her mind recollect all that had happened that evening.

“Well, I had better go and check on Emma now. Things aren’t looking so good at the moment, but I will call you if improvements on her status are made.” With a reassuring nod and a handshake from David, Whale was gone, leaving Regina alone with the Charmings.

Regina was so deep in thought that she didn’t even notice that Mary Margaret had made her way over to where she was sitting in a ball against the wall, “Regina!” No response. She tried again, “REGINA!” The frustrated tone in the woman’s voice startled Regina, jerking her away from her thoughts causing her to snap back into reality. Without so much as a glance up at the woman standing over her, Regina mumbled something downwards, into her lap.

“What did you say? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Regina finally looked up and Snow felt a pang in her heart seeing the tear stricken face of the older woman. She had never seen so much as a watery eye from Regina, let alone the full-blown sobs that she was witnessing right now. The contrast between the Evil Queen and the woman before her was almost incomprehensible.

Regina gathered enough energy to stand, but weakness took over. Her knees buckled so she was forced to use the wall for support. Mary Margaret looked the older woman up and down and gasped at the sight, “R-regina…is that…is that Emma’s blood?”

Regina’s eyes squeezed shut as she let out the loud cries that she had been previously withholding, “Yes…I…I…she ran and…I found her in the woods…and…there was so, so much blood…and, I tried Snow! I really did try but…but I couldn’t…and now she’s…I’m so-” The younger woman suddenly lurched forward and Regina flinched, preparing for a punch to the face or something of the sort. What she wasn’t prepared for was when Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around her shoulders, engulfing her in a warm hug. Regina stood still for a moment to take in what had just happened, before throwing her arms around the younger woman in return. “Regina, I am so sorry…I acted like a fool…I-I…thank you for finding her!” They remained in the embrace for a minute or so, Snow feeling grateful to have been reminded of the woman she once knew and Regina just willing to latch onto anything even remotely comforting.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“MOM!”

Regina, who had returned to her original position sitting against the wall, looked towards the sliding doors. “Henry! What are you doing here?!”

“Mary Margaret and David…they said…stay home…that something happened…I’m not stupid…I ran here…where’s Ma?” Still panting from his journey, Henry made his way over to his mother. He looked back and forth between Regina and the Charmings huddled together on the couch in the corner waiting for an answer. “Look, Henry dear-”

He cut her off, “Woah, Mom! You’re soaking wet and…  
I-is that…blood?! Mom! What happened to Emma?”

“Calm down, Henry. Your mother had an accident and she’s not doing so great right now, but Dr. Whale is taking good care of her!” The young boy ran into his mother’s arms and burst into tears.

They stayed in that position for a long while, giving each other comfort. After a good half hour, Regina heard Henry’s breathing even out as he fell asleep. She glanced up at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall, realizing how late it had gotten, “David? Hey, Charming, are you awake?” She whispered across the room to where the couple was seated, “Hey! Wake up!”

David’s eyes slowly opened and he lazily looked towards Regina, “What is it?”

“It’s past 2:30am…I just…Henry needs to go home, but I want to stay but he-” Charming cut her off, “Regina relax. I will take Henry home, it doesn’t seem like much is happening with-” The heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway was enough to silence the two. When Whale rounded the corner with a worried look plastered onto his face, Regina cringed. He stepped over to David, who had poked Snow in order to wake the sleeping brunette. “I’m afraid things aren’t looking so good. She has slipped into a coma and we fear that, due to her extreme blood loss that she may not wake. There is a chance that she will come to, but they are unlikely. We can allow for you two, Henry and…” Gesturing to Regina with a harsh look on his face, “…her…to come in and say goodnight, as it may well be her last. So, if you will follow me, right this way.” Hand in hand, the Charmings stood and slowly followed to Doctor.

Regina couldn’t comprehend what had just been said, so it took a few second for her to respond, but she had to stay composed for Henry’s sake, “Henry? Come on wake up now.” She earned a grunt from the small child, “We have to go and wish Emma a good night.”

“Is she awake!” The hope was evident in the boy’s eyes, making it all the more painful for Regina to tell him, “I’m afraid not, but we can go in and say goodnight for now.” She managed to force a fake smile as she lifted the boy off her and stood, grabbing his hand and following the three adults up ahead.

After walking through a few corridors and making a few turns, the group reached Emma’s room. They all peeked through the window and their faces dropped as they saw the pale, sleeping blonde on the other side of the glass. Whale held the door open and they walked in one by one, Snow then David then Henry, but Whale stopped Regina with his arm, “Family first.” Regina looked up into his eyes and saw the same anger that she had witnessed on the day that the curse had been broken, when he came to her house with the first of many angry mobs. Scoffing, the brunette watched as Whale closed the door right in her face.

She had tried so hard to redeem herself and prove to this town that she is not the Evil Queen anymore, and the only adult that seemed to believe her was now in a com. Sighing, she watched as the Charmings and Henry said goodbye. After 10 minutes or so the door swung open and everyone left the room, including Dr. Whale, allowing Regina to be alone with Emma.

The older woman, after shutting the door, walked slowly over to where the blonde lay. She sat on the arm chair next to Emma, bringing her feet up to rest them on the frame of the bed. She shivered, realizing how cold it was, as she reached out and took Emma’s clammy hand into her own. Regina rubbed soothing circles on the palm of Emma’s hand as she whispered to the blonde, “Emma? I know you can’t hear me, so I feel quite ridiculous trying to talk to you right now. I probably look like such a fool speaking to a person that is in a coma…” She let out a long and sad sigh, “…and that’s probably where you would make a smart ass quip about how I need to stop being so rigid and I would scoff and tell you how I am the Mayor and I don’t have time for such lower class activities. Then we would share a look filled with mock hatred, you would laugh and walk away and I would smile at the back of your head because secretly, I enjoyed your humor, as ludicrous as it was…and… I’m still talking to a sleeping person.” Exhaling, she combed her empty hand through her hair remembering all the times that Emma had frustrated her and yet she was so drawn to the blonde. She subconsciously smiled at the memories while staring at Emma’s face. The realization that this could be the last time that she would ever see the blonde suddenly hit Regina like a brick wall. Tears began to fall from her tired eyes, “E-Emma…I still feel ridiculous but… I know that you are a fighter, so right now you have to use any strength that you have left to get through this. I know you think you wont be missed or that you aren’t worth being here, but Emma you’re worth it to me. You were the only one who believed in me so now it’s my turn to believe in you. I believe that you will make it through this!” Looking down at the younger woman she cupped Emma’s cold, pale cheek with her hand and sighed. Through heavy sobs she spoke her last words to the blonde, “Goodbye Emma…I-I really do love you.” With that, she brought Emma’s hand up to her lips and pressed them to the blonde’s knuckles. She so desperately wanted to kiss the younger woman’s lips, but thought better of it, knowing that there were eyes watching her every move.

David had taken Henry home and Whale had returned to his office a little further down the hall, leaving Mary Margaret outside Emma’s room. She watched as Regina said her goodbyes and couldn’t help the sad smile that played upon her lips. She thought about how she had treated the older woman recently and felt ashamed and guilty. The brunette in the room before her was far from the evil woman from her past. Realizing that it was her own fault that Regina had begun her journey in becoming the Evil Queen, Snow’s eyes began to water. She was pulled from her train of thought as she saw Regina stand, releasing Emma’s hand as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her black coat.

Regina exited the room, immediately noticing the absence of the boys and then seeing Mary Margaret’s glassy eyes. The older woman exhaled a long, shaky breath before speaking, “Where is my son?”

“David took Henry back to my place. R-Regina?”

“What is it Ms. Blanchard?”

“I-I’m sorry…for not keeping your secret when I was a child. I was young and stupid and it was wrong of me to tell your mother. A-Also…I’m sorry for the way I have been treating you recently. Watching you with Emma just now…I can see the woman who once saved my life. I can see why Emma had faith in you.” Regina searched Mary Margaret’s eyes and they looked sincere. The older woman half smiled and nodded, not knowing what to say, before walking past the younger woman and back into the waiting room.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

For the next four days, Regina remained in that waiting room. She relied on bottled water and confectionary from vending machines to keep her going. On a lounge chair with a blanket and pillow, brought in by Mary Margaret, Regina would only get a few hours of sleep each night, before waking up and crying in a sweaty mess. She would sometimes wake up to the comforting arms of her son or a kind smile from David, but more often than not she was alone.

Dr. Whale had informed her that she was not to visit Miss Swan, as that was a privilege given only to family members. At first, Regina had argued that she is still the Mayor and she has visiting rights, but Whale was stubborn. She backed down, not wanting to give the doctor any more reasons to despise her. However, on the fourth night, Regina had had enough. She needed to see Emma one last time. So that evening she waited until it was late, and there was only one nurse at the desk for the night shift. For what seemed like a lifetime, she pretended to sleep while she waited for the perfect opportunity. It came when the nurse at the desk left to make herself a cup of coffee, which gave Regina all the time required to sneak past and make her way to Emma’s room without being seen.

She gently opened the door, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the younger woman. The only noise in the room was the steady beep of the heart monitor on the far side of the hospital bed. Pulling up a chair and siting next to the blonde, Regina closed her eyes and listened to the beeps from the machine. In a weird way, they comforted the brunette because she was technically listening to Emma’s heartbeat.

Regina’s mind relaxed for the first time in four days, as she fell asleep. She was never a heavy sleeper. Not since Henry came about. When he was little, and even now, the slightest murmur and she would be awake, checking to see if he was okay. Regina is a very light sleeper.

So when the comforting, pulsing beeps of Emma’s heart monitor transitioned into one, long, loud beep, as it flat-lined, Regina’s eyes shot wide open.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry for the late update!!! I've been packing for my cruise...which is leaving today...so I wrote this chapter in literally like three hours on the way to the ship...so PLS DONT JUDGE IF ITS BAD.

\---Regina's mind relaxed for the first time in four days, as she fell asleep. She was never a heavy sleeper. Not since Henry came about. When he was little, and even now, the slightest murmur and she would be awake, checking to see if he was okay. Regina is a very light sleeper.

So when the comforting, pulsing beeps of Emma's heart monitor transitioned into one, long, loud beep, as it flat-lined, Regina's eyes shot wide open. ---  
-  
-  
Panicking, Regina shot up into a standing position and slightly waved her wrist, flicking the light switch on. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the new blinding brightness coming from the ceiling, but she forced her eyes open and looked down at the body laying on the hospital bed. Her jaw hung slack at what she saw before her.

"What the hell...." Confusion painted Emma's face as she continued to frantically yank out any tubes and wires that were connected to her.

"E-Emma! You're awake! The machine...it flat lined! I thought you were gone!" Regina placed her hands on the edge of the bed and let her head hang limp, releasing a shaky breath. She turned her head towards the blonde, who was still furiously battling with a wire, smiling as her eyes filled with tears. She suddenly became nervous, remembering what had happened on the night of Emma's incident and wondering how she would react. 

"What the hell!" Emma repeated her words with more confusion and frustration, snapping her head up to look at Regina. "What the hell did you do?! Oh my god. You would totally do something like this wouldn't you?!"

"W-what?" Regina was searching the blonde's deep green orbs and found that they were not as soft and warm as usual. 

"What do you mean what?! It's all true isn't it! What Henry has been telling me about his book, about the fairytale characters, about you! What the hell is wrong with you! I said I was leaving! Why couldn't you just let me go? NO! You had to put my son in danger?!" Emma moved to raise her arms but flinched at the sudden sharp pain in her wrists. She looked down to see the healing wounds and then back up to glare at Regina, who had a confused expression plastered on her face. "Oh you've gotta be kidding me. What the hell happened? Did the curse do this? Did you do this? Oh my god. You did this! You tried to kill me with that stupid thing that Henry ate, but that didn't work so you've come here to finish the job." Emma sighed and fell back and rested her head against the pillow, still glaring at the older woman. 

"Emma...what are you talking about?"   
Regina's pleading tone just frustrated the younger woman more. "Don't you dare play dumb with me, Your Majesty! The curse that you enacted! The one that I just broke by kissing Henry..." Emma's face suddenly became worried, "Henry! Where is he! Is he okay?!" 

"Okay Emma! Please calm down! You need to listen to me-" Emma cut her off, "Or what? You'll use your evil magic to kill me? You already tried that, sister." The younger woman smirked at the brunette, but when she saw soft brown eyes watching her with what looked like sincerity, she closed her mouth to listen. 

"Henry is fine. He has been for...quite some time now. Emma? Do you know what the date is?" Regina watched Emma's mouth open and close and her face scrunched up as she forced her brain to think, but she came up dry, "Sure, it's...it's...well...why does that matter!? It's the day that I broke your stupid curse! What does the date have to do with anything?" 

"Emma, it's June."

"Cool. Thanks for that one Regina."

"No, Emma, you broke the curse at the beginning of March."

"Wait...what?"

Regina slid forward in her chair and placed a hand on the bed next to the younger woman's leg, "Emma, you broke the curse four months ago."

Emma's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to process what Regina was telling her. She tried to say something but her throat was dry. She swallowed a few times before she was able to speak, "If this is some evil manipulation trick-"  
"No! Emma I swear it's the truth!"

Emma sighed, "W-What happened to me?"

Regina's eyes fell to the floor and she hesitated. "Regina! What the hell happened to me?!"

"Look at your wrists closer..."

Emma was confused. She raised her wrists and examined them. Her eyes squinted with concentration, and Regina saw a flash of recognition cross the green orbs, "No...Oh god no! W-why would I?! Why don't I remember WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, REGINA! GET OUT! SOMEONE GET HER OUT!"

Emma screamed and yelled and thrashed about in an attempt to get out of the bed. Regina quickly stood to try and calm the blonde, copping a few stray punches on her arms. Apparently Emma's screams were heard because Regina suddenly felt a strong hand grip her forearm and tear her from the room. Whale spun her around, "Regina! You aren't family. Get out of here!" 

Regina chanced one last glance at the blonde through the window but regretted it immediately. She watched as Emma struggled and writhed under the firm hands of three nurses while they held her down. Whale had jabbed a needle into her arm and in a few moments, Emma was sedated. She was gone again. 

Tears fell from the brunette's eyes as she briskly walked through the hallways. The could barely see through the film of tears and her legs felt like led. As she rounded a corner she smashed straight into Mary Margaret, "Regina! I got a call from a nurse and got here as quickly as I could! Emma is awake! She's...Regina? What's wrong? What happened?!" 

The older woman's breathing was rapid and she tried to form words, but all that came out was a whisper. She cleared her throat by coughing and looked at the younger woman, "Emma...she woke up...and s-she doesn't remember. She hates me again and she doesn't remember! Any of it!" Before Snow could even think about responding, a purple mist appeared and then evaporated, taking Regina with it.  
-  
-  
A few days later, things had settled down. Emma was still in hospital but Whale had explained to everyone that the memory loss was due to the amount of blood that she had lost, and also the amount of time her brain went without oxygen. He told Emma that some of her memories may return over the next few weeks, most likely as dreams. 

David and Mary Margaret took Henry to visit her every day for the next week. Regina, however, had not visited. She wanted to give Emma at least that week, just to settle down a little. But after that week, Regina decided she needed to see her. She wanted to try and clear some things up, like how she isn't the Evil Queen anymore and how she and Emma had actually become friends. 

So, exactly one week from the night that Emma woke up, Regina made her way over to the hospital at around 9pm, hoping that she would get to be alone with the younger woman. 

When she reached the doors to the hospital, she walked straight in and past the nurses desk. The nurse stood in protest saying something about "family only", but with a stone cold glare from Regina, the nurse sat down without another word. She worked her way through the hallways until she found Emma's room. She knocked on the hard wooden door before entering, finding the blonde sitting up in bed, glaring in her direction. "What the hell are you doing here?" 

"Emma. We need to talk." She walked to the end of the bed, keeping eye contact with the younger woman, who raised an eyebrow. "You need to know that a lot of time has passed since you broke that curse. A lot of things happened and I am not the woman that you remember." 

Emma looked into Regina's sincere eyes and then sighed. Her features hardened but her eyes remained sad, "The thing is, I don't remember any of it. So what you just said means nothing to me. In my eyes, it's not real. To me, you are just as evil as you were when you tried to put me under that curse...Henry told me it was a sleeping curse. So no matter what you say to me right now, my memories are gone and when I think of you only one word comes to mind. Evil. So I think it's best if you leave me alone and don't come back."

Regina's mouth hung open in shock. "B-but Emma! I came to try and clear things up and-" 

"No! Regina, you don't get to talk. I'm done listening to you. Also, I don't want you seeing Henry anymore. He doesn't need someone like you near him, poisoning his mind with evil."

Regina's eyes filled with tears as she felt her heart crack. She watched the blonde, whose eyes were filled with hate. She could almost feel her walls rebuilding themselves. The walls that she had let down for this woman, who now hated her again. A short sharp, "fine" was all she could manage to say, before a purple mist carried her back to her home where she paced in her room, letting sadness and anger bubble inside of her until it took over.   
-  
-  
Another week later and Emma had been discharged from the hospital. She was back in Mary Margaret's flat making herself comfortable. David and Snow had filled her in on most of what happened over the few months that had been erased from her memory, leaving out any mention of why Emma did what she did and Regina's name wasn't spoken at all. 

"Mary Margaret?" Emma walked into the living room to find her mother and sat down next to her on the lounge.   
"Yes Emma?"   
"I was wondering if you left anything out? Both you and David...even Henry...you are all walking around with worried looks on your faces every time you see me. As if your waiting for me to say something?"   
A worried look played upon Snow's face before she covered it up with a smile, "Of course not! We all just want you to be happy." 

With that, Emma smiled an unsure smile before getting up and making her way upstairs to her room. She sighed as she lay on her bed, thinking about all the gaps in her memory. She wondered what Regina had meant when she said that she wasn't the same woman. Emma's eyes closed and soon she was asleep, with the last thought on her mind being Regina's sincere eyes. She couldn't help the feeling that she had seen them on more occasions, but couldn't think of when that was.   
-  
She only slept for an hour before she woke up crying and sweating. She had woken up from a dream of the first time that she saved Regina from an angry mob. She knew it was a memory. It had to be. The way she had to pry Whale off Regina...it felt so real. She lay back down with a huff, not wanting to believe that she had actually saved Regina, not after all she had done. Not before too long she was dreaming again.

Over the next week, Emma had woken up at least once every night, sometimes even twice, with a new recollection of memories. Always out of breath and crying. But on this particular night, she woke up crying but she couldn't help but smile. The past few days she was able to brush off the memories of Regina, without even a second thought. But not this time. It was 6am and she had woken up with the memory of Regina and herself in the kitchen one day, seated on the floor in amongst smashed glass and orange juice. Emma had her head resting on Regina's thigh as the older woman brushed through blonde locks with her fingers. 

Emma smiled as she crept downstairs as quietly as she could, so she didn't wake the three other sleeping bodies in the house. Tiptoeing around the island bench, Emma gazed at the floor where she and a certain woman had once sat. The blonde could almost hear Regina's soothing voice and she could almost feel her comforting touch. 

She growled at herself, suddenly becoming angry at the way she had treated the brunette at the hospital. She pulled out her phone and dialled a number, which she was surprised that she knew off by heart. She tried to call Regina three times but when no one answered she gave up. 

Little did she know, across the other side of town in a large white house, a sleep deprived brunette watched her phone ring. Then ring again. And once more. She almost answered Emma's third call but decided that she didn't particularly feel like being yelled at this morning.

So both women just went about their days as usual.   
-  
-  
~~"Emma don't you dare say that! You don't need a way out of this. You need a way through it! I don't care how long it takes! We will get through this! You are worth more than you could ever know, Emma, and you are perfect the way you are. You are perfect as you....."~~

Emma woke up in a cold sweat. She had indented on resting her head on her desk for a few moments, but the small puddle of drool on her paperwork proved that she had slept for a while. She closed her eyes again and thought of the memory she had just re-lived. It was right here, at this desk. Regina had come to find her for some reason and her words...they were so sincere and kind. She remembered herself saying that she didn't think there was any other way out. She slammed her fist on the desk, "A way out of what!" 

"Are you talking to yourself Emma?" David rounded the corner and entered the station just behind where Emma was sitting. She stood, not even looking at him, before turning and walking out the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, "I don't feel well. Can I have the rest of the day off?" She didn't wait for David to reply before leaving. She went straight home and was pleased to find it empty. 

Emma scratched her head, paced the living room, made hot coco and even went for a run. But nothing could distract her mind from all of these gradual memories returning to her, painting a whole new image of Regina in her brain. A guilt bubbled in the pit of her stomach as thought about how she told the brunette to leave her and Henry alone. Picking up the phone she dialled Regina's number and called. When no one answered the threw it onto the lounge and sat down beside it, glancing at it every now and again hoping for it to suddenly light up and buzz with an incoming call. She waited for a good two hours before giving up. 

Henry, Mary Margaret and David had return from their daily activities and dinner had been finished. Emma was in a bad mood so she decided it was best if she crashed early.

She wandered up the stairs and dove into bed. As she turned off the light, she hoped that more good memories would return to her, but when she woke up a few hours later feeling like her heart had been wrenched out of her body, she knew that she didn't want these memories back.   
-  
-  
Regina had checked her phone before she went to bed, noticing she had a missed call from Emma. Sighing, she put the phone on charge and changed into her grey, silk pyjamas. She slipped into bed, wondering why Emma would be calling her. She yawned while she made herself comfortable in her expensive bed. 

Her eyes slipped shut as she fell asleep. She had only found a few hours of shut eye when a faint knock on the door woke her. Initially she thought it may have been the wind, but when another three knocks occurred she sat up with confusion. Her alarm clock read 4:36am. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Regina got up and wrapped a robe around her before exiting her bedroom and descending the stairs. Who on earth was knocking at her door at this time of day?! 

As she made her way to the door she grumbled under her breath. It was 4:40am on a Saturday morning and she was up answering someone foolish enough to wake her. She reached up, turned the door nob and swung the door open. She stiffened when she saw who was there. 

"Emma?"

The younger woman kept her eyes locked on her own feet, refusing to meet Regina's cold glare. 

"Emma! What do you think you're doing! It's almost 5am and you're knocking on my door!" Regina knew her tone was harsh but at this point she didn't particularly care, "Why are you here this early in the morning..." Her tone softened when she noticed the blonde's attire, "...in shorts...a singlet...and that flimsy jacket! And where are your shoes? Where is your car?! Emma, did you walk to my house with no shoes on?!" Regina's questions were cut short then the younger woman finally looked up. Her cheeks were blotchy and her nose was red and running. There were streams of tears running down her cheeks and she sniffled before speaking, "R-Regina..." Her eyes fell to the floor again. 

Regina instinctively took a step towards the blonde. Her heart ached seeing the younger woman like this, "What happened, Emma?"

She lifted her head so that deep chocolate eyes met sad green ones, "Regina...I remember why I tried to..." A loud sob escaped her throat forcing her to take a deep breath before continuing, 

 

"I remember why I did it. I remember why I wanted to die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so that was the chapter. Sorry if it's shorter than usual!! Im literally sitting on the cruise ship finishing it so sorry if there are mistakes and crap. The ship could leave at any second and there will be no internet. 
> 
> So...sorry if it didn't make sense. Since I wrote it in a few hours I couldn't put as much detail into it as I really wanted to but I will put heaps more into the next chapter. Next chapter will hopefully be more fluff :) anyways so in this chapter Emma is getting her memories back in the form of dreams (one of the dreams where there was a quote with the "~~", that was in her dream) and so at the end she actually remembered why she tried to kill herself. So we will just have to wait till next chapter to find out exactly what part of it she remembers.
> 
> sorry that its a mess! 
> 
> next update should be on the 15th!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it has been a while. This chapter doesn't really have any purpose but I had already started writing it. I have an extremely vague idea of where this fic is going, nothing solid yet. I'm so sorry that it has taken me forever to update. I just really haven't been feeling up to it. BUT now I'm in a writing mood. So here you have a pointless chapter with some fluff. Major fluff to come in the next chapter. Will update soon.

_"Miss Sawn! What do you think you're doing! It's almost 5am and you're knocking on my door!" Regina knew her tone was harsh but at this point she didn't particularly care, "Why are you here this early in the morning..." Her tone softened when she noticed the blonde's attire, "...in shorts...a singlet...and that flimsy jacket! And where are your shoes? Where is your car?! Emma, did you walk to my house with no shoes on?!" Regina's questions were cut short then the younger woman finally looked up. Her cheeks were blotchy and her nose was red and running. There were streams of tears creating glistening paths down her cheeks and she sniffled before speaking, "R-Regina..." Her eyes fell to the floor again._

_The older woman instinctively took a small step towards the blonde, wanting nothing more than to comfort the sobbing woman. She could feel a real pain in her heart seeing the blonde like this, "What happened, Emma?"_

_She lifted her head so that warm chocolate eyes met sad pools of green, "Regina...I remember why I tried to..." A loud sob escaped her throat forcing her to take a deep breath before continuing,_

_"I remember why I did it. I remember why I wanted to die."_

 

* * *

 

 Emma shifted from one foot to the other and flopped her arms to rest beside her, suddenly finding something particularly interesting about her shoes, “I…I have been having these dreams, but they aren’t really dreams, they are memories and you have been in them but anyway, I had a dream…but not really a dream, a memory…about how much Mary Margaret, David and I were fighting and all the pressure of being a savior and protecting you…and I knew it! I knew they weren’t telling me something because they have been giving me these weird looks and when I woke up from the dream I didn’t know what to do or where to go and I wanted to call you but I knew you wouldn’t answer and I just couldn’t take the silence anymore so I went for a walk and I ended up here but…but…you hate me…”

 

Regina was in shock as she tried to comprehend the jumble of words being mumbled at her, “Emma.” She tried to get the blonde’s attention but the younger woman wasn’t listening. She stared at her hands continued to ramble, “You…oh my god…you. At the back of my mind I knew something wasn’t right…that something was missing and then I remembered some things and I called you but you didn’t answer and that was because I was so rude…”

 

“Emma.” Regina tried to snap the younger woman out of her daze but failed again. Her eyes widened as she watched the blonde become more and more frantic with every word that she spoke in between sniffles and sobs, “I woke up in hospital and I was mean to you and I feel so guilty about how I treated you…and…and I didn’t even give you a chance and I took Henry away from you which is exactly what you were afraid of in the first place and you have been avoiding me and I called you…I called you ‘evil’ and now you hate me and I-”

 

Regina took another step towards Emma and placed her hands on violently shaking shoulders, determined to get the crying woman’s attention, she spoke in a firm voice, “Miss Swan!”

 

Emma stopped immediately when she felt the weight of Regina’s hands. She looked up meeting the older woman’s gaze and an ugly sob clawed its way out of her throat as she saw sincere and pained eyes staring back. She was so overwhelmed and even though she knew she had so much to say to the brunette, all she could manage to do now was shake her head and attempt to form words that weren’t gibberish. Her mouth opened and closed a few times but the only words that she could manage to say was ‘I’m sorry’, over and over again in a croaky voice that was barely audible.

 

Regina could feel the pain oozing off the other woman and she couldn’t bare it anymore. She let out an extended sigh, “Oh, Emma.” She slid her hands off of Emma’s shoulders and let them snake around to rest in between the younger woman’s shoulder blades as she encompassed the younger woman in a warm embrace. For a moment, Emma tensed and tried to pull away, but strong arms held her in place and gave her a light-reassuring squeeze. Regina felt the younger woman’s muscles relax and she let her cry into her shoulder for what felt like an eternity, allowing salty droplets of Emma’s tears soak the expensive fabric covering her collarbone.

 

When Regina felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end as an icy breeze flew by, she released Emma, who had managed to halt her crying. She looked the pale woman up and down, again noticing the lack of clothing. She smoothed down invisible creases in her silky shirt and cleared her throat awkwardly, remembering how the younger woman had forgotten how close they had become over the past few months. She took a sideways step, allowing a gap in the doorway to appear and motioned with her hand for the younger woman to enter, “Miss Swan, do come inside.”

 

“Regina I-”, Emma began to protest, but in one swift movement, the brunette wrapped a soft hand around the younger woman’s wrist and pulled her through the door.

 

 

Once through the threshold, Regina released the cold and frail wrist from her grip and noticed how it fell to Emma’s side as though it was heavy as led. Noting how unresponsive the other woman had become, who was now simply staring at the floor with glassy eyes, Regina knew she needed to warm her up. She hurriedly made her way to the stairs, glancing over her shoulder just in time to catch a sharp reaction from the blonde.

 

Emma felt weak and a little hazy but at the absence of the Mayor’s hand around her wrist and the distance now between them, her head snapped up and her eyes widened. The sudden movement took the brunette by surprise. She stopped in her tracks, having already made it up two steps, and faced the visibly shivering blonde.

 

“W-where are you going?”

 

Emma Swan, by her own self-imposed principles, does not need anyone. That was how she had survived all her life. She was in charge of her own survival. That was how it had always been and it served her well. She most definitely did not need anyone. She couldn’t possibly need anyone. But there was something about Regina. Something about the tickling sensation at the back of her brain, telling her that there is something more to this. Something she’s not remembering. She cant exactly place it, but right now, for the first time that she could remember, for some reason, she didn’t want to be alone. She looked back towards the floor, avoiding the sympathetic stare from the older woman and mentally scolded herself for sounding so needy.

 

Regina could almost see the internal battle happening behind the younger woman’s eyes before they lost contact with hers and fell to the ground. Something was terribly wrong. This wasn’t the usual hotheaded Emma Swan that Regina found so insufferable and yet wildly endearing. No, this was a completely different person standing before the her, “Emma, I’m just going upstairs for two minutes to fetch you something warm to put on over your ghastly apparel. I will come straight back. Go and get comfortable in the living room and then we shall discuss matters further.”

 

When the brunette was out of sight Emma released a deep sigh and hazily made her way through the doorway to her left, shivering slightly as she stood in the middle of the large room. She felt so out of place here, in amongst all of the expensive furniture and décor. She felt as though someone like her didn’t belong here, so as she looked around at the at the options, she didn’t dare sit down on any of the lounges, simply because she feared what the woman upstairs might say if she were to dirty such pristine leather with her dirty clothes and dirty past. Instead, she remained in one spot; slightly swaying side to side as she let her thoughts consume her.

 

She wondered how this had all started. Her memories were still so fuzzy, only allowing her to remember bits and pieces. When had she started feeling so…so numb? And empty, as if there is a hole inside of her somewhere that she had never before paid any attention to. Not until coming to Storybrooke. She was supposed to bring back happy endings and instead she brought on her own misery. A misery, she concluded, that she needs to deal with alone. Alone. Emma’s eyes widened, as if she had just woken up and realised where she was standing.

 

_‘Alone! But I’m not alone!’_

 

Her mind started screaming at her, _‘What the hell are you doing here! You’re in the Evil Queen’s house! She’s going to come down any second and expect you to tell her why you’re here. Why are you here?!’_. She couldn’t get her mind to stop. She could almost hear the voices echoing inside of her skull and they wouldn’t shut up, ‘ _Emma, you need to get out. You need to run away while you still can. You need to get out of this house, this town, this life. Emma, go! Run Emma! Emma, run! Emma!....Emma!.....’_

 

“Emma?”

 

The velvety sound of Regina calling her name suddenly ripped her from her thoughts and caused her visibly jump out of fright, wide eyes and in obvious state of panic.

“Emma, are you okay?”

 

The blonde’s eyes met chocolate ones staring intently at her own, “I...uh, yeah I’m…” She trailed off as her mind began to scream at her again. She was so distracted and didn’t notice how Regina had moved until a hand was placed tentatively on her forearm, causing her to awaken from her stupor. “Emma, stop it.”

 

The younger woman’s brows furrowed in confusion and she shook her head, “Stop what?” Regina removed her hand from the other woman’s arm to readjust the small bundle of clothes balancing on the palm of her left hand, “Stop…thinking like that. I’m no mind reader, however I’m not blind, Emma. Whatever you are thinking, whatever negativity is going on in that empty head of yours…stop. Take a deep breath. You are here, and you’re freezing to death. I wouldn’t appreciate having to deal with you when you get hypothermia and collapse on my floor, so go and get changed out of what you consider appropriate sleep wear for nights as cold as this and then we can sit and talk. Or we can just sit in silence. Or perhaps a drink or two will calm your nerves and you can just tell me what’s bothering you.” The brunette emphasized her point by shoving the pile of clothes into the younger woman’s arms and gesturing towards the bathroom.

 

“W-why…”

 

Regina’s eyebrows rose at the blonde’s unfinished question, urging her to continue.

 

The blonde sniffed before continuing, “Why are you being so…w-why are you doing all…this”, Emma raised the clothes in her hands. Understanding flashed through brown orbs, “Like I told you at the hospital, a lot has changed, Emma.” The younger woman thought for a moment before dropping her head as she tried to hide her obvious grin. Regina immediately folded her arms, an automatic defense to the fear of rejection. An icy tinge was laced in her voice when she spoke, “And what, may I ask, is so funny about that.”

 

The younger woman looked up with a shy smile, “I’ve noticed…y-you keep calling me ‘Emma’…it’s just…I don’t know…nice?” Regina visibly relaxed, a small smile graced her features even as she rolled her eyes at the blonde, “It is your name, is it not? I could revert to ‘Miss Swan’ if you’d prefer. Or Sheriff-”

 

“No!”

 

Regina’s eyes widened at the volume at which the younger woman had spoke. She placed a hand on her hip and raised a single questioning eyebrow at interruption.

 

“Oh, I mean…no thank you Madame Mayor, Your Majesty, Sir.” With a mock military salute and a shy smile, Emma watched as the older woman scoffed while rolling her eyes. Manicured fingers pointed to door a little more than halfway down the adjacent hallway. Following the direction of the gesture, with a little more energy than before, Emma made her way through the hall.

 

Regina watched the blonde exit and waited. She cringed when she heard the familiar squeak of the linen cupboard door, echoing through the house. She sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, “The _other_ door, Emma. That’s a cupboard.”

 

The younger woman could almost see the Regina’s smug face, “Yeah, yeah. I got it.”

She finally found the correct door and slipped into the bathroom. As she examined the small tiled room, she became lost in the whole idea that she was standing in Regina’s house and she was welcomed with open arms…literally. A small smile graced thin lips as she remembered the warmth associated with the older woman’s embrace. But that smile vanished almost quickly as it had appeared as soon as she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Shadows beneath her red, puffy tear stricken eyes, hair an absolute mess and wet patches covering the neck and sleeves of her impromptu tissue. She looked horrendous. She looked atrocious. She looked damaged. She did not want to look like this in front of Regina. She didn’t want to look like a weak mess in the presence of such a strong and neatly held woman, so she combed her hair out with her fingers the best she could. Splashed her face with ice cold water and blew her nose. The blonde then dressed herself in the silk pajama pants and the long sleeve black shirt that had the faintest smell of apples and cinnamon. Finally, after pulling on a pair of warm socks she checked herself once again in the mirror. She nodded in approval and practiced a fake smile. She would not break down again. Not now. Not ever. Determined, she exited the bathroom and headed back towards the lounge room.

 

Emma rounded the corner, head held high with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you for your hospitality, Madame Mayor, but I…” The blonde took in the scene, unable to speak. Sitting on the small table just in front of the lounge chair, were two glasses of what looked to be apple cider. In between the two glasses sat a few photos that Emma could not properly see from the angle at which she was standing. The fireplace was now alive with glowing flames. And finally, there was Regina, seated on the leather lounge, wrapped up in the biggest and most warm looking blanket Emma had ever seen. She tried to stay strong and hold her hard front in place, “Regina…It’s…it’s late and y-you…” As Emma tried her hardest to stay composed, the brunette gazed at her with warm and knowing eyes, lifting up a corner of the blanket and patting the space next to her. At this simple gesture, the younger woman cracked, a strangled sob escaping her throat, smile dissipating from her face. Threatening tears stung her eyes as she took a hesitant half step towards the lounge.

 

Regina could sense the blonde’s unease and patted the smooth leather again, this time raising her eyebrows and tilting her head in question. “I don’t bite Miss Swan. Come. Sit. Drink. Talk”

 

Defeated, the younger woman sat down on the soft leather and sunk into the seat, leaving a foot or so in-between herself and the other woman, who tossed half of the large blanket so it covered slim, silk covered limbs. The blonde picked up her drink, sloshing the liquid around for a moment before glancing up at the other woman with confusion.

 

Rolling her eyes, Regina plucked her glass off the coffee table and took a large gulp reveling in the way the liquid burned her throat, the grogginess of sleep long gone. “See. No poison. If I wanted you dead, Miss Swan, you would know about it.”

 

Emma took a sip of the liquid and glanced at Regina over the rim of the glass, “That’s not what…that’s not why I…I mean.  You are just being so…I don’t remember you being so…stop looking at me like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like I’m an idiot.”

 

“Well you are. Stop rambling, it frustrates me.” Completely missing the playful tone in the older woman’s voice, Emma smacked her glass if liquor onto the wooden surface and she snapped, “Yeah well you know what frustrates me, Regina! What frustrates me is fact that I have a massive blank space in my brain. A stupid brain that has forgotten major details, like what I did to make my parents yell at me all the time. The same messed up brain that tells me that you are still the person who tried to run me out of town and poison me. It’s telling me that you loathe me and when you smile at me it isn’t genuine. It’s devious and behind it is a dark scheme to get rid of me. But here I am and here you are and I’m clearly not dead. Why am I not dead yet? Why haven’t you killed me! Wait…no. That’s not you anymore. But I can’t remember that. But I do remember some parts. But were they just dreams? Is all this just a dream? Am I dead? Is this-”

 

The younger woman’s rambling was interrupted by a stern voice, “Emma. Stop that. You’re going to hurt yourself if you think too much. Just take a deep breath, count to ten, scull that whole glass of cider. I don’t care what method you decide. Just calm yourself down.”

 

Once her glass had been emptied, twice, Emma felt a little more relaxed. “Sorry about that.”

 

Sighing, Regina placed the now empty bottle of cider onto the table and smoothed out creases in her silk pajama pants, “It’s quite alright.” She turned her body slightly to face Emma, “Now. At the door you were talking very fast and you were crying just a tad but I managed to make out the majority of what you said. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you said that I hate you. Let me just clear that up for you. Emma Swan, I do not hate you. You may get on my very last nerve with your insufferable demeanor and questionable vocabulary, but I wouldn’t go as far as hate. I ignored your phone calls to give you the space you wanted. Okay?”

 

All the other woman could do was nod in silence and soak up this new information, which had been spoken with such sincerity that her lie detector didn’t even need to be used.

 

Regina continued, “You also mentioned dreams? Doctor Whale said that this might occur. That your memories may return to you in the form of dreams, so if that is what you have been experiencing then I assume this is a good thing, no?”

 

Emma sniffled before speaking, “I guess its good. But it’s not the same. I know they are memories but I can’t feel them. I can see them happening and I know deep down that they are real, but I can’t feel the emotions that I know I once did. I can see the emotions written all over my face, like they are right there, but I can never reach them. I feel nothing. I’ve remembered some of the major events, like when I found out that my foster father had died and the fights with Mary Margaret, but I never remember the smaller details. Small things, you know? A simple wave from Ruby as I pass the diner, or a hug from Henry, or even a smile from…someone I care about. They can change everything. The gap memories that fill the time between major events in my life, they may seem insignificant but it’s the small things that matter and I have forgotten them all.”

 

Regina couldn’t help the tears that slipped from her eyes. She saw how the younger woman also had wet cheeks. She also saw how Emma’s pale fingers from her right hand had wrapped themselves around her left wrist, nails angrily digging into scarred flesh in reflection. Regina slid closer to the blonde and placed her own hand over Emma’s. “Look…I know nothing I say will bring those memories back, that is up to your own brain and it will take time. It must be so very painful and confusing and frustrating but you aren’t as alone as you think you are. I…I will, I can…” The older woman retracted her hand from its position over Emma’s, and combed it through her own hair while biting her bottom lip. Bringing her hand to her thigh with a slap and letting a deep breath she picked up a few photographs that she had placed on the table before the blonde had returned from the bathroom. Bringing her legs onto the lounge, she crossed them and fully faced the younger woman, who looked confused and yet hopeful.

 

“I can share some memories with you, if you wish. My own memories of course, but you are in them and I believe you would consider them gap memories. I can’t tell you how you felt, that is impossible because only you know that, but I-I can tell you…h-how I felt.” The silence that followed made Regina uneasy and her walls automatically came back up, “But then again they are my memories and they aren’t really any of your business and-” Emma quickly remembered how to speak, “No wait I’m sorry. I was just…you really have changed. You would share your own memories with me?”

 

Regina’s gaze fell to the objects in her hands and her thumb ran gently over the first photo, “I would.” Lifting her head to glance at the other woman once more she was met with a sincere smile and pools of green, expectant eyes. So she began, “Well, this is one of my favorites. It happened maybe a month after you broke the curse. Henry stayed with you during the week and he spent weekends with me-”

 

“What! Why? You’re his mother too! I’m so sorry-”   


Regina cleared her throat and raised her eyebrows; “If you interrupt me one more time, I stop telling my story and I send you back out into the cold from whence you came. Yes?” Emma held both of her palms up in a surrendering position, “Got it. Geez, sorry.”

 

Regina rolled her eyes but continued, looking back down to the photos in her hands, “Now, for the record, Henry was staying at yours due to safety reasons. You and I both wanted him clear of any angry mobs that were attacking me so I wanted him to stay with you. However, you insisted that it wasn’t fair, so we settled on him being at my place for weekends. Okay, so it was a month after you broke the curse. Saturday at around 1pm to be precise, and Henry and I were watching a movie together. Next thing I know, you show up at my front door and tell me you’re taking Henry out. Of course I was angry, as it was the only time I got to see him. After all, you had him all week. So yes, I was quite frustrated, but with all of the drama involving a certain broken curse, I didn’t feel up to fighting you about it. So I let you take Henry.” Regina brought her line of vision up to check that the blonde was listening and was met with a confused expression. Amused, she watched as Emma slowly raised her hand. “Really? This isn’t school Miss Swan. What is it?”

 

“Oh…I just. This doesn’t sound all that great…why is it your favorite?”

 

Inhaling a long, slow breath and releasing it through her nose, Regina deadpanned, “If you didn’t so rudely interrupt, maybe we can continue with the story and then you might find out why. Last chance.” Without even waiting for a response the brunette continued her story, “So, I let you take Henry and then I continued to watch the movie alone. That was until I heard a furious knocking on my door, a mere five minutes after you had left. I started to worry, thinking that it was a group of angry people out to kill me. I-I…I um. I knew you had left so I felt a little…uneasy with the idea of fighting off angry people alone. Since you showed up the very first time a mob attacked me, I have never had to fight one alone. So yes, I was a little worried. Anyway, I answer the door ready to throw a verbal fireball at whoever was behind my door, but when I opened it…there you were.

 

At first I was frustrated. You had already taken Henry, what else could you want? And then I noticed his absence. I asked you where the hell he was and then you started rambling, like you always do. You told me that he got into your death trap of a car, told you he didn’t feel well and then just passed out. So I slipped on the nearest pair of shoes and we ran out to the yellow contraption. I slid into the back seat beside Henry and the next thing I know, we are moving. You are driving us away and I look at you. You have that…that stupid grin on your face. Then I look down at Henry and he opened his eyes and had the same stupid grin on his face. You threw a duffle bag into my lap telling me to ‘put those on when we get there’. Miss Swan, to this day I have no idea how on earth you came to be in possession of my clothes, especially my swimsuit.”

 

Regina raised a single eyebrow at the younger woman, who in return blushed while shrugging.

 

“So, after you two barbarians kidnapped me, we arrived down at the beach. I left to change into the swimsuit, shorts and singlet you so…kindly retrieved for me. I came back to find the two of you on the sand with a blanket laid out and a picnic basket in the middle. So we sat and ate sandwiches, which were surprisingly healthy and delicious. Clearly not made by you or our son…” Regina paused for a moment, realizing her choice of words and how much she actually liked how it sounded. She continued quickly before the blonde could interrupt, “We ate sandwiches and crackers with dip and you had even packed some little cakes.

 

After eating we all went for a swim, Henry and yourself going in ridiculously deep, while I remained in up to only me knees. He must have your tolerance for freezing cold temperatures. I watched you two swim and I felt less angry. I suppose I felt more forgiving of the fact that you _kidnapped_ me, seeing as though I was having an enjoyable time.

 

After you had both finished swimming, you started a match of soccer, using shoes as goals. I don’t dabble in such things, so I sat and simply observed. The game had ended up a tie so Henry decided that a penalty shootout would solve the issue. You let him shoot first, but on his first shot he kicked the ball straight into your stomach and you came crashing to the ground. He ran to you, almost in tears that he had hurt his precious mommy. Next thing I saw was Henry being pulled to the ground and you both laughing and rolling around on the filthy sand.”

 

Pausing, Regina took a sip of her cider, deciding on whether or not she should include the fact that she had ran over to Emma when she had been hit with the ball. She thought about if she should include the part where she had been genuinely concerned and even a little frightened at the prospect of someone hurting Emma. She wondered if she should include the part when Emma had pulled her to the ground as well and how they had all burst into a fit of laughter. Or how Henry situated himself in between his two mothers, taking one hand from each woman in his own and how they lay like that for a long while, gazing at the stars before he fell asleep. Deciding against it, she simply modified the story, “I became tired so I lay down on the rug and soon you and Henry grew tired too. We all lay on the rug, looking up at the night sky dotted with the brightest and most beautiful stars I had seen in a long time.”

 

Watching the older woman getting lost in her memories was one of the most precious things Emma had ever seen. There was a sparkle in the deep chocolate orbs and a faint orange glow coming from the dancing flames on the wall behind Regina that made her look almost angelic. Emma zoned out for a moment, realizing, not for the first time, just how beautiful the brunette was. She then remembered that Regina was telling her a story and snapped herself out of her state and listened intently. “…so after he had fallen asleep, you carried him to the car while I carried the blanket and basket. You drove us to my place and gave Henry a piggyback up the stairs, which I tried telling you that it wasn’t safe, but you are very stubborn. You tucked him in and I watched from the doorway. I-I…didn’t feel angry. I didn’t feel like you were trying to steal him. I wasn’t jealous. I-I don’t really remember. I just know that I didn’t feel like throwing you through a window. And that’s it for the story I suppose. It’s not _that_ magnificent but it’s my favorite.”

 

Looking down at the photos that were still in her hands, she held them out for Emma, who took them and examined them. “I left my phone on the picnic rug and throughout the day a nice assortment of pictures were taken. These are the ones I decided to print.”

 

Emma looked through the small pile of photos. There was one of Henry and Regina building a sandcastle. She smiled and continued flicking through the photos. There was another one of Henry with Regina, this time they were sitting on the picnic rug. Henry sporting his famous pouty face and holding up a piece of cake covered in sand, while Regina had been captured mid laugh. Emma’s smile widened and she ran her thumb over the picture, wishing she could remember the sound of Regina’s laugh. The younger woman raised her head a little to sneak a look at the woman sitting across from her, who had her eyes glued to the photos. She looked back down and examined the last few photos. One was of Emma and Henry; the young boy was perched on top of the blonde’s shoulders, his hand stretched out towards the camera, showing the photographer a magnificent pink shell. He had a wide goofy grin on his face while Emma’s smile was shy but beautiful all the same, also directed at the person behind the camera. She handed the photo to Regina, “Can I have a copy of this?” The older woman’s eyes never left the picture, “Of course.”

 

Emma looked at the next photo and her smile grew impossibly wider, “This one too.” The picture was a selfie taken by Henry. He was in the middle, grinning from ear to ear, while Regina kissed his left cheek and Emma kissed his right.

 

Moving that photo to the coffee table, Emma was left with one more picture. She looked at it and frowned. She was in it and so was Regina. They were sitting next to each other, rather close in proximity. They were both oblivious to the fact that they were being photographed. Emma had something in her hand and was handing it to the brunette. “You printed this one?” Green pools bet dark orbs, “Yes…I-I suppose I did.” Emma tilted her head slightly in thought, “We were friends.” It was more of a statement than a question, but Regina answered anyway, “Yes. Something like that.”

 

Emma looked back down at the photo and squinted to try and make out the object that she was handing to Regina, “What am I giving you?” Even though she knew Emma wasn’t looking at her, she looked way feeling shy, “It’s just a seashell. You gave it to me and said that a long time ago someone told you that shells symbolize protection and that even though I probably didn’t need it, as long as I had it with me, I would be protected. Unfortunately, the shell fell out of my pocket the next day as I was walking with Henry. He accidently trod on it and it broke into tiny shards. I still have it though, wait here.”  Emma didn’t miss the fact that Regina had left out that particular scene out of the retelling of her memory or the fact that the older woman had taken the time to pick up the shattered pieces of shell to keep them.

 

She watched as the older woman got up and walked over to the fireplace and grabbed a small jar off the mantelpiece. Returning to the lounge, she sat and handed it over to Emma, who turned it over in her hands a few times, watching the slivers of shell slide around. She then handed it back, wiping her newly wet eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. She then noticed the clock on the wall; it read 6am. “Regina it’s so late…I mean early. The sun will be up really soon! I’m so sorry! I had better be going.” She stood to leave but was pulled back down by a hand on her wrist, “Wait, Emma. We didn’t really get to talk about…well you know. The fact that you remembered why you did…you know. And how will you get home?”

 

The blonde attempted to stand again, this time succeeding as Regina’s grip fell away, “It’s okay, we can talk some other time. If you want to that is. It’s pretty dumb. And I can just walk.” The older woman stood abruptly with a shocked expression plastered on her face, “Firstly, what happened is most defiantly not dumb. And second, I will not let you walk, bare foot all the way back to Snow’s apartment, especially not in my clothes, because I actually want these back. And I refuse to drive when I’m sleep deprived. It’s not safe.”

 

Emma sighed in frustration, “Well what do you want me to do Regina?” The brunette’s gaze fell on her fidgeting hands as she contemplated her answer. “I do have a guest bedroom. I wont let you go back outside into the cold at this hour. So you can either take my offer, or stand here until the sun comes up. Your choice.”

Without another word Regina headed towards the stairs, knowing she would be followed. She led Emma to the guest bedroom and opened the door, motioning for the younger woman to enter, “If you need anything just come and find me. I’m just across the hallway. I think you need a sleep in so don’t bother waking up for work. The ensuite is just through that door. I think that is all.” The brunette placed a hand on the younger woman’s bicep, “I-I am glad you came here today. I am glad you chose to talk to someone rather than choosing other options that I know must have been on your mind. Good night, Emma.” With that, Regina pulled the door closed and left the younger woman in darkness.

 

Emma looked around the room, examining her surroundings, before her eyes zeroed on a very enticing queen size bed. She slipped under the warm covers and drifted to sleep quite easily, only to wake a mere half hour later to the sounds of her own screams. She sat up straight, hot and sweaty, throat dry, cheeks wet and in a complete panic. She felt like all of the air was being squeezed out of her lunges as though her chest was caving in on itself. Her mind was screaming at her and she could hear her blood pumping around her skull. In almost complete darkness, she could only just make out the room around her and she broke the silence with five words that were barely audible,

 

“What am I doing here?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's been a while!! 
> 
> So quite a bit of dialogue in this chapter. Not much plot. Just a lot of SQ deep & meaningfuls. 
> 
> While writing the dialogue I was listening to a song by Missy Higgins (an amazing Australian artist) called "Cooling of the Embers". so ya'll should listen to it while reading it too :) ALSO I was listening to "Safe & Sound" by Taylor Swift. Especially at the end.
> 
> (also the metaphor used towards the end I took pretty much straight out of a Paramore song)

_It’s dark. There is a thin layer of fog covering the dank floor of the forest. A forest in which Emma can’t remember entering. Up ahead she sees a flash of purple fabric, immediately recognizing it as Regina’s. She only caught a glimpse before it disappeared around the thick trunk of the redwood. “Regina wait!” Emma ran after the other woman, her hot breaths visible in puffs of mist. Just when she thought she’d catch up to the woman ahead, she would disappear around a tree again and fade into darkness. After the three attempts of catching her, begging her to stop running, Emma came to a halt. Grabbing a fist full of her own hair she screamed up at the sky, which twisted and swirled making her feel queasy. She couldn’t pull her eyes from the sky. That was until she felt a gush of cool air brush past her, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Frantically searching for what just run past her she looked up ahead and squinted. Swearing she saw a grey and red striped scarf in the distance before it rounded a tree trunk, she took off. “Henry! Henry wait!” Chasing the shadow of a boy, she called out to him, pleading for him to come back. It went on for what seemed like hours. Days even. Chasing familiar figures through the woods, almost catching up, just within reach, but never enough. Reaching out but always a few inches away no matter how hard she tried. No matter how fast she ran or how loud she screamed she would always be left alone._

_As she rounded the next tree trunk she came to a clearing. It was quiet and she was alone. No Regina and no Henry. Emma wrapped her arms around herself, realizing how cold it was when an icy breeze whipped around her body. Suddenly, on the outer brim of the clearing, she heard a stick snap. Spinning around she tried to decipher who or what was there, “Henry?” a pregnant silence is all that followed. The trees were swaying but no rustling could be heard. It was an eerie quiet. It was interrupted by another snap from directly behind her. Spinning again, Emma tried to figure out what the hell was going on, “Regina is that you?”_

_Then there was snapping from all around, in every direction. Emma spun frantically hoping that a familiar face would appear and explain what the hell was going on. Her eyes darted around, scanning the outskirts of the clearing in a desperate panic. Finally she saw a familiar face. Then another. Followed by a few more. “Regina! Henry! I’ve been trying to get to you for…for a long time! You kept running! And…Mom? Dad? Where did you guys come from?” Emma was relieved at first. But then she looked a little closer. Looking at Mary Margaret she noticed the hollowness of her eyes. That wasn’t right. And David had this dark smile on his face as if he was a schoolyard bully and he was sizing up his victim. The whole situation freaked her out. But when she looked at Regina and Henry…that scared her the most. They were holding hands and they both had matching looks on their face. They looked disgusted at the sight of Emma. Like she was pathetic._

_They all closed in on her in a circle and Emma had no where to go, “Guys…w-what’s going on!” Her voice came out weak and shaky, an audible representation of just how terrified she was. She turned to try and escape somehow, but she was stopped by a silhouette, which began to bubble and thrash about until it morphed into a perfect clone of...herself. Furrowing her brows in confusion she stared at the person in front of her. She was looking straight into her own eyes, only they were darker and emptier. She was wearing identical boots and skin tight jeans, however, her jacket wasn’t its signature red. It was a deep black almost casting a dark shadow over the version of Emma. “What the hell is this!” Angling her head so she could see her parents, she could taste bile when they disappeared and reappeared. Flickering on and off as if they were mere holograms._

_“I told you.”_

_Emma’s head snapped back to look at the sound of her own taunting voice coming from the darker version of herself. “You told me what?”_

_“I told you that they would leave. I told you that they would all leave you eventually and you know I’m right. No matter how hard you try to hold onto them they will leave you. It is inevitable. You knew they would go and yet you stayed here in this town. Hoping that things would work out. I told you to run. I told you to leave at the earliest opportunity but you stayed. Running is what you do best. Leaving people behind before they can abandon you. When have you ever stayed somewhere and had it work out for you Emma? Yeah that’s right. Never. You should have offed yourself properly when you had the chance!”_

_Emma could do nothing but shake her head in denial, “No! It’s different this time! I know it’s not perfect at the moment but I can make it work! I can-”_

_To say that being interrupted by herself was weird would be an understatement, “Foolish girl. You think any of these people actually love you? You know deep down that they are just using you. All of them.” The darker Emma made her way to stand in between Mary Margaret and David, “These two idiots don’t love you! They love the idea of having a daughter with a title that lives up to their Charming name and expectations. They love the Savior. Not you.”_

_Emma squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, “No! T-that’s not true!” Then Mary Margaret spoke through lips parted in a sweet smile, “Oh but Emma, sweetie, it is.”_

_Emma was out of breath as she watched her darker self move on to stand besides Regina, “And this woman here? She’s only playing nice so she can gain your trust. As soon as she has that, she has her son back and she can get rid of you while you’re vulnerable!” Regina’s smile at hearing this was wide and toothy, they only word capable of describing it: evil._

_Emma had to hold her stomach to stop herself from throwing up as Dark Emma came to a halt behind Henry, placing a hand on each of his shoulders, “Finally, this young man. At first, he wanted you back. But then he saw you for what you really are. A failure. A screw up. A disappointment.” The young boy simply nodded with a smirk._

_Dark Emma stepped around Henry and made her way to center of their little gathering and sighed, “You should have listened to me Emma. You really should have.” The darker woman walked closer to Emma, revealing a glimmering knife that was previously hidden in the leather of her knee-high boot, “I’m sorry Emma. But you should have known that this would end in pain.”_

_With that, the whole group grabbed whatever flailing pale limb they could to hold Emma down on the damp ground. She dry heaved and tried to scream but nothing came out. All she could hear was the laughter of the people who she thought loved her. Only when the shining metal pierced her stomach was she able to audibly scream…_

“What am I doing here?”

 

* * *

 

Clawing at the bed sheets that were sticking to her sweaty body, Emma tore them off and shot out of the bed. The room was barely visible due to the sunrise just managing to seep through the outer edges of the cream curtains. Her legs were shaky as she stood and paced, thinking about her nightmare, replaying it over and over and over until she thought her head may explode. When a warm hand was tentatively placed on her shoulder, defense mode was on autopilot. She pushed the hand off almost as soon as it touched her. She spun around and screamed, sobbing as she sunk to the ground and curled up in a ball, covering her face with her forearms feeling helpless, “GET AWAY FROM ME! DON’T HURT ME!”

 

She felt warm hands pry her arms away from her face. She tried to fight and resist but she felt dizzy and weak. Suddenly her cheeks were being held and her head was forced up. She found herself staring into familiar chocolate orbs. Ones that weren’t filled with the evil she had seen in her dream. “Emma! Emma, calm down. Here, look, it’s okay, it’s just me.” The blonde let out a deep breath realizing who the hands belonged to, and she even found the sensation of Regina’s thumb wiping away stray tears soothing, until her thoughts got the best of her. “No. Get off me.” She pushed the soothing hands away from her and stood, stepping around the kneeling brunette. “I-I need to go. I’m serious this time Regina I can’t be here anymore. I’m leaving and that’s final.”

 

The older woman stood from her position on the floor and turned to see the blonde, still as pale as a ghost, pacing the room once again. “Why Emma? What on Earth just happened?”

 

Emma continued pacing while waking her hands around in gestures to emphasise her story, “The nightmare. I was chasing you and Henry but you left me every single time I even got close and then in the clearing Mom and Dad were there and you and Henry were too and then I was there but it wasn’t really me but I was telling myself that I should have left while I had the chance because everyone here will end up leaving me anyway and then she stabbed me…I stabbed me and-”

 

A gentle grasp on her forearm pulled Emma from her rant. She looked down at the hand holding her and then up at the tired but genuinely concerned face staring at her, “Emma it was just a dream okay? Come and sit down for a minute. Please.”

The younger woman obliged and sat besides Regina on the bed.

 

“What’s going on Emma? Why are you so adamant about going?”

 

Emma sighed and swallowed thickly before responding, “Because everyone leaves. Ever since I was young, anyone I even considered a friend or anyone I trusted…they all left. Families that took me in always found a reason to send me back. Anyone I spoke to when I was hurt would end up hurting me even more. I even opened up a few times about struggles I’ve had, but they pretend to care simply for the gossip value, until they got bored with me and something better and more worth their time came along. Don’t you see, Regina? I need to go before that happens again. I learned to shut my feelings off. To block people out and never let them see. But here, in Storybrooke, I found my son and my parents and…and I like to think I have friends here…I’m so used to being completely abandoned, so why is it that I’m terrified of losing all these people? I let my guard down Regina. I can’t handle losing anyone else. I can’t-” Emma was cut off by her own throat clenching as she dry heaved.

Regina’s heart broke for the millionth time upon seeing this woman so broken, “Emma. Listen to me okay? I can’t speak for your mother and father, but I can speak for Henry, because I know him well enough and I sure as hell can speak for myself. Henry will never leave you. He found you and brought you here because he wanted you in his life and as much as you think he may give up on you, that boy will never ever abandon you. Just like I know you don’t want to leave him. He would be broken if you were to leave. And so would your parents. And so would…so would…your other friends here in town. As much as I would once have hated to admit it, you belong here Emma. I know it may not feel like it right now, but you are wanted here. You are needed. You are afraid of losing these people because you truly love them. And the love that you feel for them is equally returned. Having someone who once loved you, leave you, hurts a lot and I think that is what you are afraid of. But trust me when I say no one is leaving any time soon.”

“No…that can’t be right. What happens when I let people in and then they betray me like every other time? I’ve just opened up to you and given you all the ammunition you need to attack. I’m weak and vulnerable. It’s only a matter of time really-”

“Let me just stop you right there, Miss Swan. I know that is who I was once, and I regret none of it. If I wasn’t that person neither of us would have Henry, and he is a blessing. And it’s because of him, with your help of course, that I am no longer that person. And I know you don’t really remember that change, but I promise you that I have changed. I don’t expect you to believe me right now and it is not in my nature to beg for a chance to prove myself. I need not prove myself to anyone. I am who I am, take it or leave it, but I do not intend to hurt you. I wont abandon you when the time suits me. I know all too well how it feels to be betrayed and to feel alone. I don’t want that for you again. After you broke the curse, you, out of all people were the only one to see something in me. You had hope for me and right now I am returning that faith, not out of obligation. Simply because I…I don’t want you to feel alone anymore.” Regina took a deep breath before adding, “If you leave…Henry will lose you…and I will lose one of the only friends I have really ever had.”

The younger woman turned her head to look at the brunette, tears filling her eyes, “But what about what I did…I’m disgusting…I’m a failure and a disappointment and no one wants to associate themselves with someone like that…but here you are, telling me that we are friends and I just don’t understand-“

Regina stopped the younger woman’s fast rambling by placing a hand on top of a pale one. She spoke, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet Emma’s eyes, “Don’t you dare say those things about yourself. Not now and not ever. I know that…this is a dark time for you. Blackness almost covered you but I know that somewhere in you is the light that cuts through all of that darkness. And I’m not leaving until that light shines through, and even when it does come back, I’m still not leaving. Got it? ” 

Emma choked up at the rawness of what the other woman had just said, “I’m sorry. It’s just…I’m not used to having someone that will stay. I find it hard to trust people usually. B-but with you, I find it easy. And that scares me. Like a lot Regina.”

The brunette gave Emma’s frail hand a small squeeze to emphasise her point, “I know exactly how you feel. I know it isn’t all that appealing but you and I have quite a lot in common. That memory I shared with you earlier…I wouldn’t normally share something that I held so dear…but it’s you and it’s different. I’ve never told anyone this but there is something about you that makes me feel safe. And I haven’t felt that since…for a long time.” She couldn’t bring herself to say Daniel’s name. So she swallowed and continued. “I trust you. I really do, and we are the same in the way that we don’t place our trust in just anyone. But I trust you with…with my life Emma. And I hope you can reciprocate some of that trust. I just want you to know that you will always have a place in this town and you will have my attention if you ever need to talk to someone about what is happening in that tiny brain of yours.”

Emma glanced sideways at the other woman, who suddenly looks a lot smaller. Her stomach does a flip but she puts it down to the emotional tension in the room. “Regina…you don’t have to do that for me.

“Yes I do. You went out of your way to assist me when dealing with the angry idiots in this town, so I’m going to help you through this…no matter how hard it is.” Regina had no idea where any of this was coming from. Her original plan was to avoid the younger woman all together after the hospital incident. It was what the blonde had asked for after all. She couldn’t stand being around Emma when she knew that the blonde had forgotten the friendship that they had. She had forgotten that their arguments had become less frustrating and more of a playful banter and one-upmanship. She had forgotten that horrific night in the woods where Regina admitted how she truly felt. She had forgotten how Regina had kissed her. But if Emma had taught her anything over the past few months, even if the blonde had lost sight of her own teachings, it is to have hope. So, as hard as this may be, Regina found herself being prepared to be there for the younger woman. She needed someone to hold onto and Regina wasn’t about to let her fall. “Emma…okay?”

Emma felt the weight of the older woman’s hand on her own and she could feel her presence in the room. It wasn’t uncomfortable and icy like she remembered before the curse broke. It was a warm and cozy feeling. Maybe she should let herself trust this woman. Maybe it would work out for once, “I-I..okay.”

Regina shifted on the bed and brought her legs up on top of the blankets crossing them and facing the blonde, “So. How about you make yourself comfortable and tell me what’s been happening?”

Slowly nodding, the younger woman too brought her legs up and slipped them under the duvet, her feet stopping only a few inches away from the crossed legs at the other end of the bed. Even through the thick layer of blankets her feet could feel the heat radiating off the older woman.

“Okay well first of all my…Mary Margaret and David. Ever since the um…incident, I have felt like they were hiding something from me. They never helped me try to remember anything. It was almost as though they didn’t want me to remember certain things. And now that I have remembered a few things on my own, I think it was you they wanted to stay forgotten. I have remembered a few arguments I had with Mary Margaret and they were almost always about how I took your side over the towns. They…they didn’t tell me that you were…are my friend. I felt so alone and they _let_ me feel like that. They made me feel like I had absolutely no one. I…I’m so sorry that I yelled at you when I first woke up…if I had of known-”

Emma was cut off by the older woman’s hand slapping her duvet covert shin. “Hey! I…ouch!”

The older woman rolled her eyes, “Oh _please_. Emma you need to stop apologizing for things that you shouldn’t be sorry for. When you woke up, all you saw was the woman who tried to poison you, run you out of town, keep your son away from you, throw you in jail…” The brunette punctuated her points with the rise of a singular finger at each one, visually counting her bad deeds, “…put a bug in your office, send Sidney to get dirt on you-” This time it was her turn to be stopped, by a swift kick to her knee from a blanket laden foot, “Ouch!” Emma rolled her eyes and mocked the older woman’s earlier tone, “Oh _please._ I know you did all of those things but you aren’t that woman anymore. I mean, I haven’t remembered much but I can feel it. Also, I just kicked you and my head is still connected to my body, so clearly you’ve changed.”

That elicited a small chuckle from the brunette, “Fair point. But you can see why your mother and father wouldn’t want me near you or my…your…our Henry. The odd part about that is the fact that your mother actually apologized for treating me the way she had been…and yet she didn’t remind you of our friendship. It’s understandable though…I-I’m not a very good person to be in both of your lives.”

The older woman’s gaze fell to where her fingers were playing with the hem of her pajama pants and her heart sank. She had realised for the first time that mutual affection isn’t the only boundary stopping her from being with the one she loved. That her tainted past, written and never to be erased, will always shape who she is. Chancing a quick glance towards the younger woman before her, with a crease in her brow, she realised that she is not worthy. That she doesn’t deserve such a pure and beautiful creature.

“Hey…Regina? I don’t believe that for a second. And I don’t like that look on your face. It’s your negative thoughts look.” The older woman’s eyebrows furrowed even further at the blondes inquisition. “I know that my parents only see your past when they look at you, even after apologizing. But I don’t. I know it isn’t much of a reassurance coming from me because…well my opinions have never really mattered to anyone, but, when I look at you, even after losing a massive chunk of my memory, I can see a changed woman. I know this sounds cliché but I kind of understand how hard it is to make such a huge change. I know it must have been difficult and taken a lot of courage. But you did it. And that’s something to be proud of. Your son is proud of you. I am too. Regina, oh god this sounds so lame, I kinda…sorta look up to you in a way. I mean…ever since the incident I have been thinking about it. About you. And how you changed your life for the better and I wanted to do that too… so I can be happy, you know? But I can see that all slipping away now…so…yeah…”

Regina’s mouth opened and closed a few times as she was too flabbergasted to form words. She could feel tears sting her eyes but she refused to let them fall. “I…Emma. That’s really kind of you to say. I appreciate that at least you can see that I’m trying. But…why do you see your happiness slipping away, if you don’t mind me asking?”

This time Emma looked down at the duvet, at the curtain, at the carpet, anywhere but at the woman’s eyes that she could feel burning into her, “I…it’s hard to explain. I just…I guess I feel like I have fallen off a cliff. A huge ass cliff and I just keep falling and falling. But every now and again there will be a vine that I can grasp. I reach for it and I try to hold on and think that I may be able to climb back up…but the vine breaks…every time…just another false hope. So I guess, that in the free fall, I have realised I’m better off when I hit the bottom.” The silence that followed scared Emma enough to glance up at the woman in front of her, whose chocolate eyes were full of sympathy and warmth. The blonde felt as though she would be quite happy to get lost in those eyes forever and ever. Her deep stare was interrupted by the older woman blinking and then speaking, “No. It…that is not true! You may have fallen but…we can pull you back up…I can pull you back up!”

Despite her distraught state, Emma chuckled at how seriously her metaphor had been taken, so she decided to play along, “Regina. You can’t just pull me up. I mean…I fell from a cliff. The speed that I am falling at, multiplied by the angle of elevation, divided by the amount of hamburgers I’ve eaten over the past month, plus the laws of gravity and also minus 7, equals…you can’t pull me up. See, the rules simply won’t allow it.”

Regina’s face contorted as she tried to do the math, “Miss Swan…I don’t know where you pulled that equation from, but no matter. You say that the rules wont allow me to help you?”

“That is correct Miss Mills.” Regina leaned forward, gripping the younger woman’s upper shin for support. Her smile becoming more of a smirk and her voice a husky whisper, “Well it’s a good thing I don’t play by the rules, isn’t it?”

Emma blinked and swallowed, trying to ignore the sudden feeling of heat at her cheeks and butterflies swarming her belly. She released a breath she didn’t know she was holding when the older woman sat back, removing her hand from its position. Regina swung her legs off the bed, placing her feet on the shaggy rug beneath the bed. “So I shall be supporting you through this difficult time, regardless of your ridiculous rules, but right now I think we both are in need of a few hours of shut eye.”

Emma smiled, “Yeah I agree…you look like shit.” The older woman scoffed, “Ah. There’s the Emma I know. Always so crass. And you look no better! So stop with your smartass comments and get some beauty sleep…you need it.” The older woman smirked and made her way across the room. Hand on the silver door knob she made to exit, but was stopped by Emma’s voice, sounding a lot smaller and emptier than it had only a few moments earlier, “R-Regina?” The brunette turned to face the woman in bed, a worried expression donning her face upon seeing the blonde looking around the room in…was that fear? The whole scene reminded her of a part in one of Henry’s old movies, Monsters Inc. she recalls. The part where the child was to be left alone in the big blue monster’s bed to sleep but was afraid of monsters in her closet. Emma resembled that child so much in this moment, glancing around the room in fear of the sheer size of it and what may be lurking in the dark corners.

“Regina I…would you…could you…” Emma cursed her stupid mouth and its non-existent filter. She released a long sigh and proceeded to lie down fully, wiggling slightly to get comfortable, “Never mind. Good night Regina, and thank you for…well everything.”

The older woman, still in the doorway, tilted her head quizzically towards the blonde, who shot her a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Regina was about to speak but decided against it as the younger rolled over and faced away from her. She stood in the doorway for a while, thinking she knew exactly what the blonde was asking. A wave of courage came over her as she shut the door.

* * *

Emma heard the door click shut and she released a long breath. She was alone…again, in a room far too big and empty. She was covered in blankets and sheets but she still felt cold. Her feet almost reached the end of the bed and yet she felt so small. That was, until she felt the bed dip behind her. She froze in place, automatically thinking the worst, but then the strong scent of apple shampoo and floral perfume filled the air and she smiled the smallest of smiles as she rolled over to find Regina slipping under the covers next to her, not making eye contact. Somehow the older woman had understood her silent question, she didn’t know how, but she was grateful for the new warmth, even if there was at least a foot and a half between them. “You didn’t have to…” The brunette looked sideways at the younger woman, “Nonsense. You didn’t even need to ask…you just looked so…l couldn’t leave you alone. Not after everything you’ve just gotten off your chest.”

“I-I’m glad I came here last night. Thank you Regina.” The older woman straightened her head so that she was looking at the ceiling, “I’m glad too Emma. But I swear, if you tell anyone about this right here…” She pointed at herself and then at the space on the bed in between them to emphasise her point, “…I will destroy you. I have a reputation to uphold and I cannot be seen as going soft.” Emma laughed at this. A real and hearty laugh and it made Regina’s stomach flip. “Whatever you say Madame-Mayor-Not-So-Evil-Queen-Sir.”

Regina scoffed and rolled onto her side, facing away from the other woman. As soon as her face was out of the blonde’s line of vision, she couldn’t help the smile that found its way to her lips. Emma may not remember the complicated depths of their friendship but now she knows that Regina isn’t the enemy. And for now, although she craved more, Emma’s trust is enough. She knew she was in for a difficult time, knowing how she felt for Emma while knowing that her feelings weren’t reciprocated on any more than the friendship level. She felt the body behind her shift a little on the bed and her smile faded. She became saddened as she realised she may have to let her love for this woman go. Her heart was just about ready to burst when she came to the conclusion that helping the blonde recover was far more important then pursuing feelings for her. What Emma has become is not who the brunette remembers. As nice as it is to be able to comfort the younger woman, the hard ass, opinionated and bold version was much more preferable, in Regina’s opinion. And if getting that woman back meant trying to forget her own feelings to put the focus on Emma’s wellbeing…then so be it. It was a sacrifice that she would have to convince herself that she was willing to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Just in case it wasn't really clear; they're simply sleeping in the same bed. Nothing is going on. Emma just didn't want to be alone but couldn't really bring herself to ask Regina to stay. But Regina basically read her mind and couldn't leave Emma alone, especially after all the emotions she had just let out. I don't know about you guys but when you pour your heart and soul out to someone you kind of don't want to be alone right afterwards because you think about it and stew on it and it sucks yo. SO yeah that's kinda what I was getting at. 
> 
> And yeah, Regina is gonna try and put her feelings on hold for now because she needs to focus on helping Emma find her happiness to get her back on the road to a good life, whatever that may be...or WHOEVER that might be... ;) only time will tell.
> 
> I'll start writing chapter 6 tomorrow but it could be a bit because school thinks it's an awesome idea to have exams on. And then straight after exams they think it's fun to hand out assignments. For every subject I have. All at the same time. Yay. School is great. jk school can suck my dick. 
> 
> OK LOVE YOU GUYS. Reviews are greatly appreciated xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I have a some stuff to say. First and foremost i would like to apologise for the sheer delay in my update. I have had trial HSC exams and that can be super stressful. Also, recently a member of my family who I was quite close to, passed away. Since then i haven't really been capable of finding motivation to do anything. I have sort of fallen into this dark hole and I am currently trying to climb my way out. i won't burden you with further details though. I truly am sorry about the wait. I will do my best to be more regular. This chapter is 19737 words long, so I am hoping that it keep you guys occupied for a while so it gives me a chance to sort my shit out.
> 
> Next, i would like to dedicate this chapter to my new friend Brooklyn, (a.k.a TheSwanSavior on Wattpad), as she has been such wonderful and kind and caring human being and I honestly don't know if i would have continued this story if it wasn't for her. Thank you for your kind words Brooke. You have such a beautiful soul. 
> 
> Okay. Finally I just wanted to mention that I mention three songs in this fic. The first one is 'Im A Believer' by Smash Mouth, second one is 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' by Elton John and Kiki Dee, and lastly 'The Only Exception' by my loves Paramore. It's up to you but you should listen to these songs when I mention them. It's a real mood setter and they are just such awesome songs. If you don't want to then thats cool. Whatever floats your boat.
> 
> Okay that's all from me. Hope you enjoy this long af chapter and have a lovely day wherever you are in the world and I hope that you know that you are an awesome person and that if you ever need to reach out to someone then just shoot me a message. OKAY OKAY. Thanks for reading and i love you all.

As nice as it is to be able to comfort the younger woman, the hard ass, opinionated and bold version was much more preferable, in Regina's opinion. And if getting that woman back meant trying to forget her own feelings to put the focus on Emma's wellbeing...then so be it. It was a sacrifice that she would have to convince herself that she was willing to make.  
\----------  
Regina wakes, transitioning slowly from a beautiful dream, back into the harsh reality. She lay still for a long while, letting her heavy eyes adjust to the now blaring sun. She felt something pressing into her left arm. Turning slightly, she was met with the top Emma's messy blonde head, her face nestled into Regina's side. The brunette's fingers twitched slightly as the urge to tangle her fingers through golden curls became apparent. Regina stared for a while, not daring to move a muscle in fear of waking the younger woman, who must have gravitated towards warmth during her sleep. A tiny hint of a smile played upon cherry lips. One of those quiet smiles that are barely there, but are completely genuine in its significance. She thought about Emma's 5am surprise appearance and all that followed. Her heart ached slightly upon remembering the way the blonde had reacted upon waking from her nightmare, and how Regina had comforted her through three more after they both went to bed. The younger woman would thrash about in her sleep, waking the brunette. It would give Regina a few seconds to wake properly and prepare for the screams that would tear from Emma's throat when her eyes snapped open, overflowing with tears. Regina would sit up next to the other woman and simply wrap both arms around her pale bicep, pulling her close, even when she would refuse and try to break free from the grip. Regina held on until her breathing slowed and she realised that the dream wasn't real. She would fall back asleep with her head resting on Regina's shoulder, and then the cycle would repeat itself.  
The brunette shuddered at the memory, and turned slightly to check the neon numbers on her alarm clock. 11:45am. They had only had about 5 hours of sleep, minus the interruptions. Regina made a mental note to have an early night to catch up on some much-needed sleep. The movement had disrupted the blonde's sleep and Regina heard a small grunt as the blonde shifted her position, unconsciously burying her face further into Regina's arm. The brunette turned her head back around ever so slowly, hoping she hadn't woken the sleeping beauty. Regina's heart swelled and she sucked in a sharp breath when she saw the way Emma had all but invaded her side of the bed and the way her face was scrunched against the tanned arm. She watched Emma's chest rise and fall, slowly and rhythmically, indicating that she was still sound asleep. Regina closed her eyes and sighed, realizing how hard it's going to be to try and forget her feelings for the woman laying next to her.  
\----------  
Regina didn't move for the next forty-five minutes in fear of waking the younger woman, but when nature calls, you can only ignore it for so long. She gently slid away from the blonde and off the bed as quietly as humanly possible, then proceeded to tip toe across the room. She shut the door with the tiniest hint of a click echoing through the otherwise silent room.  
Emma woke quite suddenly, her toes curling at how cold she was. Eyes still closed, she rolled more towards the right side of the bed, aiming get closer to Regina's heat. She frowned when she felt nothing but icy, barren sheets and finally opened her eyes. She was met with an empty bed and an empty room. She tried to ignore the way her heart sank at the idea of Regina growing irritated from the lack of sleep due to constantly being woken by Emma's nightmares and sneaking off to the comfort of her own bedroom. She sat up slightly, her head resting on the wooden headboard and sighed, looking around the room and tugging the duvet up and over her head so she became encompassed in a superficial warmth that didn't quite reach her heart. She felt guilt and regret pooling in her belly. Had she overstepped her boundaries with Regina? Had she shared too much? Had she frustrated the older woman with her sob stories? Had she screwed everything up yet again? Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the swirling sound of a toilet flush followed by a dull creak of an opening door.  
Regina did her best to open the ensuite door quietly so as to not wake the blonde. She squeezed out of the small opening she had created and clicked the door shut again. She brushed a stubborn wisp of hair out of her eyes and behind her ear as she looked up at the bed, hoping to find the younger woman still sleeping. Her lips parted slightly and a frown dawned her face when she saw the mass of blankets at the far end of the bed. She tilted her head slightly as the pile moved and suddenly Emma's head appeared from underneath. Regina couldn't help the disappointed "oh" that escaped her mouth at finding the blonde awake. She also couldn't help the way her stomach became an Olympic gymnast, flipping upon hearing Emma's raspy morning voice crack, "Hi..." The younger woman coughed to clear her throat, "Sorry...Good morning." Regina stared at the woman, still slightly confused about the whole situation, but totally captivated by the blonde's deeper morning voice and the way the sun made her golden locks glow and how...no. Regina stopped her train of thought from distracting and she glanced away from the gaze of the other woman. "Good afternoon actually." The younger woman smiled at this, but became self-conscious when Regina's face morphed into a genuine frown, "What is it?"  
The brunette took a few steps closer to the bed and waved her hands around in gestures to make her point seem more valid, "I just simply cannot fathom how absolutely horrific your timing is. Honestly, I mean, I lay there in that bed with you for years just waiting for you to wake up. Suddenly it is necessary for me to leave for one minute. One minute! And that is when you decided it would be a great idea to wake up?"  
Emma wasn't really sure as to why the woman was so bothered by the time in which she woke, but she decided to play along, "Wow Regina. You lay awake for years? How many exactly? What year is it now? Am I in the future? Have robots taken over the world?" Although Regina's face contorted even further, the younger woman saw the hint of a smile forming on cherry lips. "Oh, shut up! You know what I meant!" The younger woman simply smirked at Regina's frustration, but then the question was out of her mouth before it had even processed in her mind, "Wait...Why does it matter when I woke up? Why did you wait so long anyway?" Upon voicing this question, Emma swore she saw a hint of a blush on the older woman's tanned cheeks. "I suppose I just felt like I couldn't let you wake up alone...not after everything you got off your chest earlier. It just didn't sit right with me...and yet, you woke up alone anyway." Regina couldn't help the way her throat tightened with guilt, but looking down at the younger woman, who was still bundled up in bed, she realised Emma wasn't phased in the least. "That is actually the nicest thing...you...you really surprise me sometimes. But I am a little sad that I woke up alone so lets just rewind."  
Regina's shy smile turned into a look of utter confusion, "Rewind?" The blonde huffed in annoyance, "Yes Regina. I am pressing the rewind button on 'The Magical Remote of Time.' See?" Emma punctuated her point by removing her arms from within the depths of the blankets, opening her right hand, palm up and then pressing her open hand with a single finger, making a 'boop' sound. "Well what are you just standing there for? The remote says rewind so come back over here and then I can be asleep. Then, I will wake up and you will be there and I wont have woken up alone! It's really quite a simple plan, I don't understand how you aren't getting it."  
Regina couldn't help the tiny smirk that tickled her lips, "Emma...you're just overly tired. You haven't had the proper amount of sleep for a woman your age. The Emma I know would be horrified to even be in my home. You just aren't yourself right now...dare I say, you may be a little delusional or disoriented."  
Emma dramatically fell back onto her pillow so she was looking at the roof, raising her arms only to let them flop down onto the mattress either side of her head, "Oh Regina, I am fine! I am myself. My middle name is Myself. I am Emma Myself Swan and I am most certainly not delusional...or disoriented for that matter. I know exactly where I am. I am in the guest bedroom of 108 Muffin Street and being here totally doesn't horrify me. See? Now come on, we don't have all day and I can practically see the guilt oozing out of your pores. I had a dream...well a memory, of that time you found me at the sheriff's station after a fight with Mary-Margaret. You told me that you could see through my walls. Regina, you understand me and you can read me better than anyone I have ever met, BUT I can read you just as well, and right now you are feeling pretty guilty, even though you really, really shouldn't be." She lifted her head slightly to look towards the older woman, who looked a little flustered.  
Regina could feel tears sting her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that Emma remembered the heartfelt talk they had that night, or that Emma could so easily make her feel understood and cared for. "Emma I..."  
The blonde simply pointed to the space next to her on the bed in reply and Regina finally complied, not without a small chuckle and playful eye roll.  
As soon as Regina had slipped into the bed, the younger woman pumped her fist into the air and punctuated it with a victorious "YES!" The older woman rolled her eyes once more but smiled all the same. She made herself comfortable, sighing at the warmth radiating off the blonde, who had rolled over, her back now facing the Regina. "Okay, I'm asleep,"  
Regina raised her eyebrows and tilted her head to look towards the younger woman, "You're an idiot." Blonde curls shifted as Emma turned her head so that Regina could see her frown, "Am not. Shh." She turned her head back around and closed her eyes. There was a long pause filled with comfortable silence, until Regina spoke, "Miss Swan?"  
"Madame Mayor?"  
The brunette scoffed but continued, "Before...did I hear you correctly when you said that I live on 'Muffin Street'?"  
"Yep. Shh I'm sleeping."  
Regina scrunched her nose a little and shook her head at the younger woman's antics, "Idiot."  
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They lay there for around ten minutes before Emma rolled over onto her stomach and placed her chin on the palms of her hands with her elbows digging into the mattress. She stared at the other woman, whose back was propped up by a few pillows. Regina glanced down at the other woman and her heart got caught in her throat upon seeing Emma looking up at her with that lopsided grin and her heart fluttered when she noticed the childish sparkle that had returned to the younger woman's eyes making them shine brighter than the sun. "Hi."  
Regina suddenly forgot how to breathe. Yeah. Forgetting her feelings for this woman shall prove much harder than first anticipated. She swallowed before speaking, "Hello." The two women stared at each other a little longer, Regina becoming lost in beautiful green forests while Emma grew a little curious as to exactly what emotions were running around her head as she gazed up at the brunette. Their brief moment of serenity was interrupted by a sudden growling noise. Emma scrunched her nose and slid closer to the other woman, resting her head on Regina's stomach, who flinched in shock. "What do you think you are doing?" Emma deadpanned and brought a finger to her lips to shush the other woman, who raised a threatening eyebrow as if to say 'did you just shush me?' The blonde simply grinned when she heard the low bubbling grown emit from Regina's stomach and she then sat up, "You have a lion in your stomach that is begging to be fed. You...you stayed. You didn't leave me to wake up alone. Let me make you some breakfast." Regina simply chuckled, "Henry has informed me that you aren't much of a chef Miss Swan and I have witnessed you attempt something as simple as heating a tin of that horrible spaghetti. I'm sorry to say it, but I'm inclined to agree with Henry." Emma stood from the bed with a look of fake offence donning her face, "Oh how you wound me so!" Clutching her chest over her heart and reaching for the wall for support, she kept the drama going, hand actions and all, "I shall surely never recover from such hurtful words. I bid thee farewell as I fall to my death after having been cut so deep. My heart has been penetrated by your venomous words and I shall never be able to move on. Your words-" The blondes act was interrupted by pillow hitting her square in the face followed by a small chuckle. "Oh do shut up. There is not one single circumstance in this world...or any world for that matter...that I would deem it appropriate to use the word 'penetrate'." The blonde laughed at the way Regina's nose scrunched up in disapproval and she turned around and headed towards the door, "That's real mature Madame Mayor." With that, the blonde left the room. Regina sat still and stared after the blonde still replaying that laugh in her head. It was then that the older woman realised she could listen to that laugh all day every day for the rest of her life and never ever grow bored. She was shaken from her trance when Emma popped her head through the door, "You stay here yeah? I'll go make breakfast." Regina glanced towards the clock and then back at the woman in the threshold, "But it's already-" She was cut off before she could even think about finishing her sentence, "I know, I know. But breakfast for lunch is the best so I'll go make it." Regina tried to stop her, "Emma you don't have to do-" She was cut off yet again, "Penetrate."  
"Excuse me but-"  
"Penetrate." The younger woman smirked at how Regina's face contorted in both disgust and frustration. "Miss Swan, I don't appreciate-"  
"Penetrate." Emma turned around, ignoring the other woman, and yelled the word repeatedly in her own made up song. Regina shook her head and listened to the horrifying sounds of that word echoing through her house until it faded as the blonde descended the stairs. The brunette sat for a while and thought about things. She thought about Henry and how she misses him. She thought about how she still needs to re-paint her downstairs study. She thought about work she needed to get done. But no matter where her mind strayed to, it always came back to the same thing. The same idiot. The same question; how the hell did I fall for this woman?  
She stood from the bed, that question fresh in her mind and she tried to find the answer. 'Well for starters she is the mother of your child. She is also the only one who believed in you and defended you when everyone else wanted you dead. Oh and there was also that one time when she answered the door in her underwear. She is the savior and sometimes you feel like you need a little saving, right? There was also that time when she rescued you from a burning building. And those lingering gazes can't mean nothing can they? Oh and there is also the fact that she is gorgeous inside and out and the fact that she cares about pretty much everyone else's happiness but her own. And she is strong hearted and dedicated and kind and that smile and those eyes and there's that feeling in your stomach whenever you think about her and...oh no.' Regina marched herself over to the ensuite and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She proceeded to give herself a lecture, "Regina. Get a grip. Control yourself. You need to stop trying to convince yourself that you have a chance. Take the feelings that you have right now, lock them up and push them far away. This is about Emma now. You need to help her see how much she is worth to everybody here in this town. So, forget your own selfish feelings, wash your face and go downstairs to make sure that idiot isn't destroying your kitchen." And so Regina did.  
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Making her way downstairs, Regina could hear bowls banging and clanging and she cringed at the mess the younger woman was sure to be making. She heard rustling and cracking and mixing then a slam followed by a long drawn out sigh. Regina poked her head through the door to see what the fuss was about. She saw Emma in the kitchen, surrounded by various plates, spoons and ingredients. She noticed a streak of flour stuck to the blonde's right cheek and she had to place a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing because Emma just looks so adorable when she's frustrated. Before she could even stop herself, the older woman's thoughts had strayed to the possibility of waking up to this woman every day; her stupid jokes and her attempts at cooking them breakfast and her lopsided smile and those gorgeous eyes and...'Shit,' She wasn't supposed to be thinking like this, but as she secretly watched the blonde from the doorway, she couldn't help it. 'Shit shit shit.'  
When she was finished internally cursing herself she stepped fully into the room and Emma looked up, "I told you to stay upstairs." The older woman made her way over to the bench and placed her elbows down on the counter so that she was opposite the blonde, "No need for the attitude Miss Swan. What happened to the delusional woman from upstairs hm? She was much nicer." The younger woman glared at Regina, "Oh ha, ha. Very funny Regina. That woman died of tiredness and starvation. But seriously, I said stay upstairs." The brunette rolled her eyes, "I simply came to check that my kitchen hadn't been thoroughly destroyed." Emma looked around at the array of utensils and bowls strewn across the bench. She then noticed the amount of ingredients that hadn't quite made it into the bowls and looked at Regina, feeling guilty as ever, "I'll clean it all up. I just wanted to make you something that wasn't pop tarts and hot chocolate." Regina smiled at the woman's intentions, but the smile disappeared when she looked down into the bowl full of a clumpy off-white substance, "And what exactly is it that you were attempting to cook?" The younger woman also looked into the bowl of mess, "I wanted to make French toast with fruit...but that happened." The younger woman pushed the porcelain bowl around with her fingertips feeling awkward as brown eyes scanned her face, "I appreciate you trying, but if you were making French toast why is their flour on your cheek?"  
Emma quickly wiped the powder away with the sleeve of her pajama shirt, "Well I used flour in the batter...you do put flour in it...right?" Regina couldn't help chuckling at the defeat on the younger woman's face, "No. No, you do not."  
Emma combed her fingers through her hair and released a strained grumble, "Oh...I can never do anything right! Even something as simple as French goddamn toast." Regina recognized the self-loathing and aimed to shut it down as quickly as possible, "No Emma! Don't say that. By the looks of things you had it...mostly correct." The younger woman was stubborn and she crossed her arms over her chest, "I still messed it up." Even though it was something as small as making breakfast, Emma still felt the familiar sting of failure and for some reason, messing up in front of Regina made the sting more painful than usual.  
"Okay well you'll just have to make it again. I'll help you. I can teach you, okay?" The blonde looked hesitant so Regina pushed further, "I um...I once taught you how to make pancakes. The proper ones, not the powered 'just-add-milk' imposters." This brought a tiny smile to pink lips, "You did?"  
The brunette returned the smile, "I did. Henry helped. He insisted that I teach you so that when he was at your place for the week he might actually be able to eat real food for breakfast, for even he grew tired of pop tarts. So he dragged you here one morning and sat on this side of the bench and watched while you made a mess..." Emma watched as Regina's whole demeanor changed when she re-told this particular story. The brunette stared off into space and absent-mindedly picked at the sleeve of her pajama shirt. A smile played on her lips as she spoke and she looked genuinely happy. Emma decided that she wanted to see more of this side of the woman. Remembering that said woman was telling her a story, she refocused her attention to the words that were being said, rather than the lips they were coming from. "You somehow got pancake mix on your face and next thing you know, you two idiots are covered in it. Some even got on me, and both of you thought it was so funny, but you can imagine... I was most certainly not impressed." The blonde couldn't help but laugh a little at the thought of Regina getting one of her expensive dresses dirty, "I'm sorry. I wish I could remember. I actually enjoy cooking, but it rarely works out for me. I just need assistance most of the time." The older woman looked hopeful, "So you'll let me guide you through French toast?" Emma looked down at the contents of the bowl again and then back up at Regina, letting out a dramatic sigh, "I suppose I could use your expertise." The older woman smiled and rounded the bench to stand beside the blonde. She combed her chestnut locks behind her ears with her fingers and scrunched her nose up in disgust as she got a closer view of Emma's creation, "Please dispose of that monstrosity before it comes alive and attacks us."  
They spent the next forty-five minutes cooking together. Regina told the younger woman exactly what to do, who willingly followed the instructions, trying her best not to make a mess. After the mixture was complete, they fell into an easy pattern; Emma soaked the bread and placed it in the hot pan. Regina would then watch over the toast and flip it when required, to ensure that there would be no burnt pieces. Both women noticed how surprisingly easy it was to work well together in the kitchen and how domestic it felt, but neither deemed it necessary to voice these revelations.  
The fourth piece of toast was had just been placed in the pan, so while Regina cooked it, Emma washed the sticky mixture off her hands and proceeded to pick out some berries from the fridge. She washed the blueberries, raspberries and strawberries, also cutting the latter into halves, before placing them into separate bowls. By the time she had done this, the last piece of toast was ready so Regina placed it on the awaiting plate and brought it over to wear the blonde had been chopping fruit. They worked together, placing a variety of berries onto the plates, colour dotting the toast in a way that only Regina could make look delicate. Next, the older woman drizzled honey on hers, while the blonde opted for maple syrup. Regina then grabbed their cutlery and made her way to the dining table. Emma followed soon after and sat with a huff, "I was going to make us some coffee but I...I don't remember how you take yours." The older woman brushed it off with a wave of her hand and a knowing smile. "It smells so good. Thanks for uh...thank you for teaching me." Regina smiled, "It was no trouble at all. It's really a win-win; you learned how to cook something new and I get a delicious meal out of it." The two fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound filling the room being the scraping of knifes and forks clashing with porcelain. Regina heard a small sniffle come from across the table so she looked up immediately concerned, but her apprehension dissipated as she saw Emma stifling a laugh. She was looking down at her plate with that stupid grin, unable to keep a few short snickers from escaping her full mouth. Regina rolled her eyes, "What, may I ask, is so funny Miss Swan?" The younger woman swallowed and looked up, "Nothing I just...I just penetrated a strawberry with my fork." Regina deadpanned, "Shut up, eat your food and at least try to pretend you're a mature adult." They both went back to eating but the quiet didn't even last a minute, "Hey Regina." The older woman sighed, "Yes Emma?"  
"....I'm penetrating my toast with this fork." The blonde laughed at her own joke, knowing full well how stupid it was, but it was fun to mess with the brunette. Regina looked up and rolled her eyes dramatically at the younger woman's immaturity, "I swear, if you say that one more time I will penetrate your heart with my knife." Regina pointed the sharp end of her utensil towards Emma to emphasise her point, "Understood?" Emma didn't take the comment seriously. She simply smiled and bantered, "Oh and here I was thinking that we were getting along just swimmingly." Regina scoffed and tried to look annoyed but she had to duck her head to hide the smile that crept up on her. They ate the rest of their toast quietly, no jokes and no threats. One would sneak a small glance across the table every now and again, only to find the other staring right back. They would smile and quickly avert their eyes, only to have them meet again not minutes later. What Emma found strange was that this whole morning and even last night didn't feel uncomfortable to her. Even though her mind was screaming at her to run away from this town and from these people, to never trust anybody again, her heart kept her right here and for now she decided to allow herself to enjoy it.  
The house phone ringing suddenly interrupted the pleasant silence. Both women scrunched their noses in disapproval and the blonde groaned, "It's too early for someone to be calling." They sat and waited for the ringing to cease, but when it did, it only took five seconds for it to start up again. The phone demanded to be answered so Regina made a move to do so, but Emma overtook her, "I'll get it." She picked up the phone from its cradle on the bench and pressed it to her ear. Regina followed Emma to the phone and stood by trying to listen, "Goooood afternoon. This is the Mills residence, how may I assist you today?" The older woman shook her head at Emma's fake posh demeanor. "Henry?" Hearing her sons name and the way the other woman's face scrunched into a frown had Regina on automatic panic mode and she reached her hand out, asking for the phone. Emma simply shook her head and continued her conversation, "Don't you worry kid, I stayed at your Mom's place last night..." The brunette tried to snatch the phone away but Emma swiftly grabbed onto her wrist and held it firmly, "No Henry. I killed her in her sleep with a rusty steak knife. Of course she's okay! She is actually trying to wrestle me for the phone right now." It was true. Regina was trying to wriggle free from the younger woman's grip and when that didn't work she proceeded to punch the arm that was holding hers in the hopes she would break free. But all attempts failed which left Emma chuckling into the phone, "She's not doing a very good job. So anyway, what did you call for?....Oh. Oh yeah I must have left my mobile at home...tell them I'm safe and I'll be back soon...alright...okay. Now I had better put your Mom on before the vein in her forehead bursts...love you too kid." Emma released the tanned wrist and smirked, holding the device for a frazzled Regina to take, but when she went to take it, Emma moved it a little higher, just out of reach. She dangled it above the smaller woman, who was still trying to reach it. Regina huffed and punched the other woman right in the stomach. When Emma hunched over in pain, she plucked the phone right out of her hand. She smiled in triumph and walked out of the room, pressing the phone to her ear and glancing back at the younger woman, "Yes Dear, she is fine. All these years and she still doesn't know what I am capable of." Emma rolled her eyes at the woman and as soon as she left the room, the blonde lifted up her shirt to check the damage. She then began to clear away the dishes from the table and clean up the mess from their morning of cooking. She figured it was the least she could do after Regina's hospitality.  
\----------  
Regina returned ten minutes later to a spotless kitchen but no Emma. Confused, she backtracked into the hallway and started searching for the other woman. She knocked on the bathroom door but there was no answer. She frowned and quietly made her way through the house. She found the blonde in the living room standing over by the mantle above the fireplace. "Emma?" The younger woman turned around slowly, eyes glued to a framed photograph, "Sorry I just went for a wonder...I love this photo by the way...probably one of my favorites out of the ones you've showed me." She finally looked up at the older woman and put the frame back in its place. "You didn't have to clean up." Emma ducked her head, "And you didn't have to take me in last night and put up with me and my shit." Regina shook her head and took a step forward seeing the pain flash across the other woman's face, "No! Emma, it's not 'putting up with you' when I want to help you. I want you to come to me whenever you need to let anything out. Don't you dare think that you are burdening me with whatever you tell me. You need to know that I wont judge you or criticize you or chastise you for anything you feel or do or want to do. If I felt as though I couldn't handle it I would tell you, but I can handle it and I want to." Emma shook her head, "But I just feel so damn guilty asking so much of you." The older woman took another step forward, "You aren't asking me for help here, so please don't feel that way. I am asking you to allow me help you. You'll let me help you, yes?" The smile on Emma's face was so brilliant that it made the artwork hanging on the mansion walls look like street art in an alleyway. The blonde slowly nodded, "I...yeah. That would be really nice actually." Regina stood there for a moment, gazing at the other woman, before she cleared her throat, "I am glad that is sorted...so what did Henry have to say?" Emma rung her hands nervously, "Oh he just wanted to know where I am because apparently Snow totally flipped the lid when she woke up and I was gone." Regina chuckled, "I am surprised that she hasn't come and broken my door down by now, assuming I had kidnapped you for torture." Emma laughed in return and the sound had Regina's stomach tumbling. The younger woman brushed past Regina as she made to exit the room. She turned her head just before she left, "I'll just go and change real quick..." but then her face contorted in realisation, "I came here with barely any clothes on." Regina shrugged as if the answer was obvious, "Go through my draws, I'm sure there are some leggings and tops that you would find suitable. And if you're lucky we may even share the same shoe size. You'll find a pair of joggers on one of the shelves, about waist height." With one last smile Emma turned and galloped up the stairs, taking them in twos.  
Regina ambled over to where the blonde was previously standing. She picked up the photo frame that Emma was holding, fully expecting it to be one of the many portraits of Henry, but to her surprise it wasn't. The picture she automatically recognized as one of her favorites too. She was staring at it for a while and didn't hear the other woman return, "Whatcha looking at?" Regina physically jumped and she almost dropped the object, "Oh my goodness, I didn't think it was possible for you to be that quiet." Emma chuckled, "You're so funny. Truly, you are. I'm laughing internally, I promise." Regina rolled her eyes, half out of mock annoyance and half to cover up the fact that she had completely just checked the other woman out. Something about seeing the woman she was hopelessly in love with wearing her clothes made Regina feel things that were quite inappropriate under the circumstances. She sighed in relief when the blonde noticed the frame in her hands, and not the blush on her cheeks, "I saw a really nice pair of jeans in one of your drawers. You should wear them more. I know they would look really good on you-oh! That's the one I was just looking at! Could you explain the picture to me? I...I don't remember it...but I want to."  
"Of course." Regina smiled and tried her best not to think about tearing her right clothes off of Emma's body. "Well, Henry and myself had scheduled a lunch with you at Granny's and as usual you were late." Emma smiled apologetically but didn't interrupt. "When you finally showed up you had told us how work had been rather demanding recently and how you were so very exhausted. I had sympathized with you as my work had been quite draining too. We ordered the food and it hadn't even arrived at the table before you had fallen asleep. You can't see it underneath your hair, but you had even made yourself a little napkin pillow." Regina smiled, shaking her head as she spoke. The younger woman watched, yet again, the way the brunettes' whole demeanor changed when she relayed memories back to her. Regina continued, unaware of how her words were making the other woman's heart swell to almost bursting point, "You looked so, so ridiculous. Your head face down on a pile of napkins, blonde curls fanned out all over the place, your arms so far out in front of you that Henry had to pick one up and move it aside to make room for his drink and every now and again you would snort in your sleep and it was just so funny..." Regina trailed off and looked up, realizing how lost she had gotten in the memory. She smiled shyly and continued, "Anyway, I too was tired and I suppose I rested my eyes for a moment only to fall asleep right next to you. I only remember you suddenly waking up startled and jerking your arm from under my head. I woke up to the wonderful feeling of my forehead smacking the tabletop, a nice headache and this photograph on my phone." Regina pulled an accusing face towards the younger woman but couldn't hold back the small smile that broke out soon after. She handed the photo to Emma for her to examine once more. The blonde smiled and ran her thumb over glass protecting the delicate memory. She looked more closely and sure enough Regina had been using her leather-clad forearm as a makeshift pillow. Henry was leaning over the table, his head resting next to Regina's and his hand stretching back behind Emma's head, two fingers up effectively giving her bunny ears. His grin was ear to ear and it made Emma's heart feel so much love that it almost hurt. She looked away from the photo and back to Regina lost for words. The older woman took the photo from Emma's hands and placed it back in its previous position. She turned and smirked towards the blonde, "As much as I think that jacket is a crime against fashion, I'll have to admit, it is pleasantly softer than anticipated."  
Emma rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. "Thank you...for sharing your memories with me. I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me, you know?" The older woman nodded, "It's really no trouble. I hope you know that you are more than welcome to call any time you need to or even pop round...whenever you want to hear any...'gap memories' as you call them." This made the blonde smile. They stood in silence for a few moments before Emma remembered Henry's phone call, "I should get back before Snow has an aneurism." Sighing, Regina responded, "That you should." As the blonde turned to lead the way to the front door Regina only now noticed the silk wedged between Emma's underarm and ribcage. She lurched forward and plucked the items from the other woman who turned in surprise. The brunette deadpanned, "If you wanted to borrow my pajamas you could have simply asked. You need not steal them." She smirked and raised her eyebrows at the expression on the blondes face. Emma fumbled over her words of denial, "No I just...no it wasn't...I didn't...no!" Regina raised her eyebrows even higher, "No?" Emma started to panic, "No! Regina I promise I wouldn't ever dare to steal from you! And not because you have magic and could probably kill me with one swish of your hand, but because I respect you enough not to do something like that! I was just...I just wanted to take them home to wash them for you... I didn't know it would be an issue and I didn't mean..." Emma stopped when she noticed the smirk plastered on the older woman's face, "Oh...you were joking." Regina chuckled, "I was, but you needn't wash them for me, I am quite capable of such a task. I appreciate the offer though, and it is also fantastic to know that you wouldn't dare steal from be because yes, I could kill you rather easily and a dead sheriff doesn't look good for my town, does it?" Emma laughed, "I remember a time when you would have reveled in the idea of a dead me." Although the younger woman spoke lightly of the matter, Regina frowned and looked down, "Yes well...circumstances change and people change and sometimes people change you...Emma I know you don't remember it, but you really, truly did help set me on the path to happiness." Emma stared at the woman, unsure of how to define the feeling stirring in the pit of her stomach, "I don't need my memories to see that you have changed. And sure, maybe I was there for support, but the change...that was all you." The two fell into another comfortable silence, both glancing at each other, satisfied to simply be in the other's company. Once again, Henry's phone call dawned on Emma. She said goodbye to Regina and made for the door.  
As Emma was leaving Regina too remembered what her son had spoken to her about on the phone. She knew she shouldn't ask, after all she was trying to forget her feelings for the younger woman and spending more time with her certainly wouldn't be beneficial to that quest. Regina found herself giving in far quicker than she had anticipated with the reasoning that it was what Henry wanted, trying to ignore the fact that she wanted it just as much as her son, "Emma, wait!" The blonde turned immediately with raised eyebrows in question. The older woman wrung her hands, "Henry and I wanted to know...well...back before the whole memory loss incident, every Friday afternoon the three of us, you, Henry and I, would meet up at Granny's for a...Henry called it 'Family Lunch'. We were just wondering if you would like to start doing that again?" Regina swallowed nervously when she saw the expression on the other woman's face, one that looked like a mixture of confusion and...sadness. Regina felt the need to give the blonde an escape if she didn't want to participate in the lunch, "Of course we will understand if you decline, you are not obliged to attend." Emma looked at the brunette, eyes glistening with unshed tears, "No I would love to it's just...I wish I could remember something as major as that..." Regina stepped forward and placed a hand on Emma's forearm, "Hey, it's okay it isn't your fault. It's just a couple of lunches, no big deal." Emma frowned, "No it...it is. I've never had a family to have 'Family Lunches' with...I should remember that..." Regina's eyes widened when she saw the younger woman teeter on the edge of breaking down, she had to intervene, "No, Emma listen to me. It is not your fault that you can't remember okay? We can make up the time that you've lost okay? We can have a hundred more lunches if needs be, just as long as you know that you have a family now and they aren't going anywhere, I...we aren't going anywhere, okay?" The younger woman couldn't help but smile, even as a few tears slid down her cheeks. "Regina?" The older woman returned the smile, "Yes Dear?" Emma faltered at the term of endearment, momentarily forgetting what she wanted to say. A strange feeling of warmth flooded through her. She had barely gotten used to the moments when her parents would use such expressions, but this felt a little different. It made her stomach twist and turn in a pleasant way and her heart seemed to dance to a whole new beat. Emma simply couldn't place the feeling under a category and since it was evoked from Regina she didn't read much into it. She recalled what she had wanted to say, "I just...thank you. For everything, you know? I...I can't put into words...like it's really..." The older woman didn't need to hear the words to know what Emma meant. She smiled and walked over to her, "I know. You are very welcome." Regina pushed the blonde lightly through the threshold and outside, "Now get out of my house Miss Swan, before your mother has a fit. And I'll see both you and Henry tomorrow at 1pm?" Emma's face went from beaming to confusion, "Tomorrow?" Regina placed her hands on her hips patiently "Tomorrow is Friday..." Realisation hit Emma like a truck and the sudden genuine look on her face made Regina's heart skip a beat, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."  
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Emma slowly climbed her way up the stairs to her Mother's apartment. She wasn't looking forward to the lecture she was sure to receive upon entering the place that was meant to be home, but felt more like a prison. She was constantly trying to smooth things over with Mary-Margaret, but the two just clashed, always unable to come to any sort of agreement. She felt as though Snow was trying to keep her on a leash, especially since the incident; like she was trying to make up for a lost childhood of discipline. No matter how many times she had told her mother that they had both missed that boat, Mary-Margaret was relentless; always wanting to know where Emma was, what she was doing, who she was with and when she'd be back. She tried to push those thoughts out of her mind as she hesitantly twisted the door handle. She wanted to go into the house with a clear head. Upon entering, she was met with an empty room. It was quiet, the faint smell of coffee lingering in the air making her taste buds tingle in delight. She quietly slipped off Regina's shoes and left them by the door, then padded softly over to the kitchen where she began preparing a cup of the warm beverage in the hopes it would help her remain calm. She was had just collected all items required for a good cup of coffee when she heard footsteps descending the stairs followed by a familiar voice, "Where the hell have you been Emma?! I have been worried sick all day! You didn't answer any of my calls and you can imagine my surprise when Henry called Regina but it's you who picks up. What were you even doing there! I thought you two had a falling out at the hospital! I had to call David at the station and he was about to go out and search for you! Emma you have to tell me where you're going before you leave! You cant just-" By then, Snow had made her way to the bench and was seated on a stool. The blonde pressed her palms against the cold surface and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, but she couldn't contain it any longer, "Mom! Stop!" The sudden outburst forced the pixie haired woman to close her mouth. "I went for a run and I left my phone in my bedroom. I stopped at Regina's to smooth things over with her and ended up staying for lunch-" The brunette opened her mouth to speak but Emma silenced her with a raised finger, "No. It's my turn to talk. Look, I understand that you're trying to make up for lost time but I am an adult now. I'm not the kid that you so desperately want me to be. Unfortunately we both missed that boat and I want you to know that I now understand why you did what you did, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm all grown up now. You can't keep me on a lead, pulling me back whenever I go somewhere or do something that you don't particularly like. I just feel like..." Emma lightly put her hand around her own throat to emphasise her point, "...like sometimes you're choking me." Mary-Margaret seemed a little hurt by the truth but Emma knew she needed to say it. But the hurt on the other woman's face was gone almost as soon as it had come, now replaced with anger, "We are just trying to help you get better. You are obviously not in a good place right now and we want to fix that. By restricting parts of your life we are able to monitor how you are going, it's all for your own benefit." Emma was bubbling with rage, "No! That is not fair and it will not benefit me. I know I'm not okay right now and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for feeling as shit as I do and I'm confused and upset all the time and it frustrates me and the only person who seems to genuinely understand and care enough about me is the one woman who you are reluctant to let me see! You cant 'restrict parts of my life.' It is my life and you're delusional if you think you can treat me like the child you wish you had. You are just taking such a ridiculous approach to this." Emma flinched when her mother slammed her hand on the tabletop, her cheeks turning red and if this were a cartoon the blonde was sure that there would be steam spurting from her ears, "Emma Swan. You cannot expect to be treated like an adult when you act like such a petulant child! Always running away from every little issue that comes up and even going as far as trying to end your own life. That was a selfish and childish thing to do and it is tearing this family apart. We need to fix what has been ruined...I want you to start seeing Archie. If you wont listen to me or your Father, then maybe you'll listen to a professional." Emma wanted to laugh because she knew how Regina would react upon hearing someone refer to Archie as a 'professional'. Emma remembered the older woman mentioning, on more than one occasion, that 'that idiot got his PHD from a curse.' But in that moment the blonde felt crushed. Broken. Shattered all over again. She felt like a disappointment and she hated that feeling almost as much as she hated herself. She hated how everything her mother had said was true. Emma wanted to fight back but she suddenly felt her energy levels deplete. She finally broke, shoulders sagging and head drooping "Fine. I give up. I'll see Archie...if that's what makes you happy." Satisfied the pixie haired woman smiled down at her hands, "See it isn't that hard to cooperate. I'll call and make the appointment." When Snow's only answer was a small sniffle, she looked up and immediately saw a change in her daughter and realised that she had done something wrong. She hated fighting with her daughter like this, but she just wanted Emma to feel better. She just never knew the right things to say but she wanted to try, "Emma I-" The attempt was useless. The blonde was so clearly fighting back tears when she glanced up with a look of anger mixed with pain, "Mary-Margaret...just...go." Snow obliged, not wanting to stir the conflict, "I'm going to visit David at the station...I'll see you later." She left Emma alone in the kitchen without looking back; knowing that if she stayed, the situation would get far worse than it already was, if that was even possible.  
As soon as he hears the argument die down and the front door click shut, Henry rises from his hiding spot on the fifth highest step and descends the rest of the way down. He quietly pads over to where his mother is standing, hunched over, sobbing softly. He slides up next to her and wraps his left arm around her waist giving her a half hug and making his presence known. Emma knows Henry has his arm around her and yet she is numb to the touch. She turns to look at him and upon seeing his concerned but hopeful face she breaks into a full on cry and sinks to her knees in front of him, pulling him close into an embrace. "Hey Ma it's okay. You can talk to me." His only reply was more sobs so he pressed on, "Mom, I heard everything..." At this, the blonde forced herself to stop crying and snapped her head up to look at him, unsure of what to say, "Henry...I'm so-" The kid cut her off and sunk down to his knees so he was level with his mother, "No, listen. They told me that it was just an accident...that you fell and hit your head really hard...but I am not that stupid. I know you're clumsy but not that clumsy. I know what happened and at first I was angry about it. I was upset that you would leave me and you would leave Mom because we both need you. But I understand now-" Emma shook her head rapidly, "Henry I am really sorry...I...I thought that it would just be easier. Your Mom is way better at taking care of you and I was just getting in the way so I thought it would be easier for the both of you if I just..." Knowing she was talking to a child she had to choose her words carefully, "...If I just wasn't around as much." The boy grabbed his mother's hands and held them tightly, "I know that's what you think but I need you here. And so does Mom. You're my Ma! I need both of my mothers." Emma's heart caught in her throat and she couldn't manage to form words, just opening and closing her mouth. Henry continued, "And you're my Mom's best friend. Even though she calls you an idiot she really does need you. When you were in the coma, she didn't leave the hospital. She even slept there. She needs you just as much as I do." All this talk of the older woman and the sickly strong smell of coffee assaulting her nose and all the emotions swimming around in Emma's brain made her remember something and she burst into tears all over again. "Ma what is it? What's wrong?" The clockwork in her mind was working in overdrive, too fast for her to comprehend, "I...I can't remember things Henry...I didn't even remember that we went out every Friday...for 'Family Lunch'. How do I not remember something that important?" Henry shook his head, "It isn't your fault!" The blonde dropped her head and sighed. She spoke the next words so quietly that Henry barely heard them, "I...I forgot how your Mom likes her coffee..." Emma didn't know why this fact hurt her so much, "I know it seems stupid but...the gap memories Henry...the small things...I cant remember them..." Henry could feel the hurt radiating off his mother, "It isn't stupid Mom. I think I know what you mean by 'gap memories'...they're like the things that happen that most people would find insignificant or unimportant, but you think that they are just as valuable as all the other memories, for example; how Mom takes her coffee." Emma smiled, tears still dancing down her cheeks, "Kid you are way too smart for your own good, you know that?" Henry smiled back, relieved that the blonde seemed to be calming down. "Yeah I know. You guys always tell me that." He stood from his position and held his hands out to help Emma up, "Come on. I'll show you how Mom makes her coffee. She always says how only two people in this world can make it as delicious as she can; myself...and you" The woman felt a little energy return to her body. She made a mental note to remind Henry that she is lucky to have him a little more often.  
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Henry and Emma are still in the kitchen when Snow returns. She takes a seat on the lounge chair that is facing the opposite direction to the two others present, who were watching her with baited breath. She spoke loudly so the blonde could hear; "I called in and booked the appointment with Doctor Hopper. You have to be there on Sunday at 10am. Don't think you can back out of it now because the arrangements have been made." Mary-Margaret knew it was harsh but if it would help her daughter in her recovery then it was worth it.  
Emma took in the information and it hit her like a truck. She felt trapped and caged all over again. She started to panic. This was something she couldn't get out of and she needed to get away. She needed to just...run. Now. Henry watched his mothers face change and her eyes go to that place. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He glanced over to the back of Mary-Margaret's head hoping that she could sense his frustration. He blindly reached out to place a comforting hand on his Mom's arm but she was already gone. He turned and saw his mother running, but not out the front door like he had expected. No, she was running up the stairs. With one last glare at the brunette woman who seemed oblivious to Emma's sudden movements, he walked after the blonde, feeling tears sting his eyes.  
He stopped just outside Emma's door and pressed his ear against the hard wood, listening to the hustling and bustling going on inside the room. Henry swallowed and blinked a few times in attempts to make the tears disappear; he had to have his strong face on if he wanted to convince his mother not to leave town. Just the idea of her being gone tore his heart in two. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open, "Ma you can't just-" He stopped himself in his tracks. He had fully expected her to be backing a suitcase with anything she needed to go and start a new life in some city that he had never heard of, but she wasn't. She was...looking for something. She was searching so intently that she hadn't seen her son enter the room. Henry wanted nothing more than to comfort his mom, who was rushing about, eyes cold and dark, breaths rapid and uneven, causing her body to shudder. He wanted to somehow help her, but all he could do was watch her panic. Emma continued searching frantically until she gasped and picked up something from underneath a pile of clothes on the floor; her phone. Henry watched as she sat on the edge of the bed, legs involuntarily bouncing on the balls of her feet. She dialed a number and brought the phone up to her ear. She looked so on edge that she may explode right there in front of Henry, but then something remarkable happened. He heard a muffled voice answer the phone and as soon as that voice came through, Emma changed. She visibly relaxed, her shoulders dropping a few inches. He watched his mother return to him; eyes once again warm and full of life, breaths steady and the shivering stopped. Henry, wide eyed, was itching to know just who could bring Emma out of her panic by just saying 'hello', but he thought for a moment and had a pretty good guess. Emma closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, a hint of a smile playing on her lips, "Regina."  
Emma still looked a little burdened by sadness but when Henry tried to think of a word to describe her in this moment all he could think of was relief. As soon as she heard that voice through the phone he practically saw the wave of respite wash over his mother and lull her into serenity. Henry made his presence known when he hesitantly stepped further into the room and plopped down next the blonde. She smiled at him before wrapping her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in tight. "No, no...everything is fine...I just...uh, h-how are you?" Henry tried to be mature about this, but he simply could not hold back a knowing smirk. He pressed his face into Emma's side, playing it off as an act of affection, effectively hiding his smile. He almost laughed at the way his blonde mother was totally incapable of admitting to his adoptive mother that she called simply to hear her voice. "That's good...oh. Oh I uh...I called because..." She looked down at her son, wide eyes pleading for help in the situation, but he simply smirked in response. Emma gave him an accusing look and shoved him playfully with her shoulder. "I called because...because uh...oh! Henry wants to talk to you. Here he is now!" Henry shook his head smiling but Emma threw the phone in his lap and stood up, backing away from the phone looking like a lovesick teenager who had just been dared to call their crush. The kid rolled his eyes and scooped up the object and pressed it to his ear, "Hey Mom...no I am fine, I just wanted to talk to you I guess. I miss you..." Henry suddenly looked up at the blonde woman, "No Mom, she didn't mention that!...I know she's an idiot, you've told me that many times before...yeah I will...no...tomorrow?...Okay I will see you there! I miss you so much...okay bye...love you too Mom. Here's Emma again." Henry held the phone out to his blonde mother, who froze. Seeing her son's eyebrow rise in suspicion she hesitantly reached for the phone. "Hello again..." Emma smiled into the phone and returned to the bed, this time lying down fully, her feet dangling off the edge, swaying about as she spoke to the older woman. Henry left the room with a smile from ear to ear. He has always suspected that both his Mom's had the hots for each other, but never had he been so sure. He had known for a while that his brunette mother was head over heels; she had a harder time hiding things from him. His blonde bother was a little more difficult to decode, but now he knew he could be sure. The two were totally in love and he would have been grossed out if it hadn't been for the fact that he was extremely excited at the prospect of a new operation.  
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Emma yawned and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as she walked into Granny's with Henry at 12:50pm. Staying up on the phone for hours last night probably wasn't the greatest idea. She didn't tell the older woman about the fight with Mary-Margaret, deciding it wasn't worth bringing up. They spoke until Regina had fallen asleep mid sentence. She had a bitch of a time trying to cooperate when Henry tried to wake her up, but when he reminded her of today's lunch, she was up and ready in less than 10 minutes.  
They entered the diner and selected the farthest booth, snuggled nicely in the back corner. Henry slid into the seat first, followed by Emma, leaving the opposite bench free for the older woman when she arrived, which was within the next 5 minutes. When she entered the building, Emma's smile was so radiant that Henry thought he might squeal right then and there. He contained his excitement by inhaling deeply; if he was going to get his moms together, he needed to be subtle. Regina spotted the already seated pair and her smile was just as brilliant, forcing Henry to really concentrate on pretending to be just as oblivious as the two women were. Emma looked over Regina's body and her attire sent shivers through the younger woman's whole being. Her whole being. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment and she had to cough a little to shake herself free of...whatever that was. She stood from the booth, allowing Henry through, and he gave his brunette mother a bone-crushing hug that was returned with equal enthusiasm. Emma felt a hint of guilt watching the heartwarming scene, as she was the reason that the two had been separated for so long. All her guilt washed away though, when the older woman looked up at her with a smile, while resting her chin on the top of Henry's head, "Good afternoon Emma." The blonde couldn't help but grin, "Hey Regina. I see you decided to wear the jeans..." Judging the way Emma's eyes kept drifting back down to denim clad legs an her inability to speak, Regina knew it was a good decision to wear the skintight jeans. She kissed the top of Henry's head, partly because she missed being able to do that and partly to hide how she was smirking at the way Emma's face had flushed red. Henry returned to his place in the booth and Regina took a seat opposite him. The blonde squeezed her eyes shut for a moment trying to force the intruding images, of the older woman and those damn jeans, out of her head. What feelings within the blonde those images evoked scared Emma out of her mind. Sure she had fantasized about the woman before...who wouldn't? A strong, powerful and very attractive woman...it was impossible for Emma's mind to not stray. But this feeling was different to all those times. She felt whatever this emotion was, in her entire body. She felt it in her very soul. Emma was ignorant to this emotion so she chose to ignore it and sit back down next to her son.  
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Emma was satisfied simply sitting there listening to Regina and Henry as they caught up. They spoke of school, homework, Henry's health and all things in between. He asked her about work and renovations. Emma chimed in curiously, "I didn't know you were renovating?" Henry smiled, already forming a plan to get both his Moms to spend more time together, "Well it isn't really renovating, we are just re-painting Mom's study. Maybe you could come over and help?" Henry looked at his mother, "Oh Mom can she please come and help! It would get the job done quicker with the extra hands!" Regina was hesitant; knowing she shouldn't allow it, as the more time spent with the blonde, the harder it was to keep her feelings at bay. "Oh Henry...I don't know...I mean, Emma is a very busy woman and probably has better things to do." Henry pouted and whined, "Mom please!" The blonde woman cut in, "I'm not busy at all. And nothing is better than spending time with my awesome little man..." She glanced at Regina, "...and his equally awesome Mom." They both shared a smile and Henry watched. If he was looking for any further clarification that the two had feelings for each other, small interactions like this were more than enough. Emma suddenly stood from her chair; "I'll go order us some lunch then? What shall we be having today?" Henry was quick to answer with his regular order of a burger and fries. Regina was more reserved, ordering a caesar salad. Emma turned and walked over to where Ruby was standing on the other side of the counter to order their meals. Henry watched as his brunette mother smiled after Emma with such adoration it made him giddy and he just couldn't keep it in any longer, "I knew it." Regina turned her attention to her son, a confused expression donning her face. "I totally knew it this whole time! You do love her." His mother scrunched her nose up still not understanding, "Excuse me?" Henry smiled, "You love her." He gazed expectantly at her. "Henry...who are you talking about?" The boy rolled his eyes and deadpanned. He couldn't fathom how such an intelligent woman could be so dense sometimes. "Mom. You love Emma." This struck a nerve; he saw it on her face. Her lip twitched ever so slightly and her eyes bugged out, making her look like a deer in headlights. "What! Henry that's...that is...absurd! Where would you get such an idea!?" He chuckled at how defensive she suddenly was, "Mom relax, its okay. You don't have to deny it. Before Ma had her accident you were both so close. And then there was the minor setback of the incident and how she was mean to you, but even after that you are still taking care of her. When it comes to loving her, I'm afraid you just aren't very subtle; and yet you're both still so oblivious to it." Regina was absolutely baffled, she found it hard to speak, "I...Henry...I don't...I do not love Emma!" It would seem as though she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to persuade Henry and even she knew her attempts sounded pathetic. "Mom!" Henry spoke a little too loud so some heads turned, luckily none of which were Emma's. He leaned across the table and spoke softer, "Mom. Stop denying it. I mean seriously, look at you. You wore jeans...you never wear jeans! You wore them because you knew that Ma would like them!" The woman scoffed, her eyes looking anywhere but the calculating gaze of her son, "I did no such thing! Women are allowed to give each other fashion tips! They do it all the time! So what if Emma recommended a pair-" Henry cut in, not able to listen to more excuses, "What do you mean so what!? You look good in them and you know you do. If I can see that you look good then guess who else will?. Hmm, I wonder who it could be? Oh! Yeah that's right! Emma! You totally dressed to impress today." Regina would have scolded the boy for his sarcastic and accusing tone but she was far too busy thinking of an argument to do so. "Henry. I wore the jeans because your mother, an experienced 'jeans wearer', said they were a more confortable option for a casual lunch." Henry leaned in a little further and folded his arms, almost as if to challenge his mother, "Mom...you are sounding quite defensive there. One would suspect you are trying to hide something." Regina wanted to be mad but how could she be. She had been caught out, but there was no way she could allow her son to know. She already couldn't deal with the fact that Emma didn't reciprocate her feelings, she definitely didn't need her own son viewing her as a, how they say, 'queer.' "No. I didn't-I don't...is this why you were so adamant that Miss Swan come over to help us paint?!" The boy didn't want his mother to disallow Emma from coming over to help out with the renovation, so he ignored that comment. "Please just...shush! It's oh-kay. I'm not blind. I can see it in your eyes and I can see it in hers. You don't have to lie to me if you're afraid that I don't approve. Because I totally do. We are in a new day and age here...I don't know how it was looked upon where you're from, but it is generally accepted in this world...you know...a girl liking a girl and stuff, its totally normal." The woman's heart swelled at hearing her son saying such words of kindness and acceptance. She felt so very proud in this moment, but she still couldn't admit how she felt. That would make it all the more real. Knowing her son and his habit of high hopes, she continued to deny. "Henry, you need to stop being silly. You must get this ridiculous idea out of your head this instant. And when she comes back over here don't you dare go interrogating her too! We are here to have a civilized lunch." He raised both his eyebrows at her from across the table and she raised hers equally as high, challenging him to disobey her wishes. Something caught Henry's eye and he sat back in the chair. "She likes you too Mom. Watch." He turned, bringing his legs up onto the seat, leaving no room for Emma to sit back down. "Henry don't you dare mention-" Regina zipped her mouth shut when she noticed the blonde return, "Okay guys, food should be ready really soon." She noticed Henry's feet on the leather, "Kid get your feet off the chair please." By the time his feet slipped down and hit the ground, Emma had already plopped down next to Regina, sliding right up beside her, probably closer than necessary but neither made an effort to move apart. "See that Regina? Good. Parenting." The younger woman punctuated the last two words with a poke to the brunette's elbow. "I learn from the best right? Eh?" Emma nudged the older woman with her shoulder and Regina couldn't help but smile at the blonde's compliment. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her son grinning smugly so she chose to simply ignore him.  
They spoke for a while; discussing when they would start painting Regina's study, colour pallets and furniture rearrangements. Their lunch came soon enough and they all tucked in, satisfied simply being in each other's company. Regina leaned slightly to her right and whispered to Emma, "It's...it's nice to see you eating properly...well, almost properly." The blonde swallowed her mouthful and she too leaned in closer to the other woman, "Well I can't possibly resist a grilled cheese..." She turned her head to face the brunette and only just realised how close they were to each other. "...from...from Granny's...now can I?" Emma's breath hitched in her throat as she noticed that Regina's lips were mere inches from her own and she simply couldn't help but stare at them.  
Regina too noticed how close they had ended up, the urge to just lean in and close that distance was strong and it bubbled in her belly. But there was that one pesky issue; she couldn't love this woman because this woman didn't love her back. But the way Emma was staring at plump cherry lips gave Regina the slightest flicker of hope, a flicker that she tried to extinguish before it was crushed not by her own accord. The moment was interrupted when Emma cleared her throat, "I uhh...I need to...use the bathroom. I'll be right back." The blonde left and rounded the corner so she was out of sight. She had to stop and rest against a wall to regain control of her breathing. She still couldn't exactly put her finger on the emotion she was feeling and whatever had just happened needed to be forgotten. Once satisfied with the pace of her breathing, Emma continued on her way and entered the bathroom to freshen up.  
"I saw that." Henry looked smug as ever. Regina glared at him, "We were just talking about something that you needn't hear about." The kid decided not to push that particular matter, but press on with others, "She likes you back Mom I promise." Regina sighed and made a face fit for a 7 year old about to throw a tantrum, "Henry! What do I have to do to get you to forget this nonsense? I know you're just trying to be helpful but I truly don't have feelings for-" "Mom she ran to you." Henry interrupted her, needing to get to his point before his blonde mother returned. "I beg your pardon?" Henry released a frustrated huff, "Yesterday, Ma and Snow had a fight and she was really upset. I looked at her and...and I saw it in her eyes Mom. Her whole face changed...I know that face...I knew exactly what she was thinking...she was going to run. And she did run. She ran all the way to her bedroom." Regina frowned in confusion, "I don't understand." Henry deadpanned, "Mom. Let me finish. So anyway, she ran to her room and I followed her. I walked through her door expecting her to be packing her bags to leave...but she wasn't. She was running around all frantically trying to find her phone. And when she found it, she...she called you. She ran to you." Regina looked dubious. She didn't want to get her hopes up but she couldn't help the way her heart skipped about 17 beats at the information her son had just shared with her. "Henry...she...she...no she told me that she only called because you wanted to talk to me." The kid rolled his eyes over dramatically, "Mom. Look at me. I am more than capable of picking up a phone and calling you myself. She called to talk to you. You should have seen her when you answered. As soon as she heard your voice she just...she looked so happy and her whole body just stopped doing that thing that happens when she's upset...you know how her eyes...like...don't focus on anything and her body trembles all over. Yeah, well as soon as she heard your voice through the phone she sighed and smiled and sat down on her bed. She was just so...so relieved." Regina was about to speak but Henry continued, "Mom she runs away to try and find an escape. She runs to get away...she ran to you...to escape. Mom don't you see? You are her escape." Regina couldn't speak. She couldn't even breathe. She didn't have a chance to say anything, even if she could form words in this moment, because the blonde had returned, sliding back into the seat next to Regina. "Hey guys, I was thinking...what? Why are you both looking at me like that..." Emma looked back and forth from Henry's shit eating grin, to Regina's look of complete confusion mixed with something deeper that the blonde couldn't quite comprehend. "Okay, you Mills people are weird..." The older woman shook herself from her stupor. She had momentarily gotten lost between feelings of disbelief and pride and...love. She cleared her throat, "Sorry we were just talking about how...how hideous your leather jacket is." She gritted her teeth, turned to her son and gave him a pointed look, "Weren't. We. Henry?" Noticing the threat in his mother's eyes he decided to play along, "Absolutely." Emma scoffed, "Well even you admitted that it is soft so it can't be that bad!"  
The small group continued to chat for a while, the two women gradually and subconsciously moving closer together. They planned to start painting Regina's office the very next day. Over the course of the rest of lunch the older woman couldn't stop thinking about what Henry had said, while the blonde couldn't stop trying to figure out what that one buzzing feeling bouncing around inside of her was. They both, however, kept their thoughts to themselves and focused on simply having a nice time. The three of them, a family, tucked away in the corner of a diner, it all seemed so simple; Emma felt comfortable, Regina felt content and Henry, looking from one mother to the other, felt safe. Right now nobody could disrupt them or hurt them or take anything away from them. It was a moment of serenity in the cacophony of this crazy town.  
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Regina had been clearing out her study all morning, preparing for the long and tedious day ahead. As much as she was looking forward to the company of her son and his blonde mother, she knew how boring and repetitive painting a bunch of walls could be, with the undercoat, two layers of colour and the hours of waiting for it to dry in between. She was also worried about spending a whole day confined to a single room with the one woman that she was supposed to be avoiding. And to top it all off, she hadn't had the time to go out and grab any supplies from the supermarket, so the fridge was practically empty. Everyone knows that if you ask people for help with manual labor, such as moving out or painting a house, that you must provide food and drinks; and she had neither. She was pretty sure there was a rulebook about it somewhere. The mayor was in such an awful mood, having woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Nothing was working this morning; she had tried to move a set of draws and the lowest one shot out and smacked her right in the shin. She then went to the kitchen to grab an ice back, only to stub her toe on the corner of the bench. She was about to call Emma and just cancel the whole day to prevent further disaster, but before she could, she heard the front door open along with the rustling of plastic bags. Regina released a frustrated sigh, wishing that she could shake herself from this mood. She rounds the corner into the entryway and spots her guests carrying a large amount of varied shopping bags.  
Emma kicked her shoes off and then looked up, noticing the older woman drawing nearer. Her mind went crazy trying to figure out how the woman could still look like a queen wearing only calf length leggings and a dark purple zip up hoodie. Her hair was different today, only just long enough to be tied up into a short ponytail, leaving a few stubborn wisps falling around her face. Emma liked it, but then again, she was pretty sure that she would like any variation of the older woman's hair because she was just so damn capable of pulling it off without flaw. Henry was the first to greet his brunette mother, "Morning Mom!" He gave her the best hug he could with his hands full of shopping bags and then moved straight into the kitchen. Emma, chipper as ever, mimicked her son, much to Regina's surprise. "Good morning Madame Mayor!" She hugged her, arms full of shopping, then left the older woman dazed and confused in the hallway. Only when Henry poked his head into the entryway to call for his brunette mother, did she follow them into the kitchen, still rather puzzled as to what had her two guests in such a good mood and what on earth was in all those bags.  
Upon entering the kitchen, Regina noticed that the plastic bags had been unpacked and were sitting in neat piles on the bench. Both Emma and Henry are grinning at her, beckoning her to come and inspect the items. As Regina came closer the blonde points to each pile as she explains them, "So I received your text message this morning and I followed the instructions. So there you have your two tins of the white undercoat and your three tins of colour; one tin is the few shades darker for the feature wall. I think that I picked up the right colours. Henry helped me check them so if they're wrong you can be angry at him and not me." Henry snorted, "Mom loves me more! She would never be angry at me for a stupid mistake that you made!" In response, Emma stuck her tongue out at him and then smiled, "Relax kid, I know." Regina examined the paint tins and looked up to find expectant eyes watching her, "They are the right ones. You are both safe from my wraith." The younger woman high-fived her son and then continued explaining the different piles, "Alright, in the paint pile we also have paintbrushes, rollers, and the paint trays. We also got the drop sheets to protect the floor and furnature. Oh, oh! It wasn't on your list but we found this blue tape that goes around the wooden frames of windows and in the cracks where the wall meets the ceiling, because we don't trust ourselves not to accidently get paint on them." Regina nodded in agreement with that point and watched as the blonde sidestepped over to a new pile, "Okay, so after we got all of the stuff from your list we decided to stop at the supermarket and pick up some groceries for the day. In this pile we have the snacks; bananas, apples, crackers, chips and a few types of dip. They are just to munch on if we find ourselves feeling peckish during the day. Oh, also we have a bottle of water each, because we figured that bottles are safer to have lying around in a setting where we will be moving around quite a lot." Regina wanted to say something but Henry pointed to the next pile and spoke over her, "Next, we have lunch! Fresh bread rolls from the bakery and we have chicken and salad to go on them. Ma decided that we should go for a healthy lunch because she knows how much you don't like me eating sugar-loaded deliciousness." Regina rolled her eyes as the blonde took over once more, "Alright, next is dinner. Here we have a whole bunch of ingredients that I think can be used to make pasta. I had absolutely no idea what goes into pasta, and your son was no help at all, so we just grabbed a whole bunch of stuff. You guys have both witnessed the horror of my cooking ability, so we are asking that you make it for us. It can be your payment for our help. We help you paint and you provide us with an awesome dinner, because that way we all win. Is that okay with you?" The brunette woman wanted to say so much but all she could manage to do was nod. "Great! Moving on. Here we have celebratory drinks for when we finish the job; champagne for you, beer for me and soda for the kid." Henry then picked up a shopping bag and held it out for his brunette mother to take, "These are the clothes you let Emma borrow the other day. They are washed and folded." Regina took the bag and shot her son a pointed look when she noticed the smirk on his face. The blonde spoke again, "And finally we have Henry's backpack. It contains his pajamas, some spare clothes, brand new comic books and whatever else a boy needs to stay at his Mom's house...oh and I think I put the joggers that you let me borrow in there too. And that's about it. Sound good?"  
Regina was still in a state of confusion and shock but she finally found her voice, "Emma! That...all this...must have cost you so much! All this food...and Henry's comics are quite pricey! And this champagne is top of the range! It's far too expensive! All of this..." She gestured to the bench overflowing with items, "...you did not have to do this Emma. I...I will go grab my wallet. I might have some cash on me." As Regina made to rush out of the room, the blonde was quick to run around the bench and grab her arm to spin her around. "Regina! There is no way you're paying me. Of course I didn't have to buy any of that...but I wanted to. That was a decision that I made. And besides, you already agreed that dinner is your payment!" The older woman was ready to continue arguing, but when the blonde raised her eyebrows in challenge, she knew she wouldn't win this one. Sensing the older woman giving up, Emma smiled. "And I only get the best of quality for my two favorite people!" She walked back over to the bench but turned around when Regina spoke, "Two...favorite people..." The blonde looked at her as though it was the most apparent thing in the universe, "Well duh. Henry and yourself. My son and my best friend." Emma turned back to face Henry, missing the shock that was now present on Regina's face along with how her eyes began shining as bright as the sun. Henry didn't miss it though.  
"Okay! Work stations everyone! Regina, you put the food away because know how ODC you get when it comes to your kitchen. Henry and I will go take all the paint stuff into your study and get ready to start. We have a massive day ahead of us but we are gonna make it super fun and unforgettable, right kid?" Henry beamed at this mother, "Right!" Emma picked up the all the paint tins she could carry and started heading towards the study, "Okay then Mills family, lets rock and roll." Henry followed his blonde mother, arms full of supplies. As he passed Regina, he wiggled his eyebrows up and down and smiled cheekily, "Best friend hmm?" The woman tsked then sighed, shoving her son playfully. She rounded the kitchen bench and begun packing lunch and dinner away. Next, while she was preparing the snacks, she could hear Emma's muffled voice and her son's uncontrollable laughter from down the hall and she could feel her bad mood being driven away by the positive energy emanating from the two; this day wouldn't so be terrible after all.  
Regina enters the study and places snacks and water on a coffee table that has been covered in plastic sheets to protect it from stray flecks of paint. Upon entering, she notices that the blonde has removed her maroon sweater and discarded of it over the back of a chair. The older woman doesn't want to ruin her own jacket, so she takes it off and tosses it so it lands on right top of Emma's. "Hand me a roller and lets get this started then shall we?"  
\----------  
The three had painted all through the morning, breaking for the occasional snack here and there. The undercoat was complete and one layer of the beige colour was almost done. Emma checked the time on her phone and fist pumped the air when it was time for lunch, "Guys I'm going to go make us some lunch." Henry stopped painting, "I'm coming to help you." The kid ran out of the room and headed for the kitchen. "Would you like to come too?" Regina turned and smiled up from her position crouched down to paint the lower wall, "I think I'll finish this part up. Give me a yell when it's ready please Dear." Emma stood tall and saluted, "Aye aye Captain Mills." As the blonde marched out of the room Regina shook her head and chuckled. This task sure would have been boring if it wasn't for that insufferable idiot.  
After a good ten minutes later, Regina heard her name being called from the kitchen. She followed the smell of chicken and fresh bread to find a delicious looking lunch being handed to her. "I am thoroughly impressed that you know how to make a sandwich." They all sat down at the dining table and Emma rolled her eyes, "Ha. Ha. Regina, you know, your level of humor never ceases to amaze me." The older woman wiggled her eyebrows, "Well I am rather amazing, aren't I?" Emma sighed dramatically, "Well...yeah...but that is not the point I was making here." Henry watched his two mothers converse over lunch and it was making him both giddy and frustrated. They are so perfect together...so how could the not goddamn see it?!  
They finished their lunch and then cleaned away the mess. "I just can't fathom how you two could make such a mess...we had sandwiches." Henry started laughing, "Well...Ma had a few...issues...cutting up the tomato and she got angry so she threw it and then that knocked over the mayonnaise which then sent the lettuce rolling and-" The blonde woman interrupted him by covering his mouth with her palm, "Okay kid, that's quite enough from you." Regina simply rolled her eyes at their shenanigans. "You two stay here and do try not to destroy the house." Emma looked up, confused, "Where are you heading out to?" Regina, who was almost out of the room, cast a look over her shoulder, "I just need to go out and buy another tin of paint. The one we have wont last a whole coat." With that, Regina left the other two to their own devices.  
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Not an hour later she returned to her mansion carrying two more tins of paint; one beige and one darker beige. As soon as the crossed the threshold she heard music. It was so loud that she could barely hear herself think. Dumping the tins by the front door, she crept over to the study and poked her head around the door. Her hand flew up and covered her mouth so the two idiots, who were currently jumping around the room and singing into paintbrushes couldn't hear her the laughs that were only just being confined to a low volume.  
Meanwhile, mother and son had not a care in the world. They were blasting Smash Mouth through Emma's portable speakers and dancing and singing and having an awesome time. "I thought love was more or less a given thing. But the more I gave the less I got ohhhh yeah, HENRY TAKE IT AWAY!" When his mother pointed at him he started singing at the top of his lungs, "What's the use in trying? All you get is pain. When I wanted sunshine I got rain!" When the song hit the chorus, they sung in unison, "AND THEN I SAW HER FACE! NOW I'M A BELIEVER! NOT A TRACE, OF DOUBT IN MY MIND! IM IN LOVE OOOOO, IM A BELIEVER, I COULDN'T LEAVE HER IF I TRIED!" Regina tried to stifle an outburst of laughter when she saw Henry jump up on the coffee table and pretend to be playing a trumped, to which Emma responded to with her air guitar. Emma then ran over to him and lifted him over her shoulder, spinning around and around as they continued singing the verse and the chorus. But while they were swiveling, Emma noticed something by the door. She stopped dead, mid sentence, "AND THEN I SAW...her...face..." She put the kid down, who too had noticed the woman in the doorway. Regina stepped fully into the room, hands on hips, trying her best to look serious. The music was still blaring. Henry looked from his blonde mother to his brunette mother, and back again. Emma looked as though she was about to die of embarrassment. But then the weirdest thing happened. Regina suddenly broke free of character, picked up the nearest paintbrush and belted out, "NOW I'M A BELIEVER YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAAHHHH!" After the initial shock, the other two joined the brunette woman in singing and dancing like there was no tomorrow, until the song faded out. "Well that was by far the most interesting thing I have come home to. You are both such...such idiots." Emma and Henry both got that really defensive look on their face, the resemblance clear, and both started talking at the same time, "At least we didn't make a mess-" "We were just having some fun-" Both of them stopped and looked at each other, then at Regina. They all burst into a fit of laughter. When Emma had recovered she spoke, "How did you even hit those notes? I mean...that's impressive." Henry chimed in too, "Yeah Mom, I never knew you could sing." Regina's face flushed a brilliant red, which contrasted against her tan cheeks, "I can't sing." The blonde pointed at her accusingly. "LIE! You have a hidden talent! Don't worry I do too. I can play the ukulele...well could sort of play. Actually I only learned one song...but it still counts." Henry's face lit up with this new information, "I have one you know? Mom got it for me when I was younger and I never really learned it. You should show us your song!" Now it was Emma's turn to flush red, "Maybe some other time kid...but right now we need to finish painting this room, yeah?" The kid grumbled an agreement and they all got back to work, the music turned down a little but still loud enough to jam out to.  
A few songs and a lot of painting later Emma swore that she heard something familiar. "Is this...oh god it is..." She ducked over to the speakers and turned the volume up full blast, much to the other twos disapproval. The blonde beamed and watched as recognition swept over Regina's face and she gasped, "I haven't heard this song in hears!" The younger woman picked up a clean brush and held it up preparing for the verse, "You had better sing with me or else I will-DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART!" She held out the brush for the other woman to sing into, and with no hesitation whatsoever she sung the next line, taking on the part of the female voice, "I COULDN'T IF I TRIED!" Emma's smile was contagious as she sung, "OH HONEY IF I GET RESTLESS..." Regina picked up her own paintbrush "BABY YOURE NOT THAT KIND." While this was happening, Henry just saw there and watched the scene take place. No one else was here and yet he was the most embarrassed he had ever been. He had to yell to be heard over the music, "I have the two lamest moms in the whole entire universe!" The two women danced over to where he was and sung in unison all the while pointing at him, "OOOOOO NOBODY KNOWS IT!" All the kid could do was hide his face in his hands. The ladies laughed and continued performing, now standing back to back,  
"WHEN I WAS DOWN"  
"I WAS YOUR CLOWN."  
"OOOOOO NOBODY KNOWS IT, NOBODY KNOOWWWS"  
Emma stopped and dramatically looked sideways at Regina, "RIGHT FROM THE START..." The brunette mimicked the younger woman's moves, "I GAVE YOU MY HEART, OOHH I GAVE YOU MY HEART." Regina scoffed when she saw Emma pretend to rip out her own heart. The blonde put on a look mixed with pain and horror as she held out a metaphorical heart and pulsed her fingers in and out in time with the beating heart noises she was making with her mouth. Regina wacked her hand out of the way and they continued dancing around the room, pulling stunts that one would stereotypically call 'Dad Dance Moves.'  
The two looked like they were having a wonderful time, acting as though they were children, but as Henry listened to the lyrics he face palmed; they were literally singing a love song to each other and they were still oblivious. Idiots.  
As the song ended, Emma dropped her paintbrush to for floor yelling something about a 'mic drop', while Regina left the room in laughter, to get a start on dinner. The blonde was about to follow her out but Henry stopped her, "Ma?" She turned, half of her body already out the door, "What's up kid?" She could sense an intense shift in his mood and this concerned her. Henry was initially going to interrogate his blonde mother, just as he had done with Regina, but something stopped him. "I...how are you feeling?" Emma frowned at the question and walked over to her son. She crouched before him and took his hands into her own, "Henry. I know things aren't exactly all rainbows and daisies right now, but I promise you that things will be okay soon. And right now, here in this moment on the space-time continuum or whatever it is, here with you and your Mom, I am happy. It's as simple as that. None of the bad stuff matters when I am with you guys. So you don't need to worry, okay kid?" Henry smiled. He didn't need to ask if Emma loved his mother, because he knew the answer, even if she didn't. "Okay Ma."  
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Regina looked up as the blonde woman walked into the room and plopped down on a stool at the bench. "How's dinner coming? It's already making my nostrils orgasm." The older woman deadpanned, not even fazed by the crass comment. "How eloquent of you. Dinner is coming along well." The brunette stopped stirring the sauce for a moment, watching as Emma swiveled on her chair like a child. She knew that she was failing her mission to suppress her feelings for this woman when something this small could bring a smile to her face. "Emma...thank you...for today. I wasn't having the best morning but as soon as you and Henry showed up...I've just had so much fun. You both made it all seem like so much less of a chore and I cant thank you enough for helping out." Emma glanced up at the woman across from her, "You don't have to thank us...or me. I'm glad you are enjoying yourself. It's good to see you smile." Regina frowned in confusion and Emma explained, "Oh I uh...I know that after the curse broke we were friends and I probably saw you smile a lot from how you've explained things...but...I can't remember much of that. I only have solid memories from before that curse broke and...and I can just remember how sad you were when I came along and just...I hate it. I hate that every time I close my eyes and think back to that time all I can see is the pain on your face." Regina's eyes widened in shock, "Emma no! That was a different time. Things have changed!" The blonde smiled sadly, "I know, I know. I'm ecstatic that things have changed, but...but I just hate that it's the only thing I remember. That's why it's so good to see you smile...and I vow to keep making you smile with my awesome jokes and charming nature because then I can have all new memories and they can be full of your smiles and Henry's laughter." Regina had to turn around and pretend to check the fridge in order to hide how her eyes had become watery. "Wow, I'm sorry that just got so deep. I guess...I guess I just needed to let you know that." The older woman pulled herself together and turned to face her guest, "Thank you...I...I want to see you smile too. Speaking of which, I notice that you are in an extra chipper mood today. May I ask why that is? Are things getting a little easier?" Emma smiled as she answered, "I just...being here with my son and you...away from everyone and everything else...it helps me forget. As soon as I'm with you guys it's like a light switches on and the darkness goes away...so really it's me who should be thanking you. And I know, I know, hiding from my issues and pretending that they don't exist isn't exactly going to help me overcome them. I do know that. But sometimes I need an escape you know?" Regina's heart clenched to hard that she thought she may drop dead right there in the kitchen. There was that word; the same one Henry had used the day before, 'escape.' Regina just wanted to throw her arms around the younger woman, who suddenly looked so small, and whisper sweet and reassuring words into her ear, but she manage to control her urges. "Emma...I hope you know that you are welcome here any time. Whenever you need to...to get away...this can be your safe haven. Just come here and no questions will be asked. We can drink coffee or watch a movie or play a board game with Henry...whatever you need. I also hope you know that I am proud of who you are and I know that our son is too." Emma heart fluttered when Regina had used the word 'our' when describing Henry and she was about to reply but, speak of the devil, the kid came bounding into the room proclaiming that if he didn't eat soon he would die of hunger, effectively distracting the women from their conversation. Regina cast a meaningful look in the younger woman's direction, who nodded in response, before telling Henry to set the table.  
They all sat together at the table once again and ate; the only words spoken were those complimenting Regina's delectable pasta. After bowls were licked clean and the table was wiped down, the trio resumed painting the study, their deed almost done. Only a few square meters of wall remaining. The music was still playing faintly in the background while the three powered through to try and finish by the end of the night, darkness having already eaten up most of the sunlight through the window. Just as she had finished the last piece of wall, Emma glanced sideways at the older woman and she smiled softly at how her nose was all scrunched up as she concentrated. She didn't know what compelled her to do so, perhaps it was just her stupid genes, but she called Regina to look at her and when the brunette turned, Emma lifted her loaded paintbrush and smeared some on the older woman's nose, making a 'boop' noise as she did. Regina looked both shocked and pissed. Henry, who was watching from behind Emma, was sure that World War III was about to take place right here, right now. But just as he thought his brunette mother would incinerate his blonde one, her face went from evil death stare mode to something resembling amusement and she picked up her own paintbrush and ran it down the length of Emma's cheek. The blonde gasped, "Oh it is so on Madame Mayor!" Henry observed, for the next five minutes, his two mothers running around the room having a paint fight. They giggled and squealed like schoolgirls. Henry had never seen his brunette mother like this, but he liked the way that Emma brought out the kid in her. It was good for her. He pulled out his phone to try and snap a sneaky photo of the two in the hopes that he could stick it on the fridge at a later date, simply to remind his Mom that she is capable of having immature and messy fun once in a while and let herself actually enjoy it.  
The two women were now facing each other, both trying to anticipate the other's next move. Regina took a swipe with her brush but Emma caught her wrist mid swing with her free hand. The blonde seized the opportunity and tried to get a hit on Regina, but the older woman was surprisingly quick and she caught the younger woman's wrist in her own free hand, mimicking Emma's strategy. They were both trapped in this position, unable to move at the risk of getting hit with even more paint. Realizing that this was absolutely ridiculous, they both broke into hysterical laughter, but neither let go. They were both hunched over in stitches, neither letting go of the other woman's wrist, when the light flashed. They were both dazed for a moment before noticing Henry holding up his phone with a look of shock and guilt on his face, "I uhh...I thought the flash was off." Both woman gave each other a look of silent agreement and released the grip on their wrists. They immediately turned and ran towards Henry, who hadn't anticipated this at all. He darted away screaming as the two women chased him and flicked paint in his general direction. They finally caught him and he tried to worm his way free while his face adorned the new colour of dark beige. With all his strength he attempted to break free, causing Regina to stumble, sending the trio to the ground. Emma's back hit the floor, Regina landed on top of her, placing her hands either side of the blonde's head as to try and absorb some of the pressure from the fall, and Henry came toppling down right on top. The kid couldn't hold in his giggling and Regina was about to start too, but when looked down and saw the grimace on Emma's face, she knew something was wrong. If this were any other circumstance she may have been hesitant to remove herself her position of lying on top of the younger woman, but she could see pain in her eyes and she knew it was serious. She rolled to the side, effectively forcing Henry to crash to the ground too, still in a fit of laughter. The brunette held out her hands to help her up and Emma took them gratefully. Once upright, the blonde clutched her stomach and looked down at the kid, "You landed on me so hard that my bladder almost exploded!" He continued laughing as Emma made to walk out into the hallway, but Regina grabbed her arm before she could fully exit the room, "Emma...you're hurt." The blonde turned and did her best to fake a smile, "Regina I am fine. I simply need to take a leak." Not wanting to press and make the younger woman feel uncomfortable, Regina released her grip on the skinny arm and let her go.  
Emma returned a good ten minutes later carrying a glass of champagne in her left hand, a cup of soda in her right and a bottle of beer under her arm. She made her way over to the small lounge where mother and son sat. The chair was now covered in a plastic sheet to protect it from the paint dotting their clothes from their previous scuffle. Emma placed champagne atop the coffee table in front of where Regina was sat and the soda in front of Henry. She then sunk down next to her son, sandwiching him in-between his two moms. They all picked up their respective drinks and admired the room around them, thinking about all the things that had happened today. It was dark now, the only light beingma dim lamp turned on in the far corner of the room, but it was just enough to still allow them to gave upon and appreciate the new and much warmer colours of Regina's study.  
The older woman leaned into her son, resting her head on his left shoulder. She shut her eyes and just listened to the sounds of the song that had just started playing. On the boy's other side, his blonde mother also placed her head on his shoulder, and wrapped her left arm around him, her hand finding residence in between the other woman's shoulder blades. Emma too closed her eyes and sighed, "The Only Exception. I love this song." The soothing tune had both women's breathing slow down to a steady pace in no time. Henry smiled cheekily to himself, an opportunity presenting itself to him on a silver platter. He ever so slowly etched his way out of his position on the lounge as to not wake the sleeping women. He let Regina's head fall nicely into the crook of Emma's neck, and his blonde mother's arm fell perfectly around Regina's shoulders. Removing his phone from his pocket, and making sure that the flash was definitely off, he snapped a quick photo. He then left them to rest and made his way quietly up to his room to unpack his things.  
An hour passes and Henry notices the time on his digital clock, 10:53pm. He suddenly remembered Snow's words from this morning before they left the house, "you make sure that you're home no later than 11pm!" He decided that he had better go and wake his sleeping mothers, or else Mary-Margaret would not be happy at all. As he entered the study, still pungent with the smell of fresh paint, he notices that the two women's position on the lounge had changed. Regina's legs were now curled up on the lounge and she was lying down on her side, head resting in Emma's lap, who was in fact wide awake and softly playing with the sleeping woman's brunette locks. Henry almost squealed upon seeing his mothers in such a cozy position. He wanted to just slap Emma across the face and yell, 'YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER GODAMMIT! I MEAN LOOK AT YOU! SHE IS HERE, SLEEPING ON YOU AND YOU ARE PLAYING WITH HER HAIR...HOW MUCH CLEARER CAN IT GET?!' The kid had to hold his breath and count to three to calm himself down enough that he could get Emma's attention. "Ma?" The blonde's hand visibly jerked and her eyes bugged out, "Holy f-shit. Kid you scared the living crap out of me. Jesus. Don't do that." Henry raised an eyebrow at her, "What are you doing there Ma?" Emma looked down at Regina and then back up at her son, "I just...she looked so peaceful. It's been a long day and I didn't want to wake her." He decided that he was much too tired to bring anything up about 'true love' at this time of night so he let it slide. Even Emma, if she was being completely honest, was a little confused as to why she found comfort in letting her fingers glide through the other woman's chestnut locks. "Snow is expecting you home in like 5 minutes. I just thought I'd let you know." The blonde's eyes widened, "Oh god. I need to go!" As gently as she could, she lifted Regina's head off her lap and jumped up from the couch, placing a pillow where her legs just were, to make sure the older woman was comfortable. She ducked out to the linen cupboard down the hall and returned with a blanket to throw over the sleeping woman. She darted back to the kitchen and scribbled a note on the back of a stray shopping list and left it on the coffee table by Regina. Henry amused as ever, stood by and watched Emma fuss about making sure his Mom was okay. When she was finally ready to leave, she gave him a hug and kissed his forehead, "Good night kid. Thanks for making today work." She looked over at the lump under the blanket, "Take good care of her for me okay?" Henry smiled knowingly and nodded. "Love you Ma." Emma returned the smile, "Love you too Henry." And with that, she was gone.  
\----------  
Not even fifteen minutes later Regina woke up. Henry, who happened to be passing by with a glass of water, noticed his mother stirring and came in to say goodnight, but before he had even got the chance to say anything his mother spoke, "Henry where is Emma?" She looked so disorientated and confused. "Mom she doesn't live here. She had to go back to her own house. But she left you a note. It's right there on the table." Regina spotted the slip of paper and grabbed it. 'Sorry I couldn't say goodnight; I didn't want to wake you. I might call in tomorrow to steal some leftover pasta. Thanks for an awesome day –E.' The brunette smiled and subconsciously ran her thumb over the words scribbled on the note. She stood and suddenly without the warmth of the blanket surrounding her she became quite cold. She walked over to where her jacket still hung off the back of the chair and picked it up. Only then did she notice that Emma's sweater was still sitting there from this morning. "Your idiot mother left her jumper here." Henry walked over and sighed, "Typical Emma." He turned and left the room, expecting his mother to follow him up to go to bed, but when she still wasn't behind him when he reached the stairs, he backtracked to try and find her. She was by the front door, pulling on a pair of sneakers and zipping up her jacket. "Mom...what in the world are you doing?" She looked sideways at him, "I'm returning Emma's jacket." The kid shook his head and frowned, "But...she said she would swing by tomorrow. Why can't you just give it to her then?" Regina furrowed her brows, trying to come up with any excuse to see the blonde again, unable to contain the sudden desire to simply be in her company. "Well...well maybe she wants her sweater now.", was the best excuse she could come up with. This brought a smirk to Henry's face, "Oh okay Mom I understand. We wouldn't want your wife getting cold now would we?" The woman scoffed at her son, "You must get your sense of humor from Emma...But really, I shouldn't be long. Are you okay by yourself for a little while?" Henry waggled his eyebrows, "I'm fine Mom. You just take all the time you need." As Regina stepped through her front door into the night, she could still hear her son singing some dreadful song about herself and Emma sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  
\----------  
Regina parked her car around the corner from Mary-Margaret's apartment building, not wanting to risk being seen by the Charming duo, even though it was rather late. She climbed the stairs and stopped outside Snow's door. Knowing she couldn't just waltz on in, she had to use an alternative option and just pray to a higher power that no one was in the hallway when she teleported.  
Regina appeared in the hall right outside Emma's bedroom door and she smiled, reveling in the familiar buzz running through her veins. She slowly cracked open the door. She could see a dim light, most likely coming from the ensuite, and considering she could hear the faucet running she could safely assume that the blonde was in the bathroom. Since the light was too bright to be peeking out from under the door, Regina guessed that the door was wide open, so she thought it best to give the younger woman some warning before entering. She did her best to remain quiet, as to not disturb the other two inhabitants of the apartment. "Emma? It's Regina. I just came to return your sweater...so ready or not I am coming in." When she received no reply, she stepped into the room and clicked the door shut behind her. She tentatively stepped over to the bathroom door, which was ajar, and hesitantly pushed it open the rest of the way.  
Now, Regina wasn't a woman that was scared of many things. She had conquered realms, destroyed lives and lived through hell. She prided herself on this particular trait. But when that ensuite door opened to reveal Emma doubled over, stomach, arms, face and hands covered in blood...fear as raw as any she had felt before coursed through her body and shook her very soul.


End file.
